One of the things that I worked
with Mr. Melvin and Mr. Marvin on today
was unfinished business.
Because that unfinished business bubbles to the top.
And will make us do and say things
that then we feel sorry about later.
So over the past couple of days, y'all have
been rating your relationships with each other.
Have you not?
Let us take a look at those why don't we?
And I really want you to notice if they've gone up or down.
If you have any relationship in your life
that's not an eight or better, either the relationship,
you need to let the relationship go,
or you have unfinished business, eight or better.
Does anybody in here have a relationship with somebody
that's over an eight?
Good.
And who's your relationship with over an eight?
Marcus.
Why?
I'm comfortable with him.
Let me ask you this.
Do you always tell him the truth?
Yeah.
Can you hear the truth from him?
He's the only one I can.
Why?
I depend on him for a lot of stuff mentally.
Like, I have breakdowns.
I have weak moments.
I know he understands me.
I can call on him.
So why didn't you call him before you slashed your wrists.
I didn't want to be helped.
And how did that make you feel that you've
always been there for your brother and he didn't call you?
How did that make you feel?
I felt irritated and I felt, I was a little sad because I'm
like, if you know, if it would have worked,
then I would have had to accept that.
And you would have been gone.
I would never talk to you again.
It would have been like that.
And then it was crazy, because days before that,
I was actually going through like,
I think I was just depressed or something
and I was going to call you.
But I didn't want to put my depression on you.
So I really fell bad.
I was like, damn, if I would have just called him
two days ago, he wouldn't have did it, because he would have
realized, I'm in the same state you in right now,
as far as the mind state.
But see, then you don't tell him the truth.
Respect him enough to know he can handle it.
Right?
Yes.
Who's your eight or better?
Michael.
Marcus.
Mikuel, and Marvin.
With Marvin, it's almost like you approve of me
and you're not condemning me.
Michael, you come to me with being truthful.
You get in your moves and sometimes you don't dig,
you just want to talk and spill your guts and it's always,
you know, Mama, don't take it personal.
Still love you but, I [INAUDIBLE]..
And I can respect that.
Mr. Michael, do you remember when you came here
before, you wept and cried because you thought
your mother didn't like you?
Yes.
Did you hear what she said about you?
- Yes. - Yeah.
So you were mistaken.
Anybody else got an eight?
Yes.
Who's your eight?
Michael and Mom. OK.
- And Mel. - And Mel.
Made the cut.
[LAUGHING]
You got a eight. Yeah.
Let's celebrate that.
[CLAPPING]
Yeah.
Why is Michael your eight?
Because I finally started understanding Mike, you know.
And it took for me to like be lonely and be by myself
to understand how he felt. You know,
he's more than them videos.
As far as Melvin, this is my baby brother, right?
I can't not love him as much as I can.
But I don't know, I don't understand as much of him
as I should.
But that genuine-- like, he's genuinely going to tell
you exactly how he feels.
And you can believe what he's saying.
He's saying he don't like you today, he don't like you today.
[LAUGHING]
It's a real answer.
You know, yeah, he's spoiled, but this is our--
my little brother.
Who else has an eight?
Yeah, who's your eight, Michael?
Oh, I go Marcus, and I got Mikuel.
IYANLA: Mikuel?
Mikuel.
is the one I can go to when I need him.
He talks to me.
I'll go and kick it with him.
He's like my, kind of like a best friend I never had.
We can relate.
We can talk about certain things.
We just do what we got to do.
[INAUDIBLE] people I can hang out with.
You know what I'm saying, so.
My and him, we ain't never crashed,
so we always had good conversation, good times,
listening to music and all.
Eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.
You just kick.
And Marcus, he's fun to be around me.
And he's, in real life, he's really laid back.
He ain't like this monster, but I think he raised two people.
He got a nice kind of heart, and if I needed him, he'd be there.
Mr. Melvin, who's your eight or better.
No one.
No one?
No.
Wow.
That may not be healthy.
I'm at a place with my personal growth.
I still have work to do to where I can even work on this.
So I just need time to work on me
and not letting the past, you know, [BLEEP] with my head.
Sorry. - OK.
That's OK.
I's rather you to be authentic and not hold on to it.
Let's celebrate that.
[CLAPPING]
Hey, go there when you gotta go there.
Miss Kizzy, who's your eight?
Marvin.
Why is Marvin your eight.
He works my nerve.
He's queen messy.
But, he's my go to.
I feel safe with Marvin.
(WHISPERING) All these emotions.
I know that I can call and I can talk to him.
He gets me together.
If I'm not being honest, he pulls the truth out of me.
Excellent.
Let's celebrate that truth and let's celebrate.
[CLAPPING]
Marvin, who's your eight?
Well, I put down Mikuel.
But I gave him a ten.
Oh, OK.
Why did you--
Because I feel like Mikuel is--
like we talk almost every day now.
And he's always calm.
I think we are so much alike.
He is just like easy to deal with.
You know, yeah.
And we always talk and, you know,
I can't talk to him about certain stuff, cause you know,
he don't want to get messy.
But but, yeah, but Mikuel is just a laid back, cool dude.
And he remind me so much of myself.
So we ain't never really clashed.
So that's my number 10.
Can I tell you something?
Y'all can clash and still be eight, nine, and 10.
Yeah.
You're different people.
You're not always going to get along and agree.
You're not.
You can clash.
It's OK.
And just because you all clash, doesn't mean you
have stopped loving each other.
We clashed yesterday, right?
Right.
Came right back.
And here we go.
Don't be afraid.
This is not the group home.
It's not the foster home.
Nobody's going to put you out or keep your dinner from you.
Y'all got to get out of the past.
Stop looking through that filter.