Previously on Pogostuck
AHHHHHHHHHHH! AHHHHHH! *Glitchy effect* AHHHHHHHH!
Hello everybody, my name is Markiplier and welcome back to Pogostuck. I've calmed down, I've done some deep breathing
I got some water everything is fine, and I'm ready to try this again with a little more
Sensibility in my head just because I fail does not mean it's a mhhh does not mean it's a bad thing
(Already going great)
It's just what happens I really wish there weren't other people here, but that's okay. Nothing I can do about it
That's the nature of the game. It's called rage with your friends, which is a really cool thing. It's really nice that they got this
Multiplayer aspect in here cuz that kind of makes it, you know new and fresh it innovates on the concept
Which I'm always a fan of
So that's good
There we go so far so good
And up and over? Yes, okay
Bonk your head. Okay. Here we go. Nope, okay
Just like they did juuust like they did
Easy-peasy just like they did stop wigglin'
Nope GOD AHHH! I fffucked the 360 up are you kidding me!?
*inhale* OH GOD I second-guessed myself at the last SECOND
*inhale* OH GOD I DIDN'T EVEN
GET TO TRY GOD DAMN IT *sadly* that's not fair that's heartbreaking
Why would you do that to me? OOH, come on!
I just wanted to TRYYYYYYYY
*inhale* I've tried ONCEEEE
ONCE in the entire time of doing this section? I've gotten to try it ONCE oh my god
I don't even know what I'm doing anymore. Nothing that I'm doing makes any sense
Oh
God nothing, I just don't understand. I don't
Understand I don't I really don't understand what the hell is wrong with me
Oh god, I should be so far past second-gues--- oh my god. I just I'm done. I'm done
Yammering. I'm done yammering. I'm done whining
I just want to play the game
God damn it, I can't even get this first
Thing anymore. How is that possible that I've I I'm capable of like doing it
So well the first time I get in here and then it's it's not just here
It's every single time I play a game that requires any sort of skill is like I do
Totally fine the first two or three passes I do
completely fine and then for some reason
Everything I learned up until that point goes out the window, everything I know goes out the WINdow.
*inhale* SS OHH
My god, OH MY GOD. I want to show you guys some progress. I really do
I'm really trying guys. I'm really trying I swear. I'm really trying here. I don't know what happens to me
Like I know it's it's something to do with my emotional state I get that you armchair psychologists
I get it that makes sense to me what I don't get is how even if it's not a rage game
*inhale* That's how it happens. Every time I can be calm as a cucumber and it will still happen
oh my god, how can I thread that needle so tightly oh
My god, just I don't care anymore.
Oh my GOOOOOD
*le pause*
I don't understand
I don't I don't understand how I can be fine and
totally fine make so much progress the very first time and then
completely fuck everything up the only answer or I'm an idiot, are I'm doing it on purpose and I swear to
GOD, I'm not an idiot and I'm not doing it on purpose
I think some part of me is like
Sabotaging myself. That's the only explanation
Is there some gremlin that lives in my brain and decides
to pull strings at the wrong times
Here we go, here we go. Here we go. This is it. Hit my head. That's fine. Stop. Don't don't there we go
There we go
*some kind of no sound*. whop. WHAAAA
Okay. Well you try some--- WHAA second shot. Oh fuck. There we go.
I don't oh my god, that's the fucking worst. I thought it couldn't get any worse. Okay. Here we go. Here we go
Here we go, here we go
I'm going for it I'm just gonna keep going. Oh god, here we go. Here we go. Here we go. Yes. Yes. Yes. Oh my god
NOOO, no, no, no, no
Oh god okay. Here we go. That's fine. OH that's honey
OOHHHH
Fffffuck me. Oh my god. What the fuck? Okay, I'm not gonna complain cuz I'm here now.
Oh my god, oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. HO, holy fuck no no, no
AHH shit. AHH fuck there I go.
Oh here I am. It's fine. Okay. *Markiplier noise* Okay, that's fine. I wanted to go there.
OK I've made it to here. I don't know what this means for me
Except Oh God there I go. Oh NOOOOOO
God, damn it there. I fucking go. I don't understand what just happened. What happened
Can you just go away? Okay, I don't know what happened, but it was amazing. I made progress. I feel really good
I feel good. It feels so good when I make progress, it feels so good
Ooh
Tingles is this what ASMR---
Fucking I hate you so much. You're the opposite of ASMR. Oh my God. Why would you intensually choose that?
