>> Stephen: WELL, WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY.
MY FIRST GUEST IS AN ACADEMY AWARD-NOMINATED ACTRESS, SINGER
AND NOW AUTHOR.
PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO THE SHOW THE LOVELY ANNA KENDRICK.
♪ ♪ ♪ ( APPLAUSE )
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> HI, GUYS!
>> Stephen: IT'S SO NICE TO YOU HAVE HERE.
>> THANKS FOR HAVING ME BACK!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) THAT'S HOW I FEEL!
EERRGGH!
>> Stephen: PEOPLE LOVE ANNA KENDRICK.
>> I FEEL LIKE JOY COMES AT ME IN RAGE WAVES RIGHT NOW, SO I
TOTALLY GOT THAT.
ALL OF MY EMOTIONS ARE REALLY CONFUSED RIGHT NOW.
EVERYTHING'S JUST KIND OF MIXED UP.
BUT IT FEELS KIND OF GOOD, I THINK.
>> Stephen: UH-HUH.
>> I'VE BEEN, LIKE, MEASURE AGO I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU'RE DOING.
HOW ARE YOU DOING?
>> Stephen: OFFICIALLY, GREAT.
>> YEAH, YEAH.
( LAUGHTER ) ME, TOO.
GREAT OFFICIALLY.
BUT -- >> YOU ARE A RAY OF SUNSHINE
PROFESSIONALLY.
>> OH THANK YOU.
>> Stephen: PEOPLE ARE HAPPY WHEN THEY SEE YOU.
>> THAT'S SO SWEET.
THAT WOULD BE NICE.
>> Stephen: YOU'RE HAPPY TO SEE ANNA KENDRICK, AREN'T YOU?
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: EXACTLY!
HOW ARE YOU COPING?
WHAT ARE YOUR COPING MECHANISMRIGHT NOW?
>> COPE-- I'VE BASICALLY BEEN MEASURING MY PROGRESS IN, LIKE,
I'VE BEEN CRYING A LITTLE LESS EACH DAY.
>> Stephen: THAT'S COOL.
>> I KNOW THAT MAKES PEOPLE FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE BUT I CRY IN
MOVIES.
I HAVE BEEN GOING FROM CRYING TO LAUGHING AND LAUGHING TO CRYING
SO EVERYBODY IS MIXED UP.
>> Stephen: YOU HAVEN'T GOTTEN THE MED MIX QUITE RIGHT?
>> I WAS TRYING TO OPEN A BOTTLE.
I COULDN'T GET A BOTTLE OPENED THIS MORNING, AND I HAD THIS
THOUGHT, AND I WAS LIKE, "I GUESS I REALLY DO NEED A MAN
PRESIDENT."
AND THEN I LAUGHED TO MYSELF AND THEN STARTED CRYING AND THEN
LAUGHED.
>> Stephen: THAT'S A GOOD WAY TO GET THROUGH LIFE.
>> AT LEAST I THINK I'M REALLY FUNNY.
( LAUGHTER ).
>> Stephen: THANKSGIVING IS COMING UP.
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: ARE YOU HAVING THANKSGIVING?
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: THAT CAN BE A TIME AFTER THE ELECTION WHEN THERE
CAN BE SOME TENSION?
>> THERE'S NOTHING THEY KNOW OF.
BUT WE'VE GOT ONE ROGUE UNCLE.
I THINK EVERY FAMILY HAS THAT ONE GUY LIKE, WHAT, DID YOU DO?
OH!
WHAT DID YOU DO?" >> Stephen: HE COMES IN AND
GOES, "HOW YOU DOING?" >> IT MAY BE INTERESTING.
>> Stephen: DON'T CRY IN FRONT OF HIM.
>> I'M DO WHAT I WANT!
I'LL DO WHATEVER I WANT!
NO, THAT'S WHAT I MEAN I'M PRO RAGE, JOY, AND OPEN CRYING.
I LOVE IT.
>> Stephen: YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE, YOU'RE SCRAPPY?
>> OH, THAT'S A SEGUE TO MY BOOK.
THAT'S SWEET.
>> Stephen: THAT'S WHAT I DO FOR A LIVING.
I SEGUED TO HER BOOK AND YOU GUYS DIDN'T EVEN FEEL IT.
THE BOOK IS CALLED-- OOPS, SORRY.
>> UNPROFESSIONAL!
>> Stephen: IT'S CALLED "SCRAPPY LITTLE NOBODY," RIGHT
THERE.
NOW, DID YOU PUT THAT TITLE ON THERE?
>> TOW TRY AND SEEM REAL HUMBLE.
"OH, ME.
OH, SHUCKS, Y'ALL.
LITTLE OLD ME."
>> Stephen: YOU'RE AN ACADEMY-NOMINATED ACTRESS,
EVERYBODY LIKES YOU.
HOW ARE YOU A NOBODY?
>> I WAS HAVING THIS CONVERSATION WITH MY BROTHER AND
THINKITHINKING ABOUT MOVING TO L AND TRYING TO BECOME AN ACTRESS.
AND I WAS LIKE WAS I MORE EYE TEXTED HIM AND I WAS LIKE, "I
THINK I MISS BEING THIS, SCRAPPY LITTLE NOBODY, AND I THINK I WAS
MORE CAPABLE THEN."
