MEANWHILE, DONALD TRUMP DID A BIG INTERVIEW IN "THE WALL
STREET JOURNAL" LAST WEEK.
AND LAST WEEK, FRIDAY OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
NOW THE JOURNAL PUBLISHED THE HIGHLIGHTS OF THE INTERVIEW IN A
RELATIVELY FLATTERING ARTICLE USING PHRASES LIKE MR. TRUMP
HOPSCOTCHED ACROSS A VARIETY OF POLICY AND PERSONAL TOPICS.
I'M SCEPTICAL, HOPSCOTCH IS A PHYSICAL ACTIVITY THAT REQUIRES
THE ABILITY TO COUNT TO TEN.
IT DOESN'T-- (APPLAUSE)
NOW "THE WALL STREET JOURNAL," HERE'S THE THING.
"THE WALL STREET JOURNAL" DID NOT RELEASE THE FULL TRANSCRYPT
OF THE INTERVIEW BUT LAST NIGHT'S "POLITICO" DID.
AND IT'S REALLY LESS HOP AND MORE SCOTCH.
NOW UNFORTUNATELY THERE IS NO FOOTAGE OF TRUMP SAYING THIS
STUFF.
BUT LUCKILY, WE'RE ABLE TO GET LIVE VIA SATELLITE SPEAKING
EXCLUSIVELY IN ACTUAL ANSWERS, FROM THE INTERVIEW, PLEASE
WELCOME CARTOON DONALD TRUMP.
CARTOON MR. PRESIDENT.
(APPLAUSE) HELLO.
>> HOW ARE YOU DOING?
>> Stephen: GREAT, GREAT.
THANK YOU FOR BEING WITH US, SIR.
NOW I HEAR YOU'VE BEEN WORKING ON INTERNATIONAL TRADE DEALS HOW
IS THAT GOING?
>> SO, I DEAL WITH FOREIGN COUNTRIES AND DESPITE WHAT YOU
MAY READ I HAVE UNBELIEVABLE RELATIONSHIPS WITH ALL THE
FOREIGN LEADERS.
THEY LIKE ME, I LIKE THEM, YOU KNOW, IT'S AMAZING.
SO I CALL LIKE MAJOR, MAJOR COUNTRIES AND I WILL BE DEALING
WITH THE PRIME MINISTER, THE PRESIDENT AND I WILL SAY HOW ARE
YOU DOING.
>> Stephen: SO YOUR IDEA OF FOREIGN POLICY IS CALLING PEOPLE
JUST TO SAY HI?
CAN I SUGGEST YOUR NEXT SECRETARY OF STATE BE A LONELY
GRANDMOTHER?
OKAY, SO DO YOUR CONVERSATIONS WITH FOREIGN LEADERS TOUCH ON
ANY POLICY ISSUES?
>> YOU CALL PLACES LIKE MALAYSIA, INDONESIA AND YOU SAY,
YOU KNOW, HOW MANY PEOPLE DO YOU HAVE.
AND IT'S PRETTY AMAZING HOW MANY PEOPLE THEY HAVE.
(LAUGHTER).
>> Stephen: HOW MANY PEOPLE THEY HAVE.
WOW, NORMALLY TO GET THAT INFORMATION YOU HAVE TO CHECK A
SNAP EL CAP.
>> GOOD TIP.
>> NOW HAVE YOU MADE ANY PROGRESS WITH THE INTERNATIONAL
TRADE DEALS?
>> WHEN I WAS WITH PRESIDENT XI WHO I HAVE A VERY GOOD
RELATIONSHIP WITH, I SAID DO ME A FAVOR, WOULD YOU ALLOW CATTLE,
PLEASE, TO COME IN.
I WAS LAST NIGHT IN WEST VIRGINIA AND HI FARMERS COMING
UP TO ME AND HUGGING ME AND KISSING ME BECAUSE OF THE CATTLE
STUFF.
>> Stephen: I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE INTO CATTLE STUFF.
NOW YOU TWEETED ABOUT TRADE TALKS WITH BRITAIN.
CAN YOU TELL US ANY MORE ABOUT WHAT IS GOING ON?
>> NO, BUT I CAN SAY THAT WE'RE GOING TO BE VERY INVOLVED WITH
THE UK.
YOU DON'T HEAR THE WORD BRITAIN ANY MORE, IT'S VERY INTERESTING.
IT'S LIKE NOPE.
(LAUGHTER).
>> Stephen: BUT YOU JUST SAID THE WORD BRITAIN.
>> NOPE.
>> Stephen: OKAY.
ON ANOTHER POIRNGHTS YOU RECENTLY CALLED THE U.S. THE
HIGH ES TAXED NATION IN THE WORLD BUT THE DATA SHOWS THAT IS
CLEARLY DENMARK.
>> WE'RE THE HIGHEST TAXED NATION IN THE WORLD.
WE HAVE NOBODY KNOWS WHAT THE NUMBER IS BUT I MEAN, IT USED TO
BE WHEN WE TALKED DURING THE DEBATE, 2.5 TRILLION, RIGHT?
WHEN THE MOST ELEGANT PERSON, RIGHT, I CALLED HIM MR. ELEGANT.
>> Stephen: WHAT DOES ANY OF THAT MEAN?
AND AS-- AND I KNOW THIS IS SOMETHING YOU ACTUALLY SAID, BUT
WHO IS MR. ELEGANT?
>> I CALL HIM MR. ELEGANT.
WELL, HOW DO YOU DO?
IT'S AN ABSOLUTE PLEASURE TO MAKE YOUR ACQUAINTANCE IT IS I,
MR. ELEGANT.
BUT YOU CAN CALL ME LORD WINSTON ELEGANTE 3 ESQUIRE.
>> Stephen: AND WHO ARE YOU?
>> I'M THE PRESIDENT'S IMAGINARY FRIEND.
IF YOU WILL EXCUSE MEE, I'M HOSTING A RAGING PARTY FOR THREE
MILLION IMAGINARY VOTERS.
>> Stephen: CARTOON TRUMP AND MR. ELEGANT, EVERYBODY.