No, if I didn't curve there, it would have been fine. Stop being an ASSHOLE
Stop god fucking
Oh my god oh fuck
*exhale* SLURRRP
I swear you are the worst
Human ever in the history of ever. You're the worst human. You are THE worst
You must understand that you must know. Why is that not superboost god I hate it SO much
Why would you do that to those around you? Why? Why would you do that
Oh god ah fuck it's really it's just it's like nails on a chalkboard. There we go
There we go
AND we're gonna keep--- oh god it's not a boost. WHY WAS THAT NOT A BOOST? Are you kidding me? Oh my god
Why was that not boosted?
Okay, here we go
God, dammit. God dammit. God dammit. I'm back in it to win it
Okay, here we go. Here we go. Here we go
Here we go. Hit your head. Hit your head
No, no stop. Oh, okay. That's weird. No god. Oh, why did I?
*exhale* *whispers* fuckin' I had to ruin that
Okay, I ruin EVERY single opportunity that's put in front of me
I sabotage myself at EVERY turn at EVERY SINGLE turn I sabotage myself
That's what I mean. The little gremlin that lives in my brain is sabotaging me
You're trying to make me feel like I'm an idiot when in reality it is YOU that is the idiot Gremmie
*quietly* ok that's not happening
So adapt overcome overcome a fucking
oh no
God damn it. God. Damn you. Oh fuck off. Oh shut the fuck---
Ah, maybe I deserve all this maybe this is my punishment for something I did
I don't know what I did but I feel like this can only be a punishment. So, okay
*inhale*
Ahhhh
Every time that doesn't get boosted. I'm gonna yank out one of my ball hairs. That's what I'ma do
I'm just gonna start a collection. I'm gonna make a sculpture of this Pogo guy out of my pubes one
God damn pube at a time
Okay.
Oh my god, are you
I got to stop asking if they're kidding me
Because it's very clear to me that they are not kidding when they do the crap that they're pulling there
They're not kidding like this game. This came don't kid around when it comes to that stuff
No, why would you do that? Why would you
DOOOOOOOOO THAAAAAAAAAT, WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT
Having a perfectly lovely time
No God Oh why
God, damn it. I
There's a science to which de--- ahhh fuckin Christ
There's a science to which way you're supposed to turn when you jump and like
I've almost got it down, but I haven't quite obviously got it down. God. Damn. YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
Oh my god, I am going to strangle a bear. I'm gonna strangle a bear with my bear/bare hands
I will strangle a goddamn grizzly bear
I'm gonna rip out its ball hairs add it to my ball hair sculpture and then you know what?
I'm gonna sell it on eBay
Oh my god, COULD I THREAD THE NEEDLE ANY BETTER, COULD I DO IT?
CAN I FOR THAT THAT GAP IS
Fucking it tiny and I hit it every time I am so good at fucking it up
I am the best that be a royal fuckup if it is just the narrowest gap and I hit it
every fucking time
Every time it is it is, um here I go again. Yes, please fucking there we go. I hit it every
Fucking time. I hit it every fucking time. I don't want to be angry.
