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KLEPPER: I should be out fingering the pulse.
Instead, I'm in, focused on surviving
and thriving in my one-bedroom apartment.
But while I'm sheltered in place like a boss,
am I prepared for things like tomorrow
or, God forbid, next week?
Luckily, I found a place
that's entirely focused on preparation,
Fortitude Ranch.
It's a prepper paradise
with everything from self-sufficient farming
to solar-powered luxury bunkers and weaponized gazebos
that are there to stop marauders.
I reached out to operator Steven Rene to learn more.
(ringing)
Uh, Steven, how are you?
I'm doing great, thanks.
I'm not super big on prep.
I got to be honest, I don't think
about getting a dinner reservation
till morning of, and then it's a pain in the ass.
Luckily, I know some people at Minetta Tavern,
so I'm usually okay.
Walk me through this preparation.
Can you show me what you got?
Sure. Let me... let me show you some of the facilities, Jordan.
This is the hardened bunker three feet underground
with eight-inch reinforced concrete.
This is where we have all the different rooms.
Does nobody want to paint the wood?
As you come over here,
you can see that we have, uh, restrooms.
For a family, there's a bunk bed
that turns into a couch. Um...
What kind... what kind of thread count
do you have going on on that bed?
RENE: I couldn't tell you exactly.
Uh, but I could get back to you in an e-mail
with that information if you'd like.
That'd be helpful.
RENE: So, here you can see an example
of some that shelf life food.
So, that's freeze-dried food.
Wow. That's a lot of beans.
RENE: Here's a different variant for a room.
Um, wood stove working over here.
So, this is more set up for a couple.
Boy, they better really like each other.
Right now it-it definitely looks like something
in a true-crime Netflix series.
Life is gonna change, right?
If you're gonna show me yours, I should show you mine.
The place where we're living, specifically.
-Ah, I got you. -Yeah, yeah. Do you want to see...
I... Just any kind of advice you have
how to turn this into a hardened situation.
Uh, I got, uh...
a decent amount of records here.
Jazz. Blues.
Uh, garage rock, for sure.
Um, food-wise...
Can see I got some, uh, sprouted chili verde rice.
Some, uh, Bombay potatoes.
A lot of Indian food.
Hopefully, that keeps.
We'll see.
Uh, so, Steven, I have a...
a decent liquor cabinet over here.
Cynar, Campari, Aperol.
Like, definitely enough for a good week's worth of negronis.
I don't think that, uh,
that's really gonna help you too much
in a real serious situation.
Well, if it gets real serious,
I'm just gonna go straight gin.
(chuckles) Well, that may make you feel better
for a limited amount of time,
but I'm not sure in the long-term
it's gonna do you much good.
KLEPPER: Maybe he's right.
Negronis will only take you so far.
And since Fortitude Ranch says they're expanding
to 12 undisclosed locations around America, I want in.
Give me goats, tree houses,
plywood everything,
and digestive problems for a year straight.
Where do I sign up?
Well, unfortunately, you're a day late and a dollar short.
We're all full.
I think we're dwelling too much on the past.
Let's talk about the future.
I would be a real asset at Fortitude Ranch.
I was an improv teacher.
Um, I taught sketch comedy.
Uh, I once took a drunk painting class.
Well, we-- You know, we're looking for people
who are more interested than-- in being an asset
than they are for comic relief.
Well, I'm not saying it's all gonna be comic.
I mean, a lot of the insights that I have,
inherently, are not funny.
Well, at this point, we're actually down
to a waiting list, so...
KLEPPER: Fine. Who needs you anyway?
I'll just stay put here
on what the guy with the stand on Canal Street told me
-is 1,000 thread count Egyptian cotton. -(sighs)
It's noon.
(sighs)