You guys already know how much we love our villains, and that certainly extends to Illumination
and their wide array of baddies.
But for as fun as it can be to watch these guys do their evil thing, it can also be just
as satisfying to see them get their just desserts - and that's what we're doing today.
I'm Brad with WickedBinge, and this is Sentencing Illumination Villains Part 1.
With just how many Illumination films - and villains- there are, we won't be able to touch
on all of them in this video.
Instead, we're only going to be focusing on the studio's first four films: Despicable
Me, Hop, The Lorax, Despicable me 2.
If you'd like us to touch on Illumination's other villains, let us know and we'll do a
part two!
Starting off we have the bad guy turned dad, Gru.
For as much Gru was able to redeem himself and change for the better for the sake of
his new daughters, he was still quite the menace to society in the first Despicable
Me.
He was able to steal several fairly noteworthy items during his villain career, including
the Times Square Jumbo-tron, two landmark replicas from Las Vegas and an experimental
shrinking device, as well as the moon, even if he did return that one after a few hours.
Gru also committed several counts of Trespassing when he tried to break into Vector's lair.
The final time he did this also included a bit of property damage and the punching of
a Shark.
Probably his worst crime, however, was freezing a bunch of people just so he wouldn't have
to wait in line at a coffee shop, which easily counts as Assault since we're sure this minor
attack still resulted in quite a bit of frostbite.
As bad as these crimes are though, we're able to cut Gru just a bit of slack thanks to his
redemption as well as the work he does for the Anti Villain League starting in Despicable
Me 2.
He can't go completely unpunished, however, so we feel a year of jail time and an additional
500 hours of community service to go alongside his AVL work should be plenty.
CRIMES: Serial theft, Trespassing, Assault and Battery
SENTENCE: 1 year of jail time + 500 hours of community service
Following him is Gru's very own personal scientist, Dr. Nefario.
Now, Nefario is an interesting one in that he's not exactly a bad guy, but outside of
his scenes in the second Minions movie, he's not that great of a guy either.
After all, he aids Gru and later El Macho with their villainous schemes.
With the latter, Nefario actually did a lot of the dirty work, being the one to kidnap
the Minions.
We also have to touch on how irresponsible Nefario can often be with his experiments
in his old age, using Minions as his test subjects and seemingly not caring too much
when things go wrong.
He doesn't even bother to make sure his lab is safe and secure, like closing the lab's
window before he tests a chemical that makes you float.
Whether it's out of true malice or just forgetfulness, it's still an issue.
He also doesn't seem too remorseful about essentially dooming the world when he teams
up with El Macho, only regretting it when he sees that its putting Gru and his family
in danger.
But again, it's a case of the character redeeming themself, so we feel Nefario could get away
with a lighter sentence - that being 6 months in jail and a small fine of $500,000, to pay
for any damage he might have caused with his experiments.
CRIMES: Aiding and Abetting, Irresponsible Experimentation, Kidnapping
SENTENCE: 6 months in jail + Fine of $500,000
Moving onto our first true baddie, next is the one and only Vector.
Being a true villain, it's only natural that he has a long list of bad deeds - starting
with the Smuggling of the great pyramid of Egypt into the US.
We also can't forget the actual theft of the pyramid, nor can we overlook all the animal
cruelty charges he'd likely get, thanks to all his sea creature weapons.
Finally, at the end of the film, we see Vector kidnap the girls in the hopes of extorting
their father, putting them in a TON of danger with his recklessness.
He even purposely tries to trap Margo on his ship for the sake of pettiness, leading to
her nearly falling to her death.
For all of these crimes, we're giving him a sentence of 15 years.
He doesn't do quiiiite enough to earn a higher penalty, but we do feel like his grand theft
and lack of concern over both animals and children easily earn him over a decade in
jail.
CRIMES: Smuggling, Landmark Theft, Kidnapping, Extortion, Animal cruelty, Child endangerment.
SENTENCE: 15yrs in jail
Finishing up our first movie's villains, we're going to go over Miss Hattie's crimes next.
Although not a villain technically, it can't be denied that she is a terrible person.
All her crimes relate back to the treatment of the orphan children she takes care of - from
forcing them to sell cookies, to shoving them into a cardboard box for hours at a time whenever
they anger her, to just straight up telling girls that they'll never get adopted.
At the very least, she doesn't seem to cross any physical lines, though that's a pretty
low bar to clear.
Still, she more than deserves to lose her Orphanage, even if she still provided the
bare minimum of care.
So, we're going to revoke her license to run an Orphanage, and we're going to charge her
with a $100,000 fine for good measure.
It may not be the worst fate out there, as again she doesn't quite do enough to get any
major amount of jail time, but it'll still give this wicked stepmother wannabe her just
desserts.
