- Okay, so, all you got to do is, cross your arms,
close your eyes and lean back.
And I will catch you.
- Oh, hell no.
- Now, if you have trouble in your love life, trusting men
and it's causing you to struggle in your relationships,
then this video is absolutely for you.
Here are seven signs
that you have some serious trust issues.
Keep watching.
(air whooshing)
(bells and chimes)
Hey there, Adam Lodolce,
from Sexy Confidence dot com,
where I help you create your love story
and I will tell you this one thing about relationships
that I know is absolutely true, and that is,
relationships are founded on one thing, trust.
Trusting that when I say something,
it stays between the two of us.
Trusting, that when we're not together,
we are both faithful to each other.
Trusting that your partner will speak kindly about you
when you're not there.
Trusting that we are both being honest with one another,
even when there's conflict.
Without trust, relationships can not grow,
because that is what a relationship really is.
So, if you're finding that trust is a real issue
in your relationships, this is something you're gonna
wanna really dive deeply into.
So, here are a few signs,
that this is a struggle in your life
and what it is that you can do about it.
Sign number one, is that you don't give anyone
the benefit of the doubt.
Look, when you meet someone for the first time,
I'm not saying that you need to trust them In every
way, shape, or form, and that is absolutely not
what you wanna do,
but you want to start everyone with
somewhat of a clean slate.
And that means, that you're just cautiously optimistic
as you're getting to know them.
You're not going to one hundred percent trust them,
but you're not, also, going to question every single thing
that they do.
Giving someone a benefit of a doubt, really helps you,
kind of, get to know them.
Be cautiously optimistic throughout the relationship
and then, as they earn your trust, you give them more trust.
And this could be really hard to do,
if you've been burned in the past.
Daniel Gilbert, a famous psychologist, coin the term,
psychological immune system.
And this is very similar to an immune system,
where we fight off disease, only that, it's psychological
and when we are hurt in the past,
we build up this new immune system, that, kind of,
pushes away anything that even resembles
what happened to us in the past.
And this is good, generally, because it makes you more aware
and makes you less naive.
On the other hand, it can go to far.
And if you find that you can't trust anyone,
or give anyone a benefit of a doubt, it's a problem.
Sign number two, is that once that trust is truly earned
with a person, you still don't give them that trust.
When Jess and I first started dating,
she had some trust issues from previous relationships.
And when we first started dating,
she was cautiously optimistic.
However, as time went on, and I certainly did earn her trust
and we started working through those early kinks
of a new relationship.
She trusted me on levels that, quite frankly,
she'd never trusted anyone in her entire life,
up to that point.
And if you're finding that, once you do meet someone,
who you can trust, who, they are showing you
every single sign possible that they are trustworthy.
If you're finding that you can't, still trust that person,
then it's time to really start
addressing these trust issues.
Number three, is that you're constantly comparing
new people that you meet, to toxic people from your past.
If, when you meet a new guy,
that you're really interested in and all you can do,
is think about how your last boyfriend
was a raging asshole,
then you probably have some trust issues.
Every new person you meet deserves to start
with that clean slate.
And just because the last guy you dated
wasn't exactly the nicest guy in the world,
certainly carries no weight into this new relationship
and you have to remind yourself of that,
every time you start a new relationship.
Number four, is that you trust all of the wrong people.
Have you ever sat down with a financial advisor,
who is incentivized to get you to invest all their
money into their portfolio?
And you like that person, so you're like, you know what,
I'm gonna give this person all of my money
and never look at what happens with that money.
If you've ever something like that happen to you,
you've probably realized, it's important to understand
the incentives that people bring to the table.
And this same thing translates into relationships.
If you meet a guy at a bar and things are going really well
and he keeps inviting you back to his place
for drinks that night
and then, at that moment, he keeps telling you
how beautiful you are, he wants to keep seeing you
and he wants to take you out on a date,
he wants to take you out for dinner, all these things.
You might not wanna trust that guy,
because his incentives are to bring you home with him.
It's important to really take a look at what people's
incentives are and where you should
and where you certainly shouldn't trust people.
Number five is that, you not only avoid commitment,
but it scares the living (beep) out of you.
I get it, commitment can be a little bit scary,
especially when it comes to long term relationships,
but it's really hard to build a long term,
trusting relationship, unless you're willing
to commit fully, to a new person.
Number six, is that you tend to push the good guys away
and you're left there wondering,
why did I do that?
Now, there's a principle
that rings true for most things in life
and it rings true for commitment as well
and that is that, if you're not sure of why you seem
to avoid things, then it's probably the outcome
that really scares you.
For example, let's say you have only a couple
of courses left and finally you will get that masters degree
that you've always wanted, but for whatever reason,
you're just not compelled to do it.
If you're struggling with that, them maybe,
deep down on the inside, you're scared of the outcome
and that is that, you're gonna have to actually go
get a job, you're gonna have to go face potential rejection
and see if that degree was actually worth the money.
And the same thing goes with relationships,
if you are terrified of commitment, maybe it's just
the outcome that you're really scared of.
Maybe it's the fear of marriage, maybe it's the fear
of actual heartbreak that could potentially come
of that marriage.
Maybe it's the fear that you're gonna
be completely tied down
and will have no more freedom in your life.
Whatever it is, taking a look at what that outcome is
that you're really afraid of and actually addressing that,
rather than addressing the commitment issues.
And finally, number seven sign, that you have
trust issues, is that you straight up snoop.
It goes without saying,
but if you're part of this community, don't snoop,
don't look at his phone, don't go through his drawers,
don't go through is Facebook, or Instagram messages
looking for evidence of him cheating.
It's not worth it, because the moment you get caught
and you will get caught doing that,
the moment all trust is broken on the other hand for him.
He's never gonna trust you from that point foreword.
So, there you have it, there are the seven signs
that you may ,or may not have trust issues.
I'd love to hear from you in the comments below.
Do you struggle with trust issues?
Leave that comment and let me know which one
you're really struggling with.
And also, if you enjoyed this video,
don't forget to head on over to Sexy Confidence dot com,
where I will help you through every single stage
of dating, love, and relationships.
Thank you so much for watching
and I'll speak to you next week,
you sexy, single lady, bye, bye.