hello my name's Davie I'm a police sergeant currently based in community policing in Falkirk
my name's Malcolm I'm a special constable in Perthshire currently working out of Pitlochry
I'm Carol Mapely I'm from the National Trans Police Association
my name's Frazer Robertson I'm an acting sergeant working in the Edinburgh area
I'm Wendy Callan and I'm a special police constable and I work in the Falkirk area
hello I'm Graham Thomson I'm a police constable working in Dundee
my name's Elliot and I'm a community police officer working in Edinburgh
my name's Becky I'm a police officer and I work in Edinburgh
hello my name's Stuart I'm a sergeant in the CPT in the west end of Glasgow
hi I'm Graham I work in IT for the Scottish Police I'm based in Glasgow
when I grew up at school I was a bit of a swaty kid
I was always the quiet kid
I did everything I could to fit in to be honest
maybe more boyish activities I suppose
my dad died when I was quite young so growing up with just my mum looking after me could
be quite a struggle at times
I was quite academic I was very into school and I liked going to school
growing up I was always really active always out and about
my home town was very a rural place only about three thousand people stayed there
I think I've always known I've been a bit different from my early teens
I suppose I really knew that I was gay when about the time that I went to move up to secondary
school
I first suspected I was a bit different when I was about seven or eight and I began to
feel very very uneasy about being a boy thought actually perhaps I should have been a girl
I've always known certainly not maybe that I was gay but I've certainly always known
that I was slightly different
I started suspecting that I might be gay in my early teens
I think I realised I was gay when I was around about eleven
I think in my heart of hearts I always knew that I was gay but it wasn't until I was about
fourteen that I'd started to accept that
I started to realise that maybe I was a little bit different at quite a young age I just
wasn't ever interested in chasing after the boys in the playground
I first knew I was gay around about second or third year of secondary school
I guess I knew I was gay when I started High school
I always used to laugh growing up because still to this day my gran knits shawls for
the grandchild she is hoping to have
I suppose the expectations from family and friends when I was growing up was that just
to fit in and just to be normal
go to Kirk every Sunday that was one of the things that was expected of me I had a very
very strict childhood
there was an expectation that I would grow up and I would have a wife and kids and the
dog and the white picket fence and that was what was expected
I was also expected to have a boyfriend and probably by this time was expected to be married
and maybe with kids
mum would always talk about having grandchildren and getting married and settling down
while I was growing up my sister would often bring boyfriends home and that would prompt
my family particularly my grandma she'd be like when are you going to bring a boyfriend
home
I didn't really know anyone else who was gay when I was growing up the only people I knew
who were gay were off the television
there was quite derogatory, negative images
overly effeminate males and probably what can be described as butch females
the perception I had of gay people when I was younger it was almost like joke characters
they were quite effeminate
there weren't any role models there weren't any normal people normal famous people who
also happened to be gay
when I was growing up I though that all lesbians were sort of big butch horrible people who
just didn't have any friends and that's how they were how they were
when I grew up I never knew any other gay people my only images of gay people were those
on the television chat show hosts comedians etcetera
when I did know finally that I was gay I was quite cross with myself and disappointed in
myself because I felt like I couldn't fit in with everyone else
when my feelings about it became more overt in the end it was like living in a pressure
cooker I couldn't keep the lid on it anymore
I was incredibly ashamed I think that's the one word I would use
I think I felt being gay was going to separate me from everybody that I loved
it was something that I had always been it didn't change my outlook on life I've never
known what its like to be a straight person
I kept thinking about being gay why me
I didn't set out to tell people it sort of crept out by dribs and drabs I've always lived
in quite small communities and in the smaller community you've got no secrets
I was incredibly worried that my parents were going to abandon me and say that we are ashamed
of you and don't want you to be part of the family
my girlfriend my very first girlfriend outed me to my parents
it was quite a weird day I had finally got so worked up and decided I was going to tell
mum I had her down to the house I was in an absolute state decided to tell her and once
I'd told her that I was gay her words to me were do you want a cup of tea son
because I think it's important with something like that that can be big news to somebody
that it was me who told them and it wasn't a rumour and they didn't hear from someone
else
I just blurted it out and that was that
I never got to tell my father he died when I was quite young so never got to tell him
I told my mother she didn't speak to me for the best past of fifteen years I told my divisional
commander in the police all he did was threw me out of his office and kicked me as I went
out the door
my parents initial reaction was quite negative and it was a big shock to everyone I think
I'd hid that part of my life quite well up until that point
I'm kind of lucky that I think I grew up in a time where there wasn't a huge problem I
grew up in the city and people's attitudes were very liberal
when I told my mum who was the first person I came out to she just looked at me and said
ah well tell me something I don't know everybody know it's quite obvious and I thought someone
could have told me it would have made things a lot easier
nothing really changed in the coming out process I still had my life still had my job one thing
that was positive and was really good for me was I was able to talk about my life talk
about what I was doing at home in my personal life at work with friends I wouldn't have
to lie to them and that felt so much better
when I did finally come out and tell people I found it a lot better I found I was a lot
more confident in myself It wasn't really a big deal nobody was really caring but it
meant I could have proper conversations with people about what I was up to at the weekend
about stuff outside my work what I was doing with my own life without having to think about
what I was saying without tripping myself up
I had to leave my job in fact I was sort of told to leave the police It was just one totally
horrible experience but that was then
my parents treated me quite differently after they found out I was gay at least initially
they weren't quite as touchy feely with me as they were before they avoided talking about
my romantic life at all
after I told mum our relationship didn't really change we were always very close and that
continued but I felt better in myself as I was no longer hiding the fact that I had a
partner or what I'd been doing at the weekend or who I was going on holiday with
I think I'm lucky having come out so young that nothing did change because there was
nothing to change this is what I've been since I was so young and for so long no there was
nothing to change
I think some members of my family were quite shocked but they were all quite understanding
so I was lucky in that respect but unfortunately I did end up losing a lot of my friends at
school who just didn't seem willing to accept the fact that apparently I had suddenly changed
by telling them who I really was
well all I can say is that I work with officers today who are Trans has it changed it's amazing
I look back at what happened to me back then it was appalling and I look at things now
I'm just gob-smacked things have changed so much and it's so positive now
I'm a lot happier content confident proud of who I am I think having gone from one end
of the spectrum to being deeply ashamed of being gay to the complete opposite where I
almost wear it like a badge of honour and if someone was to challenge that I'd be really
incensed by it and would fight that corner
thankfully my family have come round to the idea of me being gay and they are incredibly
supportive now it did take quite a few years and meeting
a partner of mine to understand that I can still have the life that they wanted for me
when I was little
things weren't great prior to me telling my family my parents in particular the day I
told them things started to get a lot better
if someone's bullying or harassing you deal with it its not to be tolerated it's not acceptable
choose someone you know and trust a teacher a youth worker a family member a friend
if you are experiencing homophobia you need to talk to someone speak to anyone you're
not alone speak to your teachers speak to us we're here to help
you need to talk to somebody you're not the only person
don't be ashamed don't take it to heart too much the people bullying you they're the people
with the issue
if somebody is suffering from bullying tell someone tell a friend tell a teacher tell
a relative tell me
it does get better
and it definitely does get better
it gets better
it does get better
it'll definitely get better
it really does get better
it does get better
it gets better in fact it gets a whole lot better