CRIMES: Child Labor, Child Neglect, Emotional Abuse
SENTENCE: $100,000 fine + Loss of Orphanage License
Shifting focus to 'Hop', we have the maniacal chick, Carlos.
One of the more sympathetic villains from Illumination, that's for sure.
But while we do feel bad for him, we just can't excuse him attempting to usurp the Easter
Bunny.
Not when this would have involved killing the previous heads of the Easter holiday,
and certainly not when it would have led to him giving kids all over the globe easter
baskets full of seeds and worms.
When he decides to put his coup into action, Carlos not only imprison Fred and Mr. Bunny,
but he also tries to murder them by lowering them into a vat of boiling candy.
Thaaaat could have been a very messy and very painful end.
Murder and attempting to overthrow any sort of regime - regardless of whether or not it's
connected to a holiday - are some of the worst crimes someone could commit as far as the
law is concerned.
For this, we have no choice but to give Carlos the death sentence.
This will be done by lethal injection, and given that he's an animal, we suppose it technically
counts as euthanasia.
CRIMES: Unlawful Imprisonment, Attempted usurpation, Attempted murder
SENTENCING: Death by Euthanasia
Since Carlos wasn't working completely alone, we have to give a quick mention to his lieutenant,
Phil.
While not exactly 'evil' or even really that malicious, Phil still does what many henchmen
before him have done and aids his fellow chick in his attempts to throw a coup.
We could argue, however, that this 'aiding' is simply helping him physically train for
the job of Easter Chick, leading the egg sleigh once Carlos takes over, and not doing anything
to discourage Carlos from overthrowing the Easter Bunny family.
Overall, Phil does the bare minimum needed to be considered a so-called villain, to the
point where E.B.
has no issues with naming him as the factory's new Head Chick.
This just about aligns with what we feel would be a suitable sentence, that being 200 hours
of Easter Island community service.
We're sure that Phil won't mind too much, so long as he can dance while he works.
CRIMES: Aiding and Abetting SENTENCE: 200 hours of community service.
After them, we have our Lorax villains, starting with The Once-Ler.
For the record, none of the crimes we're about to mention have anything to do with the chaos
that the Once-ler or his fangirls caused online a few years back.
Instead, we're going to focus on his environmental crimes, these being the heavy amount of pollution
caused by his factories that impacted the land, air AND river, and the deforestation
that he pushed for the sake of his thneed products.
We're also going to consider this reckless endangerment given how much his pollution
production affected the health of others - including the creatures who lived in the Truffula forest,
which qualifies as second-hand animal cruelty.
For his crimes against the environment, we're charging Mr. Once-ler and his company with
a $100 million fine.
He did what he did for money, after all, so it only seems appropriate for him to lose
all that money in the end.
CRIMES: Pollution, Deforestation, Second-Hand Animal cruelty, Reckless endangerment
SENTENCING: $100 million fine
Moving on, it's time to talk about Aloysius O'Hare.
While the pollution that O'Hare creates isn't as devastating as the Once-ler's, it still
has its own effects both short term and long term.
And hey, that's just the tip of the iceberg.
Even more noteworthy is how he abuses his power, making himself rich and using his resources
to stalk and spy on those he thinks will negatively affect his bottom line.
This ends up leading to the blackmailing and threatening of a minor, which just isn't a
good look.
He also tries to destroy the last Truffula seed in existence, which could be considered
to be a pretty devastating crime, and that's not even including the fact that he literally
chases down two minors and an elder.
All in all, we feel that he deserves at least 5 years in jail for all his sketchy behavior
that robbed his citizens of their privacy, plus a $10 million fine for his crimes against
the environment.
CRIMES: Embezzlement, Abuse of power, Stalking, Pollution, Blackmail, Threatening a minor
SENTENCING: $10 million + 5 years in jail
For our final villain of this video, it's the infamous El Macho.
Even if we exclude all of the bank robbing and property damage he did back in his heyday,
he still has the longest list of crimes so far.
Regarding his plan involving the Minions, this was of course an act of mass kidnapping
and brainwashing.
We also have all the terrorism that he planned on committing with his rabid Minions, as well
as the terror he caused for Gru and the girls, hoping to prevent them from stopping his plans
for world domination.
Finally, he attempts to kill both Gru and Lucy - the former by simply fighting him,
and the latter by chaining her to a rocket set to fly into a volcano.
All of these crimes earn El Macho the death penalty, specifically by hanging.
We might have tried to go with lethal injection instead, but given that El Macho is able to
drink snake venom with no trouble at all, we aren't sure if injection would even work
on him.
So, to the gallows we go.
CRIMES: Theft, Mass brainwashing + kidnapping, Terrorism, Attempted murder, Attempted world
domination SENTENCING: Death by hanging.
But let us know in the comment section if you agree with our choices.
And tell us what we should cover next.
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But most importantly, stay wicked.