Last fall I saw my first Republican presidential debate.
And you know what they say-- you never forget your first.
And a certain someone... caught my eye.
Kentucky Senator Rand Paul.
Now, it... this is really true.
I know it seems like a joke,
but he seemed different from the others.
His voice was calm,
and some of his ideas seemed... good.
(laughter)
And his hair was...
indescribable.
Seeing him that night made me want to get with him
in a debate of my own.
But smaller, one-on-one. And tonight it's happening
on The Daily Show with Trevor Noah GOP Debate, Singles Night.
-(laughter) -So, ladies and gentlemen,
please welcome Senator Rand Paul.
-♪ ♪ -(cheering, applause)
-(cheering continues) -PAUL: Thank you.
(cheering, applause continue)
Thank you. Thank you.
-Man! -Welcome, Senator. So, let's get this debate...
-This is weird... -Hold on. I want to thank you first.
I mean, the thing is, is I was worried
I wasn't gonna make the debate, and I did,
-I made the debate! -I did this for you.
-I did this for... -I was this close
to being excluded, and you're gonna beam me right in.
-I would never... -You're gonna beam me right in, right?
This is... this is gonna be the greatest debate.
I feel it's so far. I'd rather sit like this with...
-Whew! -It's weird, because if I ask you questions, are you...
Why do you stand for the whole debate?
Why don't they let you guys sit? Can we get a chair?
I think... I mean, it's still a debate, but you can sit.
This is going to be serious, this isn't gonna be a joke-off,
'cause I wouldn't want to beat a comedian in a joke-off.
-No, no, no. I mean, this is.. -All right.
-this is serious, this is serious. -All right. All right.
And I wouldn't want to out-joke a Republican.
-(laughter) -Let's, uh... let's-let's sit.
-Let's sit over there. And... -All right. All right.
-Yeah, we can still... I mean, -All right.
it's still a debate. I mean, this is a little bit awk...
You know what? I mean, we might just loosen this up a little bit
if we just... oh...
just, oh...
Oh, what... oh, that's the finest Kentucky bourbon, sir.
-Oh, very nice. -Yeah, I'm sure you're familiar with that.
-Very nice. -And, uh, you know, every man has a secret stash.
I have some of my own over here.
I like to call it, um, Issues bourbon.
-(laughter) -That's a...
little blend they call War in the Middle East.
And, uh, what I wanted to do with you is have a conversation,
or play a little game.
-It is a drinking game. -It is a drinking game.
I mean, this is normal in Kentucky, I'm assuming.
I will... I will take a shot...
every time...
I feel like you're not answering my question.
(laughter)
Because in this instance,
I'm gonna represent the American public.
And you will represent Rand Paul.
And I will show you how painful it is
when politicians do not answer the question...
by taking a shot every single time.
I think this would be better, maybe, if I...
Oh, yeah, if you... yeah.
There we go. There we...
This is it. Yeah. This is it.
-(cheering, applause) -Ah. -This is it!
Okay.
This is a real debate. Let's shoot straight into it.
Senator Rand Paul,
every time I watch the debates, one thing is apparent
when it comes to the Republicans.
Everyone has to bomb the Middle East.
Everyone has to destroy ISIS at all costs.
Do you agree with this?
Well, I think the problem is, you know, you've heard
some of them say they're gonna make the sand glow,
they're gonna carpet-bomb things,
but the question is, is if you bomb civilian centers
and you kill civilians,
will there be more terrorists or less terrorists?
Now, I'm not saying we don't defend ourselves,
but I'm saying that we have to think
about what we do before we do it,
and we have to think about the ramifications of doing it.
I thought I'd be drinking already.
This is... this is going well. I'll take one anyway.
-All right. -(laughter, whooping, applause)
Okay. (groans) Okay. Ah.
This is kind of like your bachelor party
where they tell you, "Keep drinking, keep drinking,"
and they're not really drinking shots and you are.
-(Noah exhales) -(laughter)
Let's go with a... little blend called, um...
Economy.
(Noah groans)
This is interesting.
One thing I picked up about you from the very beginning
was that you said you wanted to deregulate.
In the shortest way possible, what does that mean?
It means that we have to compete with the rest of the world,
so we have taxes that are a burden,
-or a cost of doing business. -Yeah.
We also have regulations that are a cost of doing business.
We live in a global economy,
and so often people are lamenting,
"Oh, we're losing jobs overseas."
So if we make the regulatory burden too high
or the tax burden too high,
I think the consequence is... jobs are gone.
And, really, the people who feel the pain
of the jobs are the people who are the workers.
The owners really don't feel the pain,
because the owners can go wherever they want.
Are you saying no regulations, or are you saying
low regulations-- what does that mean?
Well, what I would say is, for example, here's a regulation.
The Clean Water Act says you cannot discharge pollutants
-Yes. -into a navigable stream.
Had I been there in the early '70s,
I would've voted for that-- you shouldn't be allowed.
You should go to jail if you dump benzene in the river.
-You're not allowed to dump chemicals in the river. -Okay.
You cannot pollute someone else's property
or someone else's water.
However, over time, we've now decided
that dirt is a pollutant and my backyard is a river.
I do object to that.
I think we've gone too far in interpreting things.
We put a guy in Mississippi in jail for ten years
for putting dirt on his own land.
We have 48 federal agencies that have SWAT teams.
I mean wear helmets, body armor, the works.
The Department of Education has a SWAT team.
I think that might be an indication we've gone too far.
Or it might be an indication
that the kids are bat (bleep) crazy.
But, I mean, we can look at it from different ways.
We got those student loans out. I mean, what would they do?
So, so, so okay, let's talk about it
from a tax point of view. I've heard you say
-you would like to implement a flat tax... -Right.
so everyone pays the same amount
-as a percentage across the board. -Right.
-Right. -How does that work out?
Because, I mean, some people would argue
that that's not fair because if you take away...
if you say the tax is 25%-- Warren Buffett losing 25%
of his money is not as... not as impactful on him
as a person who earns minimum wage losing 25% of his money.
Can we change the rules and every time we say Warren Buffett
you have to drink?
We can do that. I won't say it again.
-All right. -I'll just... -(laughter)
Um, no, I think that right now there are many wealthy people
in our country who pay no taxes.
There are many wealthy corporations who pay no taxes.
If you had a 14.5% rate,
some people would pay more.
But I want a government smaller.
See, I equate the bigger the government is,
the more freedom you have to give up.
-Uh-huh. -So I want a smaller freedom
so people are left alone and are more free.
But people left alone to do what?
Whatever the hell they want to do.
I mean, I want people to be left alone.
I don't want the government telling you what you can smoke,
what you can drink, or what you can read.
I think, um, now that you mentioned it... (groans)
-Drugs is up there. That's nice. -(laughter)
I thought my agent said we would not talk about pot.
-We're gonna talk about drugs, -All right.