- If a parent offers the option,
you can play with this doll or you can play with this ball,
and the boy chooses the ball,
my theory is because early humans,
like the men, as far as I'm concerned, hunted.
- I mean, is there a reason why
the men were the ones hunting?
- Probably because they were stronger.
(light-hearted orchestral music)
- Hi, I'm Nanta.
- Hi, I'm Willow.
- Willow? Nice to meet you.
- Hi, I'm Brianna.
- Hey, Brianna, I'm Nanta.
- Nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you.
- Okay, so can I start asking questions?
(laughing)
- Mom, you said, think of some questions
and be prepared. I'm prepared.
- Do you know why we're here today?
- Not really.
- Not really, okay.
- I think it has something to do
with like, gender non-binary?
- Or non-conforming.
- Yeah. Yeah, both, yeah
so gender non-conforming and non-binary.
- What's gender non-conforming?
- Well, what do you think it is?
- Something about gender, 'cause
I hear the word "gender" in it.
- Do I look like a girl to you?
- Yes.
- Well, what if I told you, that sometimes
though, I feel more like a boy?
- That's okay.
- So binary, boy and a girl.
So non-binary, meaning...that's
- The opposite. - Yeah, exactly,
that's a bunch of croc, right?
You can be one end, the other end, or anywhere in between.
- That's interesting.
- But confusing.
- So, let's really start getting into some questions.
Do you wish you were raised not as a girl but just an anta?
- Yes, totally, it would have been great
to just be marked like, x-gender.
You know, not boy, not girl.
Coming into my own skin later in life
would have been a lot more easier.
Did you always know you're a girl?
- Yeah. - Okay.
Has that ever changed for you, or...?
- No. - No.
How did you know you were a girl?
- I feel it in my body.
- Yeah.
- I'm a boy, not a girl.
- But people think he's a girl.
- Oh, so people think you're a girl?
- I've been called a girl, I think 309 times now?
And I like my hair out just how it is.
(laughing)
- What makes a boy a boy?
- An X and a Y chromosome.
- Oh, wow.
So like, is there anything to name,
like on the outside of somebody that makes them a boy?
- Like um...
- Genitalia?
- What?
- Yeah.
- No, that's also genetics, but like
- Well, yeah, but like, that's
on the outside, I'm just saying.
- Are we talking about like...
- Like, looking? - Emotions?
- Or like, emotional? Or like, hormonal,
or like, genetical? Genetics. - Or like, feelings?
I don't know where we're going.
- Yeah. (laughing)
- Have you ever heard about like,
how people try to say like, pink is a girl thing?
And then like how, blue is like a boy color?
- Yeah, I hear about that even though
blue is one of my favorite colors.
- Yeah, right.
So you see how confusing that could feel like?
When it's like, I wanna do this and that.
- If a parent offers the option with no bias,
hey, you can play with this doll
or you can play with this ball.
And the boy chooses the ball, my theory
is because early humans, like the men,
as far as I'm concerned, hunted.
And so it's sort of like genetically,
men prefer things that move you around.
I don't know, that's like completely a theory in terms of
- I mean, is there a reason
why the men were the ones hunting?
- Probably because they were stronger.
- And I think that's where I'm kind of am like,
ugh really? I'm strong, why can't I be a hunter, too?
- Well, yeah, but like, in terms of muscle mass,
men have like, and I mean, they
probably weren't thinking about that.
- Mhm.
- Does your family ever get mad at you
for what you want to identify?
- Oh yeah.
I think it's different now that I'm an adult,
but growing up, my mom would force me
to wear a dress that I don't really want to wear.
- I don't really like wearing dresses or skirts, too.
So I feel really uncomfortable when I'm wearing this skirt.
- Yeah. But did you get to choose your outfit today?
- No.
(laughing)
- So, you know exactly how I feel then.
- Yeah. - Ugh.
- How do you know if somebody's gender non-conforming?
Is it okay to ask somebody what their gender is?
- So, it's a lot better to ask about the person's pronouns.
- That would be like, he or she or they?
- Right. Versus, if I said,
- What's your gender?
- Yeah, what's your gender?
Are you a boy or are you a girl?
- Seems like you are very interested
in knowing. - (laughing) Yeah, yeah.
So have you ever been confused
by using they/them as a pronoun for someone?
- I mean, sometimes it can be confusing,
but I also have to remember that that's the pronouns
that they've chosen and I need to respect that.
I've noticed, someone in my class first period
has the pronouns that they would like on their backpack.
- Oh, really? Oh, that's cool.
I've been to the Philippines.
- Oh, I like the Philippines.
- Oh, you've been there, too? - Yeah.
- Yeah, that's where my family's from, and
- Where my mom's from.
- Okay.
They use the term "siya."
So "siya" is like all encompassing of every gender.
You know. - That's pretty cool.
- Yeah. (laughing)
- There's a girl who works at my tutoring center
and she goes by they/them,
and then a lot of times I'll, like I just didn't call
she, and then I'm like, "Oh wait, no. I'm sorry."
- Yeah.
Does she ever- er, sorry, see even I made that mistake.
Do they ever address it with like,
or correct people who may use a different pronoun for them?
- No, but somebody else might.
- How does being non-binary affect your day to day life?
- Looking for a job, there's times where
before going into an interview,
I totally just want to wear these slacks
and a button up shirt,
but will it be more likely to get the job
if I wore a dress suit or something, you know?
- Why is gender such a big deal?
- You know, sometimes I wish it really wasn't.
How do you feel about, is it a big deal to you?
- No, I just figure like why can't they just be a person?
- Yeah.
Do you all think gender is a big deal?
- No.
Well, I mean, if someone was identified
as neither boy nor girl, it's not a big deal to me
if they were in between but like,
gender is a big part of who you are.
- That's real, yeah.
Thanks. (laughs)
Do you like handshakes?
- Yeah. - Okay.
(sound effects) oh, I'm sorry. (sound effects)
And boop. (laughs)