>> ANGRY NERD: Bah! Animated holiday specials make me feel like I was bitten by a radioactive
humbug!
I explain why on this week's episode of Angry Nerd!
A year ago, I gushed about how Shane Black's profane Christmastime action movies always
made my Yuletide totally freaking awesome.
Many thanks to Sparda Kurkov and JaxxonnEerie and everyone else who commented on that video!
But this year, the endless parade of sickly-sweet holiday cartoons that started airing around
the clock the day after Thanksgiving has preempted my regularly scheduled good mood.
I feel like I'm living in a Hallmark card!
Worst of all, I just learned that Toy Story That Time Forgot,
a reunion special featuring all of the original cast, which I'd been so looking forward to…
is going to be holiday themed.
Pixar, what hath you wrought?
Humbug, I say!
Holiday specials can kiss my Rankin/Bass!
>> GHOST : Nerd… Nerd…
>> ANGRY NERD: Do my eyes deceive me? A visitation from an otherworldly spirit... whose sounds
just like TV's Chris Hardwick!
>> GHOST : Actually, he was unavailable.
>> ANGRY NERD: What?!
>> ANGRY NERD: I was told that we were going to get Hardwick to guest star.
>> GHOST : Hey! Beggars can't be choosers, tubby!
>> GHOST : I usually hear that my voice resembles Hal Lublin. You know, from Thrilling Adventure
Hour?
>> ANGRY NERD: Yeah! Yeah! Awesome! Hardwick is dead to me.
>> GHOST :Enough about that! An insufferable grump you have been!
>> GHOST : Prove to you the error of your ways, I shall!
>> ANGRY NERD: Wait. Are you a spirit, or are you Yoda?
>> GHOST : I am the Ghost of Christmas Specials Past, here to show you that holiday-themed
cartoons can be totally awesome and geek-friendly.
>> ANGRY NERD: Really. What does the least convincing spectral presence this side of
Ghost Dad possibly have to teach me about televison?
>> GHOST : Let me take you back in time to 1985.
>> ANGRY NERD: Wait! Is that-- Is that He-Man and She-Ra: A Christmas Special? I found its
message inspiring as a child. And I searched in vain for a He-Man-in-a-Santa-costume toy!
Curse you, Mattel!
>> CARTOON KID : Thank you Mister Skeletor! You are very kind!
>> ANGRY NERD: If even Skeletor can learn to love the holidays, then maybe I-- no! Your
nostalgia powers will not work on me, spirit! Don't even bother trying to show me “G.I.
Joe: Cobra Claws are Coming to Town.”.
>> GHOST : Okay then, what about this?
The Tick Christmas episode! With an army of faux Kris Kringles! Oh man, I wore out my
VHS copy of this!
>> GHOST : Is this putting you in the holiday spirit?
No! No! I stand by my humbug! That Tick special aired a long time ago! No new cartoons can
live up to that!
>> GHOST : Oh really? What about….
>> ANGRY NERD: These cartoons taught me that whether we get our presents from Chanukah
Zombie or Kwanzaa Bot,
>> ANGRY NERD: we must never forget the reason for the season:
>> ANGRY NERD: protecting yourself from evil Robot Santa.
>> GHOST : Or this?
>> ANGRY NERD: “A Very Venture Christmas!” With Santa's demon friend Krampus!
>> GHOST : You see now, Nerd? Even this Toy Story That Time Forgot special will touch
you..
>> GHOST : Check out the warlike Battlesaurs, which are a parody of the action figures that
you used to love.
>> GHOST : When you knew love.
>> ANGRY NERD: Spirit, my heart has grown three sizes.
>> ANGRY NERD: I want to share the good cheer of the season with characters I've come to
love!
>> GHOST : That's why these special episodes work.
>> GHOST : Over time, we come to think of these familiar characters as a sort of a family.
>> GHOST : The holidays are a time to reflect on our lives with the Venture Brothers, with
the Tick, or with the Toy Story gang…
>> GHOST : Because the stories, while silly, actually do give our lives a kind of meaning
>> GHOST : and a reminder of values that only superheroes, science fiction, and stop-motion
reindeer can convey.
>> ANGRY NERD: So you're saying… people should spend the holidays with their fictional
TV families?
>> GHOST : No, that's not what I--
>> ANGRY NERD: Because that's a really good point.
>> GHOST : Look, you still have to-
>> ANGRY NERD: Hey, enough. I got it. I got it.
>> ANGRY NERD: Go bust yourself, ghost. I have some TV to watch.
>> ANGRY NERD: And to you, my loyal Nerdlings, I say: Happy holidays!
>> ANGRY NERD: Even you, Michael Bay.
>> ANGRY NERD: What are your most favorite and least favorite holiday specials?
Let me know in the comments, and subscribe to the Wired channel!
Here's a philsophical dilemma for you: Is Nightmare Before Christmas a Halloween special?
Or is it a Christmas special?
I go back and forth on that…
The bulk of the film takes place after Halloween, in the run-up to Christmas, but it's so goth-looking
and dark...
Let me know what you think in the comments.
Also, remember when Jack finds that row of Holiday Doors,
and one of them lead to Valintines Day Town, and others lead to Independence Day Town and
Saint Patrick's Day Town?
Don't you think that Henry Selick should make a series of stop motion features about Jack
invading each of those other towns?
Man, a movie about Halloween Town taking over Thanksgiving Town would be NAUSEATING!
But I'd watch it.
What do you think?