sure if you got mascot this evening I
don't have a mascot but you have a
present for everyone this week I'd like
to give everybody a little present
that's lovely just something little
something from me that I'd like you to
enjoy you know and help you tonight as a
very special experience chunky in it but
it's good
[Laughter]
sure Moss your mascot you know people
and they don't want to buy people they
buy people things like aprons like funny
aprons and I've seen a gap in the market
and I thought what about sort of sad
aprons or even better slightly
disturbing aprons come up with this one
as you see here it's got a what what's
going on on this apron well there's an
empty bird's nest near the oven gloves
what if we got here oh it's a little
baby bird on his back he fallen
Oh what so this havin curve it's a
hungry cat
angry cat gonna do can we get the baby
back
now mascots this evening Shaun if you
got a mascot
what mascot jimick so never work so I
thought I've used this part of the show
as an opportunity to promote a product
which I'm very excited about oh go on
a young guy a young entrepreneur got in
touch with me about this and he asked me
he asked me to promote it you know he's
actually came to me he said look
absolutely before you go any further I'm
in you've seen what George Clooney did
for Nespresso I think you can do
I think you could do the same for the
mobile condiment delivery system you
know you're out somewhere and you buy a
burger or hotdog for example delicious
and then you go to the source counter
and it's disgusting their bottles are
all congealed yeah sometimes they've run
out and then you just squeeze into a
yellow water and to you face a problem
well that problem is immediately solved
I'm not an example of it now Suzy a hot
dog would you like a hot dog there we go
would you like some ketchup on there I
just do that and it's expertly delivered
[Laughter]
and then would you write but it's a bit
of mustard on that yeah a bit of mustard
on that I felt peckish and aroused at
the same time perfectly dog and then you
can just get on with whatever you need
to do you haven't got involved in the
scrum around the condiment area to hit
there at the end
can I ask about the dials on the side
Sean there seems to be some dials on the
side well this is these don't work yet
this is months of the year right the
idea is that if you say forearm you
switch it to December you've got red
sauce and cranberry sauce there
hopefully we're gonna get one with
hummus but you need compressed air
should have to have a tank on your back
John Vic and Rob have 24 points but
tonight's winners with 52 Shaun Joe and
John Oh
I don't I really don't to make a fool of
myself on those very important sweet
dignity something in common it's been
very essential to my work compromise
that you know even though I have won a
drumkit okay that said there's a little
bit of mustard leaking at your nipple
Shawn have you got a mascot we know
these days a lot of bouches and I think
that it's a huge market and I'm gonna
move into it so I've come up with a
system of bouches for different things
for example this one is about you from
Dignitas you buy one you get one free
and if you take part in their loyalty
scheme you can get the whole family done
what pet owner wouldn't be delighted to
open an envelope and find that they had
a voucher for a free worming dog or a
large cat I've got it quite a few of
these pouches Jimmy it is one this is
meat kid Creole I've got quite a lot of
these
whose kicked reals idea me I think he's
just lonely and he wants to meet people
where are they redeemable those ones oh
you just have to know there's loads of
information which it becomes with the
voucher okay that's a contact good
Creole I mean seem to say anything on
the back hey this may come as a shock to
you but I'm doing jokes
okay this one allows you she pulled the
emergency cord on a train everybody
wants to do that once in their life
obviously no one should try doing that
unless you have a voucher and then just
go the red face people come towards you
during the Russia this why this is this
this is a good one this allows you to
shoplift up to the value of 100 pounds
you get caught you just go yeah and of
course you don't need to use it till you
get caught in the middle of Stonehenge
be a dentist for a day
oh sure a few up and this one up to ten
minutes before it starts
you can cancel a school nativity play
they're all about to go they've got
their wings on and you just hold that up
to the heat
you could masturbate in front of a
junior member of staff Jimmy uh-oh
expired in 1975
shows batteries everyone
yeah you've got a mascot this evening oh
yeah I found this thing you know
sometimes you find something you go this
is just hilarious I can't believe I've
found something this much fun it's just
brilliant and a face a singing fish and
it sings a song
so when did you find this I found it the
other day the other day do you mean the
early 90s I think these are gonna be big
I'll just have some of this
[Laughter]
[Applause]
also found this someone wants to take a
biscuit and they ain't open it and they
go things going on what's gonna happen
why is this why is he storing them
[Music]
[Applause]
it's without number
good luck editing this let's put those
down I'm just showing something if you
angle it just right it tops the top of
your piece you can eat I'm not worried
about having a girlfriend told you 15
times
[Laughter]
[Music]
I do have a mascot Jimmy yeah here it is
what what sir what's this it's my new
thing Jimmy your new thing I arranged
through to find something that was I
could express my creative side soothing
relaxing it was something that I just I
went on a course as I stepped in there
with ghee it just set me free it
literally just set me free and he taught
me I mean like what reason okay I've
done one Bowl through that I've arranged
right and one just day I think maybe boy
they on the production team did this I
looks like a zookeepers bucket doesn't
to disgrace but my skills aren't just
I'm not even finished yet my skills
aren't just with true once I realized I
had this talent I thought I could do it
with biscuits I just emptied a chain and
just went like that yeah Wow and I can I
can turn it to anything I do I do pine
cones for a lot of Premiership
footballers
I'm also moving its cheese boards have
you ever seen a better cheese board it'd
be a crime to eat any of that too a lot
of people arrange cheese boards in
different ways some people do it in the
region some people do it for hard cheese
- soft cheeses I've done my cheese board
politically so we've got some Manchego
there we've got some compte from France
we've got some Dolce latte from Italy
we've got some Dutch Gelder there and
from England we've got some cheddar -
cheese base brexit Jack
you're lucky mascot this week lucky
mascot
I've got unlucky I've got a lucky pen
I've got it from a very unusual bookies
and I find it very useful I better put
it better on I always use Claude this is
cool I didn't want him stuffs he wanted
to be stuff it's the numbers round just
for you guys and John your turn to pick
come on Sean you want to play a lot for
fun sort of personal battle between you
could play the claw I've already got him
just check what's in it for me my pen I
don't think there's enough let's the lid
off this but it's actually a stuffed
grizzly
it's impractical but it really serves
his purpose you are you playing along
with miles but not for claude max money
in the grass i won't i won't spit on you
when we're having sex tonight
good luck trying here without spit
I'm working to tear up she was just very
calling the office not just
as in five city
[Music]
nice guy
[Applause]
I'm not competitive at all I'm just kind
of an easygoing drifter kind of they
call me the breeze rolling down the road
looking for more adventure easygoing you
know just whichever way the wind blows
that's where I go you know everywhere I
leave I just leave footprints a smile
and a faint whiff of chamomile tea