I'm Adrienne Everheart I'm a feminine energy dating and relationship coach and
in this video i'm going to talk about anxious attachment styles there
are a lot of attachment styles and one of them most women have is this
anxious attachment style i'm going to talk about exact things that you can do
to help with your anxious attachment style
ways that you can actually activate your feminine energy so that you're not
feeling all that nervousness and anxiousness and pressure and worry
and it actually ends up sabotaging your relationship i'm also going to talk
about femme diamond which was a five day class
i helped it also comes with my diamond girl guide primer e-books
and you also get a pursuer and distancer handout in the class and it's really
going to help you if you have anxious attachment styles so if you're
new to my channel please take a moment and hit subscribe
and if this video helps you at the end please do give me a thumbs up and of
course i'd love to hear from you in the comments section
so let's get started
first let's talk about what anxious attachment style is
this is a term that's given to a person who has a lot of nervousness and anxiety
and distress when they are alone or single it typically
affects women much more than it does men and of course hormones might really play
a part in this as well as just the expectations a woman
can put on herself to be married or to have children and
have everything all sorted and figured out
at a particular age or place in life and when we aren't at that
settled place where we absolutely know everything is going good we can have
this anxious attachment style really surface and the
reality is is that even uh the most secure
of marriages can sometimes end love can change in fact all relationships
do end even in death one partner will leave the other partner
so part of anxious attachment style is just really
dealing with the nervousness and the anxious thoughts that keep coming up in
our mind again this can affect women mostly it
might be hormonal but worry not i'm going to teach you
some really basic feminine energy tools and psychology tools
that are going to help you get past this anxious attachment style
women who suffer with anxious attachment styles
are kind of constantly worried about their relationship status
like how are things going how are things feeling and working out is my partner
happy with me they might need a lot of validation
a good morning text every day letting that person know i'm here for you
i'm not abandoning you everything is good between
us and another thing that can begin to happen with anxious attachment style
is that you'll begin to misread or read into any sort of subtle little
change your partner may have or or show you
and you begin to notice just very small things your partner
did or did not say and you begin to cycle it through your your thought and
your worry and your mind and begin to kind of obsess about this
and it really has a snowball effect in your life
it just grows and grows and grows until you are so anxious that you're living
in that world of anxiety instead of the world of your relationship
now when you're in an anxious attachment style
sort of thinking and way of being in your life
i first want you to understand that this is a label this is some words
that you know some very talented psychologists have put together
to label different types of people in relationships but i want you to
understand this it is just a word it is just a title it does not
mean that you have to be this way the rest of
your life or that you are doomed to always have this anxious attachment
style in fact one of the things i really get people to do
with feminine energy is kind of let go of labels
labeling things and really having terms for them
i feel like is much more masculine energy whereas feminine energy is
i'm in my body this is what i'm feeling this is what i'm experiencing now people
who do have anxious attachment style and they feel
like that really represents who they are sometimes hang on to relationships that
aren't healthy for them such as abusive relationships or
relationships that really aren't going anywhere
because they're too afraid to be alone they're too
scared of being alone or who will take care of them or will that person be with
them they have this you know anxiety about being separated
from that person and a lot of this stems to abandonment
issues i was completely unaware that i had
suffered abandonment from my dad at a very young age
um even though you know he was kind of in and out of my life some
there were moments of just you know treating me as if i were a grown up
hanging up the phone on me doing terrible things like not talking to me
for an entire year it can be so difficult for a child to
understand when they have an unhealthy parent
no one really comes to you and says hey i think that your parent
is suffering from this illness or that illness or whatever it may be
or maybe they just were a big fat jerk to you and
you have a hard time processing it because this is all you've known these
are the people who brought you into the world
and you just sort of inherently can sometimes love them and want to trust
them and make that relationship work so i
believe this kind of gets carried over into that abandonment issues and this
nervous attachment style because when that man does turn his back
on us and walk away it triggers daddy issues
and i know that that's a term i really don't like that term but a lot of this
that we're struggling with men is really leftover issues from a parent
where we're still trying to learn how to fix that relationship
that wounded inner child is trying to figure out how can i make this person
love me what do i need to do what do i need to say how do i need to
be what is it i need to do to make them love me
and then sometimes when we do have their love
there's a saboteur on board who's picking apart
everything they're doing if they don't call at the right time if they don't ask
you the right questions if they don't understand your love
language i mean we can end up finding all these flaws in our partner
just so we can sabotage the relationship and get what it is we really want which
is no one's ever going to stick around and
love us until the end this is the great empowering thing about
feminine energy feminine energy is where you come first
you and your inner girl your inner wounded child
and the adult you all come together you begin to notice when you're in your
body and when you're not worried about titles or phrases or the hot
psychological term of the year i want you to instead just what am i
feeling really in my body and how can i be there for me
one of the greatest things you can say to yourself is
i love you and i hear you whatever part of you is talking the part of you that
is dreaming up all these possible scenarios
that can go wrong or everything the bad that's ever
happened to you i love you and i hear you but i'm the adult i'm
doing the talking and i will never abandon you
be able to say that to yourself i will never abandon you
we will be together until the very very end i can promise you that
you will be with you until the end so let's make peace with her and stop
looking for other people outside of you to make you
feel whole and complete everything you need
is with within of course a relationship
complements your life and it's someone to walk into the sunset with
and have companionship with but this work
begins and ends with how you feel and that starts with how you feel about
yourself how much you are loving yourself
self-soothing and being there for you wounded child's
thoughts can be like a runaway train where you're having negative thought
after negative thought after negative thought and it just keeps going