I don't want this. I don't want I don't like this. I like the game everybody stop
I like the ga--- I wouldn't be playing it if there wasn't some visceral joy to be had about this experience
I like a challenge. I don't like this game. I like a challenge and I don't give up
*le sigh* oh my god
I just don't I'm not that type of person I never quit
I just don't know when to quit like it's it's a strength and a weakness, but I don't quit
But I just don't want to be angry. I don't like being angry. It's just such a painful thing
It's so painful, there we go. Here we are
There we are. No stop and yes, here we go. Okay
No GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD, DAMN ITTTTTTT
Where am I? Okay there I go, you know
just fucking forget it just forget any hope of
Recovering anything cuz it never works it never works
Look at this
Look at me getting good. Okay. Oh my god
I had to open my big fucking flapper and there I go
Threading. Oh
my god
No, not again
OHHHHHHH GOOOOOOOOOOOD *sad music begins and rain starts*
I don't get it. I don't get it. I don't get it. I don't fucking get it
How can I hit it every time I did it so perfect every time it's not fair
It's not fair. It's not fair
SLURRRRRRRRP
It's not fair it's not fair that I hit that every
Single time. It's not fair. I hit it every goddamn time
How many times have I been trying to climb this fucking tree? And
Every time I fail it's because I hit it right at the frickin edge of existence
Oh my god, I can't believe that that's so
Unfathomably unfair
It's so unbelievably unfair it just is it's not fair stop
No, I did it again I don't
Okay here I go. I can't see where I am
Okay, here we go No God
I JOOOOOE I HAD I HAD TO SAY SOMETHING I HAD TO FUCKING SAY SOMETHING
*inhale*
WHY DO I KEEP SAYING THINGS. ahhh
So painful it's so painful, AHHHHH there go all my ball hairs and there I go okay ha ha ha WUAAAA
Thiz thiz is fun it's fun. It's fun guys
It's fun. What I'm doing here is what one would call fucking fun
fun fun
Stop
Doing that
HA no, I can't how that's it's fucking impossible
There's no way a human could be that fucking
Precise as me em with hitting that gap, there's no it's not
Possible. It should not be possible
No, no, no no god, oh fuck
Just stop stop stop stop stop
SToOop
God I
*some sound* ahh fuck
Every time I say here we go. I somehow managed to fuck it up even more than I did before
No God
I swear to God, I swear to fucking and uhh I'm ruining my chances cmon get back up GOD
uahhhh fuck off
Fuck off fuck off
FFFFFFUCK OOOOOOOOF
You don't understand this. Why am I failing is the only
Question I have in my head cuz that's the only way that I could get better is if I if I'm like, okay
What what's going wrong? How can I how can I fix it? What can I do to be better? And and it's like I
Don't know. I don't know what I could do to be better. I'm trying
everything in my power to be better and
Nothing's working. I'm not getting any better. I'm not getting any closer to the truth. I I don't feel like I'm making any progress
God, damn it. Damn it
No here we go here we go here we go
Oh, no, no, no, oh fuck here I go and I'm going back up for it. Oh my god, I made it. Oh
Ohhhh Fuck off
*long triggered sigh*
You think I'm gonna be able to tell my grandkids
About how proud I was that I got to the top of this mountain that I got to the top of a knock off game
Of a game that I hated that I actually spent time and worked and and strove real hard to do this
*grandkid voice* Grandpa! Grandpa!
Tell us about the time that you beat Pogostuck
* Grandpa voice* Well, I'll tell you it was a real doozie, but I got it hehehe
just you be hehe
Bazinga Popeye. Aoua I used to be famous on the youtubes. *Grandkid voice* Yeah augaua
Grandpa, what's YouTube * Grandpa voice* rohur you kids suck. I'm a terrible old man
uh
uh-oh
No, no God, okay, we're good we're good we're good. hit that, okay
*multiple slaps*
Okay, interesting
And we're back in it
somehow
oh my god, oh my god. Oh my god, here we go we're u--- up. We're at we're fucked up. We're fucked. We're OH
HO OH
Fuck are you fucking kidding MEEEE?
OHHH NOOOOOOOO
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
HOW AND WHY AND IN WHAT WORLD
Oh my god, are you kidding me? Please? Tell me I'm dreaming and that was not actually what happened. Oh my god
Okay. Well, this'll be easy right? I've already done it. Therefore. I could do it a millnion times in my soul. No, please not
NNNNAUUUUUUUOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH fuck
*various grunts from Mark*
CHAIR CHUCK
OUHHH
That's all that's all time I got for that episode
*music quietly creeps in* Thank you everybody so much for watching. Oh, oh
*SLAPPAS*
Boy, okay. Yeah. Thank you if you want more of this, OH let me know. OHHH. Let me know RING THAT BELL
Just thank you God check out more in the description as always - see you next one. Bye, Bye Oh
OHHHHHHHHHH
(Marks a Beyblade fo the next 20 mins now)
(You can change the subtitles if you want to make it more correct if you want)
BEYBLADE LET IT RIP! LET'S FIGHT AN EPIC BATTLE! FACE OFF AND SPIN THE METAL! NO TIME FOR DOUBT NOW, NO PLACE FOR BACKING DOWN!