He's-- he's smart, he's sweet, he's funny.
We had a wonderful first meeting.
I see incredible potential here.
So all systems are go?
Based on the initial personality assessment,
I think that I can have your son moved out of this house
And living on his own by June 15th.
(exclaiming) hallelujah!
Well, you know, you'd be amazed at how many adult children
Are still living at home.
Now, it's my opinion that the root cause is a lack of self-esteem.
Oh, oprah talks about that all the time.
Oprah don't know crap!
Heck, when I was growin' up, nobody had self-esteem,
And we turned out fine.
You're a rock, al.
You make me a better woman.
Look, many young men who should be able to move out, simply can't.
It's called "failure to launch."
And that's where I come in.
Young men develop self-esteem best during a romantic relationship,
So I simulate one.
We have a memorable meeting.
We get to know each other over a few casual meals,
He helps me through an emotional crisis,
Then I meet his friends,
If he has any,
Uh, then I let him teach me something...
But the bottom line is, he bonds with me.
He lets go of you. He moves out.
But how do you make sure that he'll fall in love with you?
You look nice, you find out what they like,
And then you pretend to like it, too.
That is pretty much how it works.
(chuckling)
What about sex?
Al, I never have sex with a client.
Besides, I need to keep tripp motivated,
And let's face it, after men have sex...
(groaning)
Is there anything that we need to do?
Well, for starters, you could make life a little more difficult for him.
You know, uh, more chores, more responsibilities, that kind of thing.
I just think you should know that tripp has had some rough breaks.
I promise you, when this is over,
Tripp is going to be an independent,
Self-sufficient adult.