In a turn of events that surprised exactly no one, Star Wars: The Force Awakens became
one of the biggest hits of the past several years, and scored some pretty great reviews
to boot.
It borrowed heavily from the first Star Wars film, sure, but it sprinkled in enough fresh
ideas to balance out the nostalgia perfectly.
So the film is pretty great!
But...that doesn't mean there aren't a few things in there that might make you scratch
your head.
Here are the dumb things we all ignored in Star Wars: The Force Awakens.
So...what's the First Order's whole deal anyway?
In the original Star Wars trilogy, the Rebellion fights for freedom from the tyranny of the
Empire.
The Empire is, well, an empire: it's a huge, evil government that rules the galaxy with
an iron fist.
Makes sense, right?
But in The Force Awakens, it's the Resistance that fights against the First Order.
And the First Order is...what, exactly?
If the Rebellion defeated the Empire, and the galaxy is now governed by the New Republic,
then what the heck is the First Order?
What do they do, and why?
And where'd they get the resources to build an entire planet made of Death Stars?
Curious fans can hit up Google for the First Order's unexplained backstory.
But seriously: we shouldn't have to chase down the answers to some pretty basic questions
by digging into The Force Awakens Visual Dictionary that kids buy at elementary school book fairs.
R2-D2's perfect timing
That little data file that led to Luke's hidden location served as a great carrot to dangle
in front of everyone and keep this movie, uh, rolling.
If there's one thing Star Wars does great, it's hiding important information in adorable
robots.
"What message?
The one that you've just been playing.
The one that you're carrying in your rusty innards."
But BB-8 only has a piece of the map.
So, naturally, the little guy wonders about other droid who spent some time as a rolling
flash drive: R2-D2.
In fact, he asks R2 about whether or not he's got the rest of the map everybody needs.
And then this happens:
"You're wasting your time.
It is very doubtful that R2 would have the rest of the map in his backup data.
I'm afraid not.
R2 has been in low power mode ever since Master Luke went away."
But C-3PO is totally wrong, as we find out at the end of the film, when R2 suddenly wakes
up — just in time to put everybody back into a good mood.
That's great timing, R2.
But...hadn't the Resistance ever tried to look through R2's memory before?
He literally has a computer for a brain!
Nobody dug out a USB cable and plugged him into the computer?
No one in the Resistance has heard of Ctrl-F?
Captain Phasma is not very Phantastic
Captain Phasma is undeniably cool, what with her shiny armor, fancy cape, and slick British
accent.
And then...she goes down like a sack of potatoes.
And then, she pretty much caves immediately.
Finn tells her to bring down the shields across the base, and she does it without a fight.
Did she only get that fancy stormtrooper suit because she's, like, General Hux's cousin
or something?
Hunks don't need parachutes
Remember when Finn and Poe crash land on Jakku, and Finn takes Poe's jacket from the smoking
wreckage?
It sure seemed like Poe was dead...until he showed up again for the last act of the movie.
We never find out how he survived.
Or even why he left his styling jacket behind.
The reason?
Poe was actually dead — at least, in the first bunch of drafts of the screenplay.
Apparently director J.J.
Abrams was so taken with actor Oscar Isaac's performance, he decided to keep Poe around
after all.
Too bad we can't say the same for every pilot in Star Wars, of course.
"Cover me, Porkins."
"I'm right with you Red 3."
"Got a problem here."
"Eject."
"I can hold it."
"Pull up."
"No, I'm alright…"
Sorry, Porkins.
Shoulda been handsomer.
A Most Convenient Chasm
The film ends with a climactic battle between Rey and Kylo Ren, as she takes the emo Vader
wannabe to the woodshed.
By the end of the fight, Kylo Ren has a few holes in him and Rey is triumphant.
Then, a very convenient hole opens up right between them, allowing Ren to be rescued before
Starkiller Base explodes.
This, of course, is highly symbolic of the ideological divide between Rey and Kylo Ren.
One has embarked on the path of the Jedi, while the other has turned his back on it
forever.
Good versus evil.
Dark versus light.
Oh, and keeping your exciting new bad guy alive so he can come back and give your heroes
a hard time in the sequel.
Too bad we can't say the same for every exciting new bad guy in Star Wars, of course.
Sorry, Darth Maul.
Shoulda been, uh...Kylo Rennier.
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