this feeds into that anxious attachment style
you have to be able to stop and use your senses
what am i seeing what am i feeling and sensing
what am i hearing what am i even tasting i want you to
reconnect with your body through your senses
and begin to develop this other identity that you have within you this strong
powerful diamond girl powerful dynamite woman
you have it within you we just have to reconnect you to it
and it's something that you had when you were a child you can remember
feeling powerful and good at certain ages feeling
smart and in your body connected with nature
i know you can if you can go back you'll remember
those times and all we're doing is reconnecting you
to that powerful feminine energy that is your birthright
and it's always there waiting for you in addition to getting in touch with your
senses what you're feeling tasting sensing
hearing this will really help you disconnect from those rampant thoughts
that lead to anxious attachment style sort of thinking
i want you to also begin to trust the universe i want you to have an outlook
that everything is always working out for me
i don't know how it does i don't know how it happens
but i always land on my feet and everything is always working out for
me and i want you to trust trust trust that
everything is unfolding exactly the way it needs to be unfolding
for you you have to trust that it's when we get
inside and we start tinkering with other
people's karma and other people's outcomes and trying
to manipulate the outcome in effect masculine energy when you
begin controlling how things will end
that's when you end up kind of screwing yourself in my opinion
because when you begin to control it and tinker with it
you're actually forcing your own agenda and forcing your own outcome
get in touch with your senses find out what you're feeling
and then go to your inner adult not your wounded child
not your anxious attachment style not your even your
inner girl but really the adult you and ask yourself
what's really the best thing for me right now what do i
really need right now we are grounding you
in your own identity not a specific outcome now this next thing i really had
no idea i was doing it but my mom once said to me about my first husband
she said you've got him on such a pedestal and at first i was like mom no
i don't he's not on a pedestal but really i did have my guy on a
pedestal i had some sort of expectation that he
was just always supposed to say the right things
for me do the right things be there for me never mess up
you know all these expectations and beliefs that's what it means to have
someone on a pedestal it doesn't mean that you're worshiping them
it means that you just think that they are
infallible that they're supposed to be some way to you
that no human can possibly be and again this is where i think your inner
saboteur is on board just tinkering with people having people
as projects wanting specific outcomes instead of i'm
going to accept a person as they are so when that man is on a
pedestal and he doesn't do exactly what we wanted exactly the way
we preferred it to have happen we kind of lose it we cause distress in
our relationships and he picks up on that
energy or worse we begin to do and say things that we later regret
so don't have your guy on a pedestal he's a human just like you
if you want him to roll with you on your bad days and you know what i'm talking
about you got to be willing to roll with him
on his bad days now these next two tips are things that i really talk a lot
about both in my book 500 ways to talk to a
man and in femme diamond i talked a little
bit about my femme classes it stands for feminine
energy mindset method i have a fin for dating
fem for marriage and femme diamond now a couple of the tools that i teach you in
this class is tap your heart and send him love
one of my most popular videos my first video i ever did on youtube
i introduced you to the power of tap your heart and send him love
so when your inner boy starts worrying and getting scared and feeling nervous
about how is this gonna go and missing your guy missing someone
missing opportunities i want you to think of all the love you have in your
heart for that person all the love that you really have and i
want you to put it right in your heart and then i
want you to tap your heart and feel that love and then send it to him
tap your heart send that person your love no matter
who they are or where they are missing them
worrying about them or fretting over the past
doesn't help you and it doesn't help them tap your heart
send them love i've had amazing things happen
when women have used this tool they have talked about how they tap their heart
and send a person love and they call the person calls or texts them within a
few minutes now i don't want you to do it to get a
result but i do if you do experience a miracle from
this please feel free to share in the
comments so women we naturally can do this we are
very very powerful manifesters when we get ourselves into alignment with
honesty and good values instead of control
manipulation and a specific desired outcome that
doesn't coincide with another person's cosmic karmic
journey we want you to feel and know and sense
eat sleep and breathe and taste and love the things that you
want in your life what you desire in your life and allow those things to come
to you instead of anxiously holding on to
whatever you can and trying to mold it into what you need
so that you will feel better so often when we're trapped in our masculine
energy and our boy energy the more we pursue the man the more he
distance himself from us the more we want to work on the relationship
the more he doesn't want to work on the relationship the more we
want to get love and attention the more he wants
time alone this is classic pursuer distancer and this is what i talk about
in my femme diamond class go deeper with that learn these tools so
you can naturally activate your own feminine energy which
will be an invitation to the man the man will want to come to you without
you having to manipulate or call him or text him to get him to
come to you you are an invitation you have it in
your energy trust me ladies this takes a little
practice but once you learn how to do it you will never look back and you will
love how wonderfully freeing it feels to be in your feminine energy
all right ladies well that wraps up this video so i want you to think about what
you can do to get into your own rich and full and juicy life remember
anxious attachment style is just a title to something it doesn't have to be who
you are anymore you can begin to change your energy
reacquaint yourself with the things you do have under control which is lovely
beautiful amazing you you have so many options for yourself
instead of controlling things outside of you and see if you don't
begin to feel better by connecting to your senses into what
you're actually experiencing in this moment so often we're running
from the moment and the truth is the moment usually
isn't that bad so i want you to try to ground yourself
be in that warm soft receiving feminine energy
be in the moment and as always look for the good that is around you
and see if that doesn't ease so much of that anxiety
and fear of abandonment that so many of us have suffered with
all right everybody thank you so much for tuning in
remember to hit subscribe if you haven't already and give me a thumbs up on this
video if you've enjoyed it i'd love to hear from you in the
comments section and hear how you've dealt with your own anxious
attachment style and how feminine energy is helping you
as well of course feel free to ask any questions you may have too
much loved you and i'll see you soon bye-bye