HE WAS LIKE, "DUDE, YOU'RE STILL SCRAEP.
YOU GET MORE E-MAIL NOW."
AND I THINK THE TITLE IS WANTING TO HOLD ON TO THAT GUY, WANTING
TO HOLD ON TO THE RAGE JOY.
>> Stephen: THIS IS YOUR MEMOIR.
HOW DOES ONE AT YOUR AGE WRITE A MEMOIR?
( LAUGHTER ) I MEAN, WHEN--
>> WELL, I'M DONE NOW.
>> Stephen: YOU DON'T HAVE THAT MUCH TO LOOK BACK ON YET,
DO YOU?
>> NO.
>> Stephen: YOU'VE ACHIEVED A LOT BUT YOU'RE ONLY 31 YEARS
OLD.
>> I DON'T KNOW, I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE NICE TO WRITE DOWN ALL
THE WEIRD THOUGHTS IN MY HEAD AND FIND OUT IF PEOPLE STILL
LIKED ME.
( LAUGHTER ).
>> Stephen: YOU DO TALK ABOUT SOME STUFF IN HERE.
YOU SAY-- IT'S VERY PERSONAL REVELATION IN HERE THAT I DON'T
KNOW IF I WOULD HAVE REVEALED.
>> UH-HUH...
>> Stephen: YOU GOT TO PICK YOUR OWN BUTT DOUBLE.
>> OH, YEAH.
( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: WHAT DID YOU NEED
THE BUTT DOUBLE FOR?
WAS THIS JUST FOR BUYING JEANS?
>> IT WAS JUST FOR FUN.
>> Stephen: WHAT WAS THE PROJECT?
>> IT WAS FOR "MIKE AND DAVE NEED WEDDING DATE."
AND THERE WAS A SCENE WHERE THEY SHOW HALF OF THE BUTT, AND I GOT
A BUTT DOUBLE EYE DIDN'T KNOW HOW IT WAS GOING TO WORK.
BUT THEY BRING YOU THIS FOLDER OF POLAROIDS.
( LAUGHTER ) OF, LIKE, NAKED WOMEN.
I FELT SO CREEPY.
I FELT LIKE A SERIAL KILLER.
AND I WAS-- AND THEY-- AND THEY PHOTOGRAPHED THEM FROM THE
FRONT, FOR NO REASON AT ALL, OTHER THAN TO MAKE ME FEEL
WEIRD.
>> Stephen: JUST IN CASE YOU WANTED A FRONT DOUBLE.
>> I GUESS.
IF I WANTED TO SPIN AROUND, IF THAT WAS WHAT MY CHARACTER WOULD
DO.
I WAS LIKE, "I DON'T-- I DON'T KNOW.
I JUST--" I REALIZED I DON'T KNOW WHAT MY BUTT LOOKS LIKE
BECAUSE IT'S BEHIND ME.
SO I DON'T ACTUALLY KNOW.
AND I WAS LIKE, "I THINK THIS ONE LOOKS GOOD."
AND THE PRODUCER WAS LIKE, "HER BUTT'S A LITTLE SQUARE."
AND I WAS LIKE, "DO I HAVE A SQUARE BUTT?
IS THAT A THING BUTTS CAN BE?" >> Stephen: DID YOU COMPARE IT
LATER, COMPARE YOUR BUTT TO THIS PERSON'S BUTT?
NO, EVEN IF YOU ARE LOOKIN LOOKI MIRROR YOU'RE TWISTING AROUND.
>> Stephen: DO YOU OWN AN IPHONE OR ARE YOU THE ONE
PERSON IN HOLLYWOOD-- >> I THINK IT WOULD BE A BAD
IDEA TO TAKE A PICTURE OF MY BUTT.
>> Stephen: MAYBE SO.
>> I EXPECT IT -- >> WHAT WAS YOUR CRITERIA?
HIGHWAY DID YOU FINALLY LAND ON THE BUTT?
>> BASICALLY, THEY WERE LIKE, WELL, ALL OF THESE GIRLS ARE TOO
TALL AND TOO TAN, SO REALLY IT HAS TO BE THIS ONE, SHORT, PALE
GIRL.
I WAS LIKE SO I JUST SAW ALL THESE NAKED WOMEN FOR NOTHING.
I MEAN, NOT FOR NOTHING, IT WAS GREAT, BUT --
>> OBVIOUSLY, OBVIOUSLY, RIGHT.
SO WHAT HAPPENED TO THIS BOOK OF POLAROIDS?
>> I DON'T KNOW.
THAT'S A GREAT QUESTION.
>> Stephen: I'M CURIOUS.
I WOULDN'T LEAVE THAT LAYING AROUND.
>> I'M GOING TO FIND OUT.
OH, GOD.
WHAT DOES HAPPEN?
NOW, I'M REALLY CONCERNED.
>> Stephen: I DON'T KNOW.
BUT, SPEAKING OF NINGZ THAT ARE SLIGHTLY DISTURBING?
>> OH, GREAT.
>> Stephen: I'M ACTUALLY GOING TO HOLD OFF ON THIS ONE UNTIL WE
COME BACK FROM THE COMMERCIAL BREAK.
>> WHAT!
>> Stephen: WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH SOMETHING SLIGHTLY
DISTURBING FROM ANNA KENDRICK.