hello there but today we're going to
talk about the topic of sex I treated
about a week and a half to two weeks ago
and I asked you guys to send me some of
your questions that you may have on this
topic I know that sex is something that
is very personal and I don't want anyone
to feel like they have to put their
information on blast that's why I
created an email so you guys are able to
send me your questions through there
everything is going to be anonymous no
names are going to be mentioned I'm just
going to answer questions that most of
you asked and questions that I think
will give you guys a lot of information
about this topic so yeah this video is
actually made in collaboration with
Bayer and its partners or their it's
your life it's your future campaign so
this week is actually a world
contraception week this campaign is here
to encourage people to find a
contraception method that works for them
and to encourage people to feel
comfortable in their sexuality and for
us to live in a world where every
pregnancy is wanted on the website in
your life calm you guys can find more
information about different options that
are available and they also have a
section called hashtag a friend of mine
this section is basically a section
where people can go on there and share
their experiences their stories
anonymously or you can even ask on
behalf of a friend alright so there is a
lot of stuff I need to talk about in
this video so I'm just gonna get started
it's gonna get personal and I hope that
you guys feel comfortable with this I
hope this is just a space for us sisters
to join together and talk about things
that may be uncomfortable to talk about
with other people so let's just jump
right in to the first question
hey Whaley I'm in a little situation
here my ex and I broke up about a year
ago
and we were together for over a year and
we've known each other for over three
years
we still have sex a lot I care about him
a lot and it's to the point where I
can't imagine having
excellent anybody else key is not my
first and we don't kiss at all I've
tried and he did not kiss me back do you
think that's too intimate for him am i a
booty call am I just making it worse for
myself I don't think he cares about me
please answer this I can't tell you
whether or not he treats y'all a booty
call but if that is what you're feeling
I think it's really important for you to
just talk to him I know this is
something that is scary and you may have
thoughts of where am I gonna lose him
over this what is gonna happen I think
there has to be a time where you just
sit down and talk to him not over text
not over a phone call tell him your
feelings
ask him where do you guys even stand
does he see himself getting back
together with you is he seeing other
people just ask him all the questions
that you have been having and I'm sure
you have many many questions for him and
I think another question that is really
important that you gotta ask yourself is
what do you want do you want to stay
with him is he's someone that you see
yourself with are you happy just being
someone that he has sex with or do you
want to be more than that but I must say
no one should ever feel just unwanted I
mean go with your gut but nonetheless I
would still talk to him get his response
because hey maybe he just has trouble
expressing himself maybe he's going
through some things as well so he's just
acting a little standoffish who knows
you will never know until you ask so
girl put on your big-girl panties build
up that courage and go talk to him which
hole does the penis actually go in
wouldn't it feel uncomfortable or hurt
all right girl so this is actually my
biggest question there are two holes all
right there is your peel and then there
is your vagina if you wear a tampon that
is the same hole that the penis will go
in but if you're looking down at
yourself right now the first hole you
will see or what you can't see you but
the first hope you will feel that is
your pee hole that is where your urine
comes out of and there right behind that
is your vagina so that is the hole that
the penis would go inside of I mean as
long as you're lubricated you really
should not be feeling like an
excruciating amount of pain you will
feel a bit of pressure but at the same
time you should not
views pressure with pain like if it is
extremely painful and it just does not
feel right that I was saying he might
have to go get it checked out have heard
stories from other people where they're
having sex and it's really painful and
after they go to the doctor they find
out that something's actually wrong so
just make sure you get that checked out
if you do feel a huge amount of pain
that is just not really like the normal
my boyfriend and I have been dating for
about two and a half weeks now
after being friends in high school for
four years and getting to know each
other better over the summer we haven't
hit fourth base yet but we are at three
I feel like two and a half weeks is
really early to have sex in a serious
relationship he's fine with taking it at
my pace but I feel a little
self-conscious knowing that everyone in
college is doing it and knowing he wants
to do it I keep telling myself that the
right moment will come but when will I
know how long does someone typically
wait and do most girls regret their
first time I don't want it to be casual
and over it I want it to be special and
memorable I know exactly what you're
feeling because I do not lose my
virginity until my college years and
even when I was in college people are
like what you're still a virgin and I
just felt so much pressure where I
thought like okay am I like living under
a rock or something it might be posted
on your virgin you should not ever feel
pressured you should not even let the
fact that people are already having sex
and that you're still a virgin be
something that makes you feel insecure
and girl if he wants to take it at your
own pace and when you're comfortable he
is a keeper honey I mean if he's not
pressuring you at all why even think
about it you guys have only been
together for about two and a half weeks
and there is just so much more to think
about in a relationship than sex I mean
you guys are at the stage where it
should be a celsuis you guys should be
going on all these dates getting to know
each other staying on the phone till the
morning I mean FaceTime it all the time
good morning text and all that good
stuff I mean there's just so much to
just like be excited for right now then
weren't about sex like sex is something
that will come naturally and it seems
like this guy really respects you and
maybe you're thinking that that's what
he wants because in your mind you're
like worried about it but maybe he's not
even thinking about that maybe he's just
wanting to get to know you and as for
when you will be ready honestly I was
really worried that I would never
know what I'm gonna be ready when I lost
our virginity it was the most like
natural thing that happened there was no
pressure it just kind of happened when
we were having cuddle sesh
knowing the right moment is when you
feel like I'm not going to regret this
I feel comfortable and this is what I
want right now also since it is the
first time you're having sex or actually
even if you're someone who has had sex
before it is very important to make sure
that you go to the doctor and get
checkups regularly sex is not just sex
it's not just what the media or maybe
your friends and people around you are
portraying it at it is something where
you really do need to be responsible and
know the facts before you get yourself
into it I can't even tell you how many
