Burnie: Hey!
Burnie: What the hell are you guys doing?
Blaine: Oh, we're throwing away the old podcast set.
Aaron: And we're going to destroy it forever.
Burnie: Wha- why? I mean, it's still good!
Aaron: Nah, we gotta dump it.
Blaine: Yeah, old piece of shit.
Burnie: HEY! Wait!
Burnie: Alright, beat it!
Burnie: Go! Shoo shoo shoo. Get out of here. Go.
[Chewing noises]
Blaine: You know, I was thinking, I might get a pony.
Blaine: I looked it up online, they're only like $80.
Aaron: $80? That's really good!
Blaine: I know, right?
Blaine: The only downside is that there's a lot of meat, and my fridge is like really small so...
Aaron: I'll show you how to fit a pony in a freezer.
Blaine: Okay.
[Chewing continues]
Aaron: Hey, why was Burnie acting all weird earlier about that podcast set?
Blaine: I don't know, I was kinda concerned at first but it totally slipped my mind because it's Tuesday Ham.
Aaron: TuesHams.
Blaine: Yeah, TuesHams.
Aaron: We should probably check on him though.
Blaine: It's Tuesday Ham!
Blaine: Ugh! What is that smell?
Aaron: If Burnie died, he couldn't have rotted this quickly.
Blaine: Ugh good God! Aaron: What is all this shit?
Burnie: I'm trying to get some sleep here guys!
Aaron: For shame Burnie! You're a goddamn hoarderer!
Burnie: What?!
Burnie: What are you talking about?!
Aaron: I'm talking about all this shit!
Burnie: All this shit is my precious stuff Aaron!
Aaron: What do you need rotten pumpkins for?!
Burnie: Well, Halloween's only 11 months away! Who knows man?
Aaron: Nature Town volume 2, 3 and 4?
Burnie: Don't take those out of the package, come on.
Blaine: Oh my God! Is this fat?! Oh fuck!
Aaron: What the fuck Burnie?!
Blaine: Is this your fat?!
Burnie: Yeah Blaine!
Burnie: What happens if I need to put it back in? Huh?
Burnie: That's what Christian Bale does!
Aaron: Just because Christian Bale does it, doesn't mean you should too!
Burnie: [Batman voice] YES IT DOES!
Blaine: Is that human hair?
Burnie: Yeah! Yeah it's Jack's beard hair from Extra-Life.
Burnie: A very historic moment in the history of the company.
Burnie: See? It's still good! [Aaron & Blaine being grossed out]
Burnie: Here, try a bite. Blaine: Aw Jesus Christ!
Burnie: Back me up dude! Back me up!
Blaine: You gotta clean up all this crap, alright?
Burnie: WHAT? NO!
Aaron: When's the last time you used this Nathan?
Nathan: Hey.
Burnie: Hey Nathan.
Burnie: Well, you know... I mean we brought Marshall back after 3 years, right? Who knows?!
Blaine: Listen, Nathan is a human, alright? And that's kidnapping.
Blaine: And that's illegal!
Blaine: We need to throw him in the trash.
Burnie: Yeah but he's my stuff!
Aaron: He's not stuff Burnie. He's a human being!
Aaron: So I'm gonna throw him in the trash.
Burnie: *Inhuman sounds*
Burnie: Guys! All my things
Burnie: are what complete me! Right?
Blaine: Listen. I know what you're going through man.
Blaine: I know what it's like giving up things you love.
Blaine: I still love Flour Tortillas!
Blaine: But I gave them up because they had too many carbohydrates.
Blaine: So I switched to Burrito Bowls instead.
Blaine: And Burrito Bowls are...are just far less enjoyable.
Blaine: Anyways! Because I gave up the Flour Tortillas,
Blaine: I got these sick abs!
Blaine: And these sick abs, they're the real me.
Burnie: So, what you're saying is
Burnie: if I give up all my stuff, then I could discover the real me!
Burnie: And I would get sick abs too!
Blaine: No Burnie, you don't have what it takes to get sick abs like these.
Blaine: But yes to the first part.
Burnie: Well...
Burnie: OK.
Blaine: Guys, I think it's time to clean up.
Blaine: Get out of here Nathan!
Blaine: 1, 2 , 3, New York!
Burnie: We cleaned the office!
Burnie: I'm totally cured!
Burnie: I mean I don't know. It's only been like 10 seconds. But...
Burnie: This is sustainable for the rest of my life. It has to be!
Burnie: Yeah!
Blaine: What a great day! Burnie: Yeah!
Blaine: Oh man!
Burnie: Oh.
Burnie: Right.
Burnie: I forgot about this shit.
Blaine: Well Burnie, these are the new hires, we can't...we can't get rid of them.
Burnie: What? It just looks so cluttered with them here!
Burnie: I see that now!
Aaron: But they're just doing their jobs...
Burnie: No. No it's too much mess.
Burnie: I can't work with these...things!
Burnie: They gotta go.
*News Intro*
Reporter: Early today, police found dozens of bodies just outside of Rooster Teeth studios.
Reporter: The deceased items were believed to be new hires from the company who were taking up too much space.
CCO Barney Burns could be heavily fined for unlicensed dumping and littering.
Cameraman: Get the lights, I'm gonna shoot some more dead bodies and we can head out.
Reporter: Yep.
♪ Fabulous Music ♪