Intimate Conversations
Husbands and wives are certainly
free to have sensual conversations
regarding their intimate relationship.
Here's Gene:
This particular Principle
really summarizes the essence of
the Song of Solomon.
Because the Song of Solomon
is a whole series of
intimate relationships relative to this gift
that God has given to men and women
to be practiced within His will.
For example, we began right here
in verse 10 and 11 with
the husband speaking.
This is a dialogue.
It's a dialogue between
this husband and his wife.
Your cheeks are beautiful with jewelry,
your neck with its necklace.
We will make gold jewelry for you,
accented with silver. . . .
How beautiful you are, my darling.
How very beautiful!
Your eyes are doves.
And of course, here you see
the symbolic language
which is used throughout the book
referring to certain animal and their coats.
And all the beauty that they saw in animals.
Which is a bit different from
our culture's situation.
But the fact is, it's referring to beauty.
And then the wife responds:
How handsome you are, my love.
How delightful!
Our bed is lush with foliage;
the beams of our house or cedars,
and our rafters are cypresses.
Again, there you have some
symbolic language.
Now it's clear from Scripture,
as we've already stated as we looked at
Principle 1, that God designed these
intimate conversations for a marriage union.
Because this is explicit language
related to the sexual activity
in this particular marriage.
And so the reason I say that is
that God doesn't design this
kind of language for those who are
not in this marriage relationship.
And very important to understand that Principle.
But see, this takes us back now
to the Garden of Eden.
We go back to the creation.
In Genesis chapter 2, verse 18:
Then the LORD God said,
"It is not good for the man to be alone. ...
You remember, He created Adam first.
And Adam found no fellowship with
any of the animals that God had created.
And I believe that's a literal description
of what happened.
And the reason was that he found
no other human being that was
made in the image of God.
He was the only one.
And so God said:
...I will make a helper
as his complement." . . . .
So the Lord God,
so The LORD God caused a deep sleep
to come over the man, and he slept.
God took one of his ribs and closed
the flesh at that place. ...
God performed an operation obviously.
...Then the Lord God made the rib
He had taken from the man
into a woman and brought her to the man.
And the man said: ...
Someone said the Hebrew
simply can be summarized
with one word--whoa or wow.
Now that's not just tongue-in-cheek
because he had not seen
bone of his bone, flesh of his flesh before.
But in particularly he had not seen a woman.
This was a brand new creation
that God brought into his presence.
And he was impressed.
And so we read on:
...the man said: ..
Now here's the elaboration.
...This one, at last, is bone of my bone...
I mean, she's standing there with legs like me.
And she's got arms. And eyes like me.
And this is flesh of my flesh.
And he recognized that--the uniqueness of this creation.
...And so he said:
This one will be called "woman,"
for she was taken from man.
And this is why...
We read in the Scriptures.
And this is very significant
because what I'm going to read here,
Jesus repeated this
and so did the apostle Paul.
....This is why a man leaves his father
and mother and bonds with his wife...
Now let me just simply underscore
the fact that I believe the Bible
is speaking literally about
a man bonding with a woman.
And there's no way in all of Scripture
can you say this applies to a statement
such as: This is why a man leaves
his father and mother and bonds
with his girlfriend,
or bonds with his significant other,
or bonds with another man.
Bonds with his wife.
And there, the word "wife" refers to a marriage.
This is not a relationship apart from
a committed marital relationship.
God performed the wedding.
And so it says:
...they become one flesh.
[And] both the man and his wife were naked,
[and] yet felt no shame.
Sin at this point had not enter into the world.
They were totally free.
Totally free to enjoy what they saw,
what they felt, what they sensed.
And this was God's plan in relationship to
men and women thereafter.
Now we know that once sin entered
the world, things changed.
But we also know that
God did not take away completely,
through sin, the opportunity,
the potential to enjoy the relationship.
He didn't destroy the relationship.
What happened is, is sin created
a problem in the relationship.
And so when you get to the
New Testament, Paul was
very explicit in relationship
to this relationship when he said:
A husband should fulfill
his marital responsibility to his wife,
and likewise a wife to her husband.
A wife does not have the right
over own body, but her husband does.
In the same way, a husband does not
have the right over his own body
but his wife does.
Do not deprive one another sexually--
except when you agree for a time,
to devote yourselves to prayer.
[And] then come together again;
otherwise, Satan may tempt you
because of your lack of self--control.
Those are the words of the apostle Paul.
No question as to what he is talking about.
Now the question for Reflection
and Response is this:
How has sin impacted husbands
and wives in their ability
to communicate openly and honestly
at this level of intimacy?
There's no question that tension
entered into that relationship.
Sin did affect that husband-wife relationship.
And history verifies that.
Here is what Genesis 3:16 says:
He said to the woman [that is the Lord]:
I will intensify your labor pains; ...
I'm not sure what it was like before.
Most women know what it's like after.
...you will bear children in anguish.
Your desire will be for your husband,
yet he will rule over you.
And the question is: What does that mean?
A good friend of mine Ronald Allen,
Hebrew scholar, paraphrased this
and he said this--this way.
And I think he really captures what happened.
I will also allow pain to come into
your marriage relationship with your husband.
You will tend to desire to usurp the role
I have given to him as
the compassionate leader in your home,
rejecting his role and belittling his manhood. ...
In other words, that's going to be the temptation.
And to the man on his part
will tend to relate to you in loveless tyranny.
By the way, think history.
Think paganism.
Think religious cults.
...loveless tyranny, dominating
and stifling your integrity
as an equal partner to himself.
That's a historical statement.
I don't think it's only an interpretation
but this is what has happened
apart from really true redemption
in the Lord Jesus Christ.
And when Jesus came, He really wanted to--
with His ability to change our lives,
to make us new in Christ--is to restore
those experiences that don't have to
happen when we know Christ.
But if you look at the battle of the sexes
throughout history, you look at
it even our own culture.
You look at the fact of domination, control,
manipulation on the part of men.
You look at the part of manipulation,
control, and even survival on the part of women.
I think it's a pretty good interpretation
of what happened in that relationship.
Which God wants to restore through
loving each other as Christ loved us.
And mutually submitting to one another.
And practicing the roles that God has given us
as men and women being equal.
And yet recognizing that God has
given headship and submission.
But at the same time,
a mutual submission and love for one another.
This was God's restoration.
And we see this in the New Testament.