times people have told me stories where
they assumed that their partner is STD
free and clean but which they actually
were not and also another thing you
should know is that condoms are the only
method that would prevent you from STI
infections and HIV before you have sex
both you and your partner go get tested
and make sure you guys are ready for it
if your partner doesn't agree with going
to get tested with you then girl you
should really think about who you win
what do you do when you aren't confident
about your body but you're being
pressured into sex I love you I love you
too my sister you should not feel
pressured into having sex if you are you
need a run the other direction stop
talking to that person because no one
should ever be pressured into it as for
not feeling confident in your body I
mean just because the media is
portraying what is an ideal body and
what is perfect and what is sexy doesn't
mean that that is the definition of
being sexy and beautiful but let me just
say if you're with the right person they
will love your body for whatever it it
we should all learn to love ourselves
instead of just pointing everything out
and picking at ourselves I'm at the
stage of my relationship where me and my
boyfriend are both ready for sex however
it'll be the first time for both of us
I have heard about the pullout method is
that really reliable enough we want to
be safe and well protected how did you
go about getting info about birth
control and what was the process if you
are looking into getting birth control
go to the doctor up and talk to them
let them know your lifestyle and I'm
pretty sure they would be able to lay
out all the options and tell you what
kind of methods there are out there and
see which one works best for your
lifestyle well you should talk to your
doctor I think it's very important for
you to talk to your partner as well make
sure he is also educated about all the
different methods out there and which
one you will be taking as well and ask
for the pull out method
cunnin the pull out method is probably
the least effective method and I really
do not suggest people to do that
that is really putting yourself at risk
of becoming pregnant I mean there are so
many different options for birth control
that the pullout method really should
not even be a method because I just feel
it with the pullout method you're
constantly worrying about it so you want
to know more about different types of
methods that you can use you can either
go talk to your doctor or you can also
check out your life comm there's a lot
of information about that kind of stuff
your opinion are condoms good enough on
their own as birth control method or is
it absolutely necessary for the girl to
take a type of birth control as well
such as the pill the patch IUD and etc
but I've been on my birth control pills
for about four years now and it has
worked great for me it's very effective
for me and I know a lot of people that
just use condoms as their main birth
control method and condoms are proven to
be 98% effective if you are using them
correctly to prevent you from STI
infections and HIV I would say keep in
mind that accidents can happen I've
actually had a friend who gotten
pregnant because the condom slipped off
and I've heard stories where the condom
was broken that's my only thing with
just using a condom I feel it could be a
little risky I would have to say that
condoms are still way way way way way
more effective than the withdrawal
method and also another thing to keep in
mind is that you can still get pregnant
if you're having sex during your period
also another method that I hear people
use is the counting your fertile days
method that method is also highly
unpredictable because you just you
honestly never really know so I wouldn't
rely on that method either sex is not
just about reproduction it should be fun
and it should be pleasurable and having
safe sex will just make it that much
more enjoyable if you're constantly
having to worry about am I going to get
pregnant or am I going to get an STI
infection that is
that really takes away from the
experience so just make sure that you
are protected and are being safe I mean
personally for me and I'm sure a lot of
people feel this way as well
there is a time in place where we would
want to get not we but like you know
that's a woman would want to get
pregnant have a kids start a family and
if right now is just not the time for
you definitely is important for you to
just be educated about it and be able to
have a safe and enjoyable sex I'm in a
relationship with my dream boy since
about three months and we can't keep our
hands off each other have you got a tip
on how we can sleep with each other
during my period and do we need to be
protected during that time if you really
are just in the mood during your period
and you must have sex with each other I
would say the best way and the cleanest
way is to do it in the shower because at
least is not getting all over the sheets
just make sure that you are on some type
of birth control method and make sure
that you are using a condom does safer
sex mean I can do it without protection
or what exactly is it so having safe sex
means that you are taking all the
precautions and getting educated about
it before you go into having sex for
example knowing all the different
methods out there and what works best
for your body and also getting both
yourself and your partner to the doctor
to get tested to make sure that you guys
are ready and safe to have sex I know in
this video I keep telling you guys to go
to the doctor get tested be safe but I
am so serious about this like sex is not
just what the media talks about I mean
I'm not a doctor I can't tell you
everything about it I mean even till now
I feel like there's more for me to learn
so that is why I'm suggesting that
anyone who plans on being sexually
active or are sexually active should go
and see a doctor how can I tell if I'm
fertile are there any body signs I can
simply read as far as protecting your
fertile days there really is not a very
effective way on predicting it I did a
little bit of research for you there's
not actually any body signals that your
body would get to let you know when
you're ovulating so predicting your
fertile days is really not like super
effective and there's really not
something that your body will tell you
like hey did you know that sperm can
live in your body for up to six days
even if your cycle is pretty regular the
timing of your fertile window can be
very very unpredictable
yeah I really wouldn't count on that
method but instead find something else I
would work better alright so those were
the 10 questions that I've picked out of
the emails that you guys sent me there
was a ton and I know that I probably
didn't get back to some of you guys's
questions but I try to combine some of
the questions with other questions and
always kind of like more inclusive
hopefully that was helpful I mean this
like the first time I ever got this
personal in a video and talked about all
this kind of stuff again whenever I talk
about this kind of stuff I really really
must let you guys know that I am no
doctor obviously I am just a youtuber
and yo system the best way for you to
get any type of information is talk to
someone that is profession now such as
your doctor or you can check on your
life comm to just get a little bit more
information and if you guys would like
to share a story be sure to use the
hashtag a friend of mine so that is all
for today and I will see you all in my
next one ba I'm in control
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