- Fix these three love blocks and I promise you,
your energy will be so much more magnetic,
so much more attractive,
and you will just find that by naturally being yourself,
you emanate that energy.
Now the first love block to fix,
that completely changes your life when you begin
to apply it has to do with understanding your frame.
We all have a frame of reality, we are emanating out.
Now what happens is if there is needy energy
or if there is codependent energy,
then what that means is that someone else
is craving someone else's frame of reality.
So when you're feeling safe inside your own body.
When you're leading in your life,
going in a certain direction,
when you feel good and you feel worthy,
you emanate that out in other people, feel that.
Remember one of the first and most important laws,
when it comes to attraction.
People feel what you feel about you.
Because people are mirroring back
the energy you are emanating out.
And when it comes to codependency and neediness,
that is an energy that is very repelling.
Needy energy and codependent energy,
literally pushes away that which we want.
Now we could also say that the degree
to which someone is attractive
is the degree to which someone is not needy.
So let's define what neediness is.
Neediness and non-neediness.
The opposite sides of the coin.
Neediness is when we put what someone else thinks
or what someone else feels or someone else in general.
When we make them more important than ourselves.
And we also believe that they have something that
if they were to give to us, we would then feel good enough.
Then that is what is called neediness.
Is when we put them on a pedestal,
when we believe they are the cure
to whatever we think we want, that is neediness.
Non-neediness is when you value and fill up your own cup.
It's when you don't need something from them
you don't put them on a pedestal.
Because remember when you treat someone like a celebrity,
they treat you like a fan.
Why? Because people are playing according,
people are responding to us based
on the energy we're putting out.
So for like, oh my God, I'm so grateful to be around you.
I really hope you text me back.
And this, this, this.
They're not gonna be like, oh, I'm so attracted.
They're not, the attraction goes down,
because of the way they're being treated.
So when it comes to this,
realize that one of the most powerful things to do
is to understand that neediness
is one of the most repellent things.
And the key to this is also realize
that we tend to try to attract people into our life.
Because we want them to meet
our unmet childhood needs when we were kids.
Let me say that again, in a little different way.
So the people we attract into our life,
we attract them many times to close the loop from childhood,
because we're hoping they will fill up the cup,
and they will meet the unmet childhood needs we had as kids.
So if we felt needy as a kid maybe our parents
didn't give us the love, the nurturing,
the support, they didn't meet our needs.
Then what happens is we tend to, that feels familiar to us.
So then we go out into the world and we attract people
hoping they can meet our needs.
But the thing is, is normally we attract people
that aren't able to meet our needs
because that feels safe from childhood.
We secretly kind of want it.
In a weird way because it feels familiar.
It feels like childhood.
We are trying to close the loop
and to recreate the same energetic energies
that were around when we were kids.
So one of the most powerful things to realize
is that we all have like an inner child
that we can begin to meet our own needs
and let go of the old meanings
and the old beliefs that we adopted as kids.
And those old meanings, old beliefs,
may have been validation
and approval is outside of myself.
Because maybe we also weren't encouraged
to meet our own needs as a kid, too.
There's different sides.
That's either our needs weren't met
or we weren't encouraged to meet our own needs.
So then we expect everyone else to.
The key to this though, 90% of all transformation,
with this process, is to become aware of it.
And to realize are we projecting these things
outside of ourself and expecting somebody else
to meet our needs.
And one thing that we could then do
is begin to heal the childhood stuff
by becoming aware of it.
That's 90% of it.
And then letting go of the old meaning
and realizing that if we believe somebody else
has the validation, has the love, has the support,
and we don't have it.
Then we're looking for something external to ourselves.
And the solution to this that makes you more magnetic
is to put the energy inside of yourself,
put the energy in your hands, put the energy in your feet.
And I know it sounds simple
but it's an embodiment practice that changes everything.
Because then you are able
to feel safe inside your own body.
Instead of trying to find safety in someone else,
you find safety in your own body.
And that is magnetic. That is attractive.
It's all gearing and intended
to bring your energy back to yourself.
When your energy is inside your body,
when you're present, even feeling the separation
between you and your environment, you and your chair,
me and the I'm feeling the separation
between me and the camera, that is healthy.
But when we tune to everything else
trying to find safety and we project our energy out.
It repels, because it's projection, instead of embodiment.
So that changes everything, that changed everything for me.
When it came to my own love blocks
is cause I would tune myself to other people.
I would try to be what I thought other people wanted to be.
And that caused a lot of pain
and also a depolarized sexual dynamic.
Because then I'm tuning to someone else
and then they feel that.
And then it's like, it's like
why is this person tuning to me?
Obviously they must have not have
a high sense of self worth or self value.
That's what subconsciously is, is projected out.
Now the second thing and the second thing,
the second love block that a lot of people have
is especially in the modern society here in the US,
in the United States, it's a level of fakeness.
And a level of people pleasing that becomes very popular.
And it's kind of connected to the first one a little bit
because the wound of a lot of this is the abandonment wound.
We felt abandoned as kids
either physically or emotionally abandoned.
And then we felt like we weren't enough.
So then we thought we had to tune our own body
to other people, tune our own energy to others.
To help make them happy or to help them feel a certain way.
So that we could feel safe.
Now the trouble is, people pleasing is manipulative.
If we're gonna please someone else
that is a toxic behavior that is
trying to manipulate somebody into giving us our needs met.
Our needs met, might be, oh, I want validation.
I want support. But it also, isn't real.
The nice guy syndrome, the nice girl syndrome,
someone that's being nice.
That's not real.
Cause people are being nice in order
to get someone else's validation or approval.
They're getting a payoff from that.
And that payoff is somebody else
to think a certain way about you.
It's once again, tuning to other people.
I was talking to my shadow work coach the other day
in a session he was explaining to me,
we were talking about toxic feminine
and toxic masculine behavior.
And one of the things we talked about
is when it comes to masculinity
there's two major healthy masculine traits
that the masculine can have.
And that is to protect and to serve,
to protect and to serve.
Now to protect is a healthy thing.
To protect somebody's maybe, you know,
it's a stereotypical and the collective consciousness
for the man or the masculine, to protect.
Now the shadow side of protect that is the toxic side
is to control.
So if somebody's trying to control the dynamics,
that causes a lot of toxic energy.
Now on the other side of that
it's to protect and to serve.
The toxic side of serving is to please.
The feminine does not wanna be pleased.
To be pleased is in a way it's inauthentic.
It is like it's communicating to the feminine
that, you know, it screws up the sexual polarity,
but to please is a payoff. I'm gonna please you.
And then you're gonna give me sex.
You're gonna give me this. You're gonna gimme validation.
You're gonna approve of me.
I'm gonna be indispensable, if I please you.
If I please you, you're never gonna leave me.
Now whether you're feminine or masculine,
just in general these energy traits to please
may have meant as well.
Here's my theory.
That maybe there was a masculine energy growing up
that wasn't healthy, that masculine energy growing up
meant to try to please somebody else.
When you try to please somebody else
it depolarizes everything.
So the key to this and to realizing this
is to once again, bring your energy back
and to make the choice, to be more vulnerable.
To be more vulnerable.
Express yourself, actually communicate
how you think and feel.
And to realize that even if you,
I know that when I started ditching
to people pleasing mentality,
I had some friends that I would like
kind of change my center of gravity around
because I like realized I was doing that
since the beginning of day one.
I started actually expressing the real me
and my real thoughts and my real opinions and stuff.
And the funny thing was, is I thought
maybe I'm gonna get rejected.
Maybe they're not gonna like that.
You wanna know what happened. They respected me.
I got respect from people that didn't respect me
for a long time because I was being the,
I was being a yes, man.
And I started once again, bringing my energy back to self.
I stopped tuning myself to other people
and that made the energy so different.
But vulnerability is the ability to open up your heart.
The ability to show yourself,
the ability to express your true
and have effective communication.
Express how you really feel to someone else.
Sometimes people have blocks
because they're not being emotionally available
and actually expressing, hey, I'm attracted to you.
Hey, I like, I'm flirting with you.
Like you don't have to tell someone,
hey I'm flirting with you, but,
you actually express that.
Don't be afraid to express the real you.
In a physical way, in an emotional way.
And to do it in a way that is authentic.
Because when we hold back levels of vulnerability,
people are mirroring that behavior
and they're holding back their own vulnerability.
And if they wouldn't resonate with you
then at least you save your time.
You save years, maybe, of like playing this cat-mouse game
of going back and forth.
So express the real you.
Anytime I've done that it has paid off in so many ways,
I couldn't even believe it.
I expressed my true emotions to somebody.
I started expressing my emotions more.
I started expressing.
And when like, you know being more touchy, feely,
and flirtatious, it has such a powerful effect
because it's also real.
It's how you really think or feel.
Now the third love block to release
and this is probably one of the most powerful ones.
Is your story about love and your story about yourself,
and your story about who you're dating,
and your story about love and relationships to begin with.
I had a story growing up,
even after my dad divorced my ex-stepmom.
When I was 15 years old, I had a story that said,
that women in my life are trying to control me.
So guess what happened?
I only attracted women in my life that wanted to control me.
They were either jealous or it was a manager in
Nordstroms that was, like extremely controlling
and similar to my ex-stepmom,
Like would gaslight all the time and control.
Because I was used to the control
and that felt safe and familiar to me.
So I had to become aware of these beliefs.
I had to become aware of that common denominator.
It's funny, if you hear somebody say, you know,
we attract that which energy feels familiar to us.
So if you're like all guys I date are freaking crazy.
All women I date are freaking crazy.
What's the common denominator?
What's the common denominator there?
All the, is it all the guys in the world are crazy?
Or is it that it feels familiar to have crazy dudes
or crazy chicks into your life?
It feels familiar to try to save them
and to try to please them.
Maybe there's certain level of craziness,
that's on the inside to become aware of.
Not in a shameful way but become aware of
what am I, what energy am I addicted to
or feels familiar to me.
Become aware of the beliefs.
90% of all transformation is becoming aware of the beliefs.
I had a belief growing up of shame. I'm broken.
There's something wrong with me. How could anybody like me?
If I believed I'm broken, there's something wrong with me.
My biggest block when it was, when it came to dating
like a year or two ago was that I would go on dates
and I would just have this subconscious belief
that I'm not worthy and how could anyone like me?
And I was afraid of abandonment. So I would change myself.
And it all, it felt like this real inauthentic game.
But when I started committing to myself
I started feeling safe in my own body.
I started becoming aware of these beliefs.
I became aware of that shame.
Everything in my life began to change
and it will change for you.
And you will be more magnetic and more attractive.
If you bring your energy back to you.
Bring your energy back to you, focus on how you feel,
focus on how you're showing up, focus on your own stories,
and realize that everything on the outside
is simply a projection of what you feel like on the inside.
And what you have normalized as far as emotions go.
Now, if you have a love question
that you'd like me to answer,
something new I'm doing, if you are in the US or Canada,
is if you text me your question.
I'm gonna be putting those in future YouTube videos.
I'm gonna be answering questions
and I'm gonna be sending out two or three text messages,
two or three times a week tops.
On the top epiphanies, top insights, top books I'm reading
and top insights I'm learning about magnetic energy
and everything else.
Codependency, being safe in your own frame.
So if you want to receive, and you want me to text you,
text me and ask me your questions at (424)304-0104.
Text me your questions. And I will do that.
Also, you can just click the link below
in the top of the subscription box and add me to your phone.
Also, if you want a video that will help you
to remove the main love block.
There's one main love block
that is blocking love from coming into your life.
That video will be right here.
It's one of my most powerful videos.
If you are chasing someone, they're gonna run away.
Imagine you chasing a dog.
It's like, I'm gonna get you the dog brooh,
the dog just starts running or starts playing with you
because it's playing on that energy dynamic.
Well, in the same way we all have these
blocks to love that has other people in our life.