We're really low and always trying to get the ball right here there are six of
us going on a beach volleyball date and I'm thrilled that means I get to spend
some time with Tim pony diamond ring like I'm five feet tall but I have like
mad hops it's awesome about get the thing started I have something to say
I've had a really really fun week with everybody I've gotten to know some
people that I'm really glad that I got a chance to get to know but I haven't had
a lot of time with some of you that I would like to have I'm not here to be on
vacation I'm here to find the one and I don't think that watching you guys play
volleyball is really gonna help decide anything so I've decided to cancel
volleyball what does that mean there's no date what's going on there were girls
yesterday who did get time with him and now today was supposed to be our time
we're gonna hang out at all time
I need quality time to get answers and make real connections now it's a
freaking 12 on one it's hard for me to step on toes and try and fight for his
attention it just sucks totally not fair I'm just annoyed it's just not how I
want to spend my day
Nataly somebody that I've really had questions about there's some type of
physical connection there but I want to get to know her better we literally
haven't seen each other since we just know wow so you remember the kiss when
Tim comes around and I see him my heart always skips a beat I know I'm into him
because of these feelings I'm getting inside I've heard that you drive a
motorcycle natalie is a little insecure you can tell I wanted to tell you that I
Drive a Camaro I think it's kind of badass I like it I
think she wants to be that perfect teacher dream girl but like there's a
lot of issues going on with that girl and I can see it you know who's batshit
crazy and you know who's not I tried to you know because II I tried to be polite
and then there's also aside to me that kind of likes to get a little bit
adventurous you know you shouldn't always judge a book by it's cover but I
wasn't sure yeah how you feel about that or what you think so buddy just come out
and tell you I know Natalie doesn't really know where she stands which is a
really tough thing because I can feel that she feels pressure when I'm with
you it's just so comfortable but you know like a little cleanup still bit
nervous I felt bad she needs some time to come
out of her shell she needs some comfort and I think I'll see a very different
Natalie than what we saw today
I'm just not having fun and I thought this was gonna be like a fun group date
thing and we haven't hung out with Jim at all it's just been Tim in the Cabana
with girls while we watch like crepes my main goal is to do social work at least
until I have kids and then obviously I want my entire life to be about it
when I was on our date it felt like he was my boyfriend and now it feels like
my boyfriend is Hank you know with everyone but me
hello I need some Tim time I'm just feeling overwhelmed and he starts
building connections with these other girls who just aren't very similar to me
you're the one that started with leg the first thing we're gonna do is a shot
together I know I don't have a limo like shot maybe I'm not his type and you know
a lot of things are running through my head in terms of Tim in terms of all the
other women oh why are you crying babe it's just like literally everything and
I know it's what we signed up for but it's real I've got a crier in the Cabana
it just feels like you're kind of cheated out of your time to pursue
something
I just don't really know why I'm getting like so emotional right now
in the middle of talking to Riley I ended up noticing that April Brockman
had kind of run away from the group I need to find out what's wrong
he's out there April Brockman ran down there and then
he ran after her it sucks because I've talked to the freaking guy for like five
minutes I can't watch that anymore so I'm done with that didn't expect that
Tim would be running up behind me I wanted to come down here to collect my
thoughts I haven't done that yet don't come here yet these girls initial
reaction is to cry when something's not going their way you're gonna be put in
situations in relationships where you need to react properly and not just go
off crying and feeling all sorry for yourself but nobody has time for that I
certainly don't true I just I just don't get it
it's hard because like I don't cry
building those connections with those girls it's like it's something and is
almost over before and I think that's what
you know I have to spend time in other places to answer questions that I have
especially when there's this many people around and I think that just had started
to get to her all I'm trying to do here is figure out if there's a connection
because I don't want anyone else stand up with
okay I like that coming I don't want to be caught up in this I just want to have
fun with everybody come on have fun today and get tipsy and swim in the
ocean when she said that I was like you know I screw this we're having fun
that moment with April was a moment of abandonment who's just letting go of all
the stuff that's around us and just being together
I feel content being the ocean with Tim is like a dream
kind of feel like he's a Greek god and if I look I gotta turn the stones though
I can't can't be caught looking I have to do it through me err subtly I don't
know
I would have rather played volleyball then watched him frolic in the ocean
with April watching other people right in front of you build chemistry just
sucks it was great to blow off some steam but
the second I get out of the water I just get hit with incredible tension this is
not how I wanted this day to go we're all here for the same reason and that is
to fall in love it's obvious that what I'm doing isn't working and I need to
make some drastic changes if I want that to turn around
I don't have a lot of time and I know I've said that a lot but it really is
weighing on my mind for that reason
for people not to will be going home today today today I need to spend time
with people that there's a connection with next week and I don't feel like I
can do that if there's that many people here I haven't spent enough time with
him I don't know I'm like I'm intrigued or I'm interested and I want to spend
more time with him but I don't know if he feels the same way about me tonight
it's just not gonna be very fun you don't get a bad feeling you know and
you're sort of sure nobody could believe it I'm really shocked to hear that four
girls are going home I don't know if what happened today between Tim and
myself hindered me or connected us more
you