THAT'S NICE.
THAT'S BEAUTIFUL.
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) SAY I HAD TO JON BATISTE AND
STAY HUMAN, EVERYBODY.
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) JON, WHAT YEAR WERE YOU BORN?
>> Jon: I'M BORN IN 1986.
>> Stephen: YOU WEREN'T EVEN BORN WHEN THAT SONG CAME OUT.
YOU KNOW WHAT ALBUM THAT IS FROM?
>> Jon: IS IT HOTTER THAN JULY.
>> Stephen: EXACTLY RIGHT.
I THOUGHT I COULD TV STUMP YOU BUT I COULD NOT.
>> Jon: NO, NO, NO.
>> Stephen: I APOLOGIZE FOR EVEN ATTEMPTING.
IT'S NOT ONLY MARTIN LUTHER KING DAY STVMENT ALSO OBAMA'S LAST
WEEK IN OFFICE.
AND OF COURSE-- OBAMA IS DETERMINED TO PROTECT HIS ENTIRE
LEGACY.
AND REPUBLICANS ARE JUST AS DETERMINED TO MAKE SURE HIS
ENTIRE LEGACY WAS THAT TIME HE WORE MOM JEANS.
(LAUGHTER) THEY ARE GOING TO GET RID OF
EVERYTHING HE'S DONE STARTING WITH THE AFFORDABLE CARE ACT.
WHICH THEY HAVE ALREADY VOTED TO KILL MORE THAN 60 TIMES.
YOU KNOW THE OLD SAYING F AT FIRST YOU DON'T SUCCEED, TIE TRY
TRY TRY, TRY, TRY, TRY TRY TRY TRY, TRY, TRY, TRY, TRY TRY TRY
TRY TRY, TRY, TRY, TRY, TRY TRY TRY TRY, TRY, TRY, TRY, TRY TRY
TRY TRY, TRY TRY, TRY TRY TRY TRY, TRY, TRY, TRY TRY TRY TRY,
TRY TRY TRY TRY AGAIN.
AND THIS TIME-- IS THAT RIGHT?
IS THAT RIGHT.
>> Jon: THAT WAS RIGHT.
>> Stephen: LET ME DO MY MATH.
NOW THIS TIME THE REPUBLICANS MEAN IT.
REPUBLICAN SENATOR MIKE ENZI-OF-WYOMING SAID THE
OBAMACARE BRIDGE IS COLLAPSING AND WE'RE ENDING IN A RESCUE
TEAM.
ONE OF THOSE RESCUE TEAMS THAT TEARS DOWN BRIDGES AND GOES
HOME.
YESTERDAY DONALD TRUMP TRIED TO ASSURE PEOPLE CURRENTLY COVERED
BY THE LAW THAT HE HAS A PLAN.
IT'S NOT GOING TO BE THEIR PLAN.
IT WILL BE ANOTHER PLAN.
BUT THEY WILL BE BEAUTIFULFULLY COVERED.
>> Stephen: OH, DON'T WORRY, IF YOU ARE LOSING YOUR OBAMACARE
YOU WILL BE BEAUTIFULFULLY COVERED.
EITHER BY INSURANCE OR SIX FEET OF DIRT.
EITHER WAY, JUST BEAUTIFUL.
SO NICE.
SO BEAUTIFUL.
WE'RE GOING TO TRAMP THE DIRT DOWN, WE'LL TRAMP IT DOWN ALL
SMOOTH.
IT'S GOING TO BE BEAUTIFUL.
SO WE KNOW REPUBLICANS, WE KNOW REPUBLICANS ARE GOING TO REPLACE
IT.
AND THEY HAVEN'T TOLD US WITH WHAT.
BUT I THINK THEY'VE GIVEN US A HINTED.
AND THAT BRINGS US TO TONIGHT'S WERD.
REPEAL AND ERASE.
EVERYONE IN THE GOP IS ON BOARD WITH KILL OG BAMACARE.
AND PRESIDENT ELECT TRUMP KNOWS HOW IT'S GOING TO GO DOWN.
>> IT WILL BE REPEAL AND REPLACE.
IT IT WILL BE ESSENTIALLY SIMULTANEOUSLY.
IT WILL BE VARIOUS SEGMENTS, YOU UNDERSTAND, BUT WILL MOST LIKELY
BE ON THE SAME DAY OR THE SAME WEEK BUT PROBABLY THE SAME DAY.
COULD BE THE SAME HOUR.
>> Stephen: YEAH.
SAME HOUR, SAME MINUTE, MAYBE THE SAME SECOND, HELL, ALL
THINGS IN HISTORY MAY HAPPEN AT EXACTLY THE SAME TIME IF
CONGRESS CAN JUST GET THE DELOREAN TO GENERATE 1.21
JIGGAWATTS.
>> THANK YOU, SENATOR SANDERS.
JUST ONE PROBLEM.
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) THERE'S JUST ONE PROBLEM WITH
THEIR PLAN TO REPEAL AND REPLACE.
IT'S THE REPLACE PART.
JUST ASK REPUBLICAN SENATOR AND MOM'S FIRST BOYFRIEND AFTER THE
TORS-- DIVORCE TOM COTTON.
HE SAID QUOTE WE HAVEN'T COALESCED AROUND A SOLUTION FOR
SIX YEARS IN PART BECAUSE IT'S SO COMPLICATED.
YEAH, IT'S JUST SO DARN COMPLICATED.
REPUBLICANS ARE LIKE A DOG THAT FINALLY CATCHES THE CAR HE'S
BEEN CHASING FOR SIX YEARS.
HE CRASHES INTO IT, THEN CAN'T EVEN GO TO THE VET BECAUSE THEY
REPEALED FIDO-CARE.
AND HERE'S THE THING.
REPEAL WITHOUT REPLACE COULD CAUSE POLITICAL BACKLASH BECAUSE
UNDER OBAMACARE 20 MILLION PEOPLE HAVE GOTTEN HEALTH
INSURANCE.
OVER 6 MILLION OF WHOM ARE TRUMP'S CORE SUPPORTERS.
THEY ARE WHITE, WHITE, WHITE WORKING CLASS VOTERS.
AND REPEALING OBAMACARE WITHOUT REPLACING IT WOULD COST 3
MILLION JOBS.
WHAT ARE THOSE PEOPLE GOING TO DO FOR WORK.
AND IT'S ESTIMATED, IT'S ESTIMATED THE REPEAL WOULD COST
$1.5 TRILLION.
NOW 1.5 TRILLION MIGHT SOUND LIKE A LOT, BUT FOR THAT MUCH
MONEY, YOU ALSO DON'T GET HEALTH INSURANCE.
OF COURSE WE WON'T KNOW THE OFFICIAL NUMBERS UNTIL THE
CONGRESSIONAL BUDGET OFFICE RELEASES ITS REPORT WHICH BY LAW
IT MUST DO FOR ANY BILL OVER $5 BILLION.
WITH ONE, THIS IS KIND OF FUNNY EXCEPTION, THANKS TO NEW RULES
PASSED BY THE REPUBLICANS, THIS LAW SHALL NOT APPLY TO REPEALING
THE AFFORDABLE CARE ACT.
THAT'S RIGHT.
THE GOP IS SO CONFIDENT THE REPEAL WILL SAVE MONEY, THAT
THEY DON'T WANT TO KNOW IF THAT'S TRUE.
AND IF CONGRESS CAN MAKE IT ILLEGAL FOR US TO KNOW HOW MUCH
IT COSTS TO REPEAL OBAMACARE, I THINK THEY MIGHT HAVE STUMBLED
ON THE REPLACEMENT.
JUST MAKE IT ILLEGAL FOR YOUR DOCTOR TO TELL YOU YOUR
DIAGNOSIS.
THAT WAY, THAT WAY YOU'LL NEVER NEED INSURANCE AS FAR AS YOU
KNOW.
WELL, MR. JOHNSTON, HAVE I YOUR CHART RIGHT HERE.
LET'S SEE.
AND I CAN'T LEGALLY TELL YOU HOW YOU ARE.
U H, JUST MAKE THE MOST OF YOUR DAY.
AND HERE'S A HINT, DON'T WORRY ABOUT THE EXPIRATION DATES ON
YOUR FOOD.
YOUR MILK'S GOING TO BE FINE.
SO REPUBLICANS, SOO REPUBLICANS ARE RIGHT TO KEEP NEWS THE DARK.
I KNOW WHEN SOMEONE IS SCREWING ME, I LIKE TO KEEP THE LIGHTS
OFF.
AND THAT'S THE WERD.
STICK AROUND, WE HAVE SARAH PAUL SEN.-- PAULSEN.