Hey guys, welcome back thanks for joining me for another video if you're new to my channel, my name is Stephanie
I am a life and relationship coach
This week. I wanted to dive into why empaths attract
narcissus and this is a really important topic because if you have been in a relationship with someone who's narcissistic and you are
Empathetic highly methodical or an empath are highly sensitive
chances, are you want to know how on earth could I have attracted the same of a person into my life and it could be
A romantic relationship. It could be a friendship. It doesn't really matter
So let's get right into this week's video also at the end of this video. I'm going to be doing a free coaching giveaway
So make sure to stay tuned at the end of the video to find out how you can get free coaching with me
So let's get right into this
so if you're watching this video chances
Are you're an empath or you think you're an empath or you're highly sensitive and you have attracted someone who's a narcissistic into your life?
so an empath is someone who is
very
naturally in tune
With how others are feeling so that means that you can feel people's energies on a very deep level
you can get very drained very quickly if you're in the wrong and type of
Environments or even if you're just in large social settings, sometimes it can very much
Overwhelm you you are caring and compassionate and loving like I said, you're just a natural
caregiver you are loyal and loving loyal to a fault sometimes actually and
You believe the good in everyone. So you believe that everyone is good
and while these are all amazing qualities to have
The downfall with someone who is an empath because they want to believe
everyone is like them and everyone is loving and there's good and everyone that they sometimes in because they love
To a fault. Sometimes they're loyal to a fault that they are prime targets for abuse
So because an empath is able to connect with others on such a deep level
Because they're able to see things within a person that perhaps the person themselves
Can't even see so if an empath can
Look at someone and say I know why you do that you do that because of this this and this and then I have such
Empathy and compassion for the fact that you went through this in your life, which caused you to have this certain behavior
so that's kind of the way an impact works is even though this bag either is happening an impact can see
Why that bad behavior is happening and they have such empathy and compassion for what someone
Went through that caused this, you know disorder or this behavior what's outburst to happen?
And because they believe everyone is good
They will love to a fault
So they will love and love and love and want to nurture and care gives so much in hopes of helping this person
and so sometimes that codependent thing can kind of dip in and most codependents are empathetic and highly sensitive not all but a
Large majority of someone who is you know, severely codependent has a very empathetic gene in them
Right they care so much. I want to help others that it becomes
Something that actually hurts them in their relationships
Now while an empath is obviously highly empathic a narcissist has absolutely no empathy at all
So a narcissist is just like we know me me me. I'm self-absorbed. I'm self-centered. I need narcissistic supply
I need a need and need things from other people outside of myself because I can't fill myself up and I have such a fragile
Ego then I need all of these things and an empath is a natural Giver a natural caregiver
So they want to give and give and give to help the world to heal the world
That's just how they innately are built
So when you have one person that is a natural Giver
And one person who's a natural taker you can understand why how this dynamic even starts. Is that the impact?
possibly codependent empath gets hooked up with a
narcissist who just wants to take and take and take and an empath loves to give and give and give it's just what they
Naturally do so now because an empath wants to believe the good in everyone and they love to a fault
They're loyal to a fault. This is
Perfect for a narcissist because what's gonna happen is I'm gonna groom you I'm a narcissist
I'm gonna groom you in the beginning of the relationship. I'm gonna do all of these things
especially if you're dealing with a codependent and path
I'm gonna do all of these things to hook you in to make you believe that I'm loving your life and
you're gonna fall for it and then as the
relationship starts
progressing and I know I've got you you're in this relationship either you've moved in you've been with this person for a long period of
Time you're in love with each other. You're married. You have children you're invested in this relationship
They know you're not going anywhere because you're not a person that just jumped ship
You're a person that loves to a fault you are loyal you are
You're just a person that wants a normal
Relationship where you don't just give up on a relationship so easily because you have some bumps in the road
So the narcissist knows that so they've completely loved mom.you. They've hooked you and now you're invested in this relationship
And now this is when the abuse starts to happen
This is when that abusive cycle starts to happen that I've talked about in other videos
This is when the math starts to fall off a narcissist is going narcissus is an abuser
So they need to be with people that are enablers people that forgive their bad behavior time and time again
then enable
you know their behavior and whatever it is that they want to do because life the world revolves around them and it's all about what
They need and every single moment. It's very much like a child
And so if I'm with someone who's empathetic that's a natural Giver and someone who's extremely loyal and caring
Compassionate then they're gonna forgive me time and time again because as I do something wrong and I asked for forgiveness as a narcