Right.
We’ve got as long it takes for the battery in that camera to run out to answer any questions
you could have about these zappy little fellers.
Let’s go.
Are all batteries the same?
No.
Broadly speaking there are three kinds of disposable battery.
Lithium.
Alkaline
And Zinc Carbon.
Zinc Carbon batteries are cheap.
Really cheap.
They retail at around 50c per AA.
If a packet of batteries doesn’t
say what type they are, or uses the phrase heavy duty, they’re Zinc Carbon.
They’re good for TV remotes, wall clocks that don’t drain a lot of energy
and suck for just about everything else.
Want to upset your kid on Christmas morning?
Pop some Zinc Carbon batteries in her new toy and see how far it gets.
Hovercraft!!!
We have learnt a valuable lesson about batteries.
The greatest gift of all.
So true.
Okay, Alkaline!
This is the most common type of disposable battery.
They’re about a dollar each, so twice as much as Zinc Carbon, but have around three
times the capacity.
They’re good for pretty much anything if you don’t mind replacing them from time
to time.
But if you do mind…
There’s lithium.
Heaps expensive, about 4 bucks a battery.
But do they last long enough to justify the price?
Probably not, says Choice Their testing found lithium batteries gave
better performance over all - but are still a poor value proposition.
Using alkaline batteries you replace a couple of times usually makes more financial sense
than using one expensive lithium battery.
What Do Words Like “Max” and “Gold” mean?
Good question.
Getting your head around those words you’ll see on a battery packet - like Advanced, or
Max or Gold or Ultra - can be hard.
The good news is: you don’t need to, cos they’re meaningless.
In fact, like “Gold" and "Max" are registered trademarks,
so ignore them.
When we asked Energizer to explain the difference between their Max and Advanced range, they
told us
Please be informed that Max batteries are
latest edition to our alkaline batteries, which is more better than Advanced batteries.
More….better?
Ya.
Now also be wary of claims like
“Longer lasting” as on these Duracell Ultras.
Follow that little asterisk and you’ll see it means these Alkalines last longer
than Zinc Carbon batteries, which of course they do.
You could also claim that they’re longer lasting than Tiffany’s
potato battery here
Sorry Tiffany!
So remember.
If you want a sense of how long a battery is going to last - don’t look at the marketing
jargon, look at what it’s made from.
Who Invented The Battery?
Many people believe that the first battery was invented using earthenware jars not unlike this one.
In the third century
Yeah, sorry we really don’t have time for this. At all.
Moving on in 1799 the father of the modern battery was Alessandro Volta,
Move!
Should I use rechargeable batteries?
It almost always makes financial sense to use rechargeable batteries.
The popular ones cost around five or six bucks each, plus the cost of the charger, but you’re
going to make that back after a dozen or so uses.
Rechargeable batteries are also a lot better for the environment: it means you’re not
contributing to the fourteen thousand odd tonnes of batteries
going into Australian landfill every year.
And that also drastically reduces the chance of Craig Reucassel coming to your house and
making a documentary about you.
Even a resuable cup could eventually end up in landfill.
so the best solution is to get your barista to make your coffee directly into your mouth.
But the problem with rechargeable batteries is their “self discharge rate”
which sounds gross but is not.
Rechargeable batteries lose a fair whack of energy even when they’re not being used.
So they’re not good in devices that sit around a lot, like your torch or smoke alarm.
Or your emergency Big Mouth Billy Bass.
[the nonsense fish sings for an unreasonable period of time]
[seriously]
Ben, do you have any other interesting facts about batteries?
Why yes I do!
If, like everyone else in the world, you have a drawer full of loose batteries that you’re
not sure are still good - here’s a way to see.
An alkaline battery with a full charge… won’t bounce when you drop it on a hard
surface.
One without a full charge… will.
It’s like a reverse basketball!
Now, remember, this only works for ‘alkaline’ batteries and the reason for this is “powerful witchcraft”.
Also, you could just get a battery tester for around ten bucks.
I guess.
Okay! That’s it!
I think we did it!
Right!
The year is 1752!
A curious Philadelphian by the name of Benjamin Franklin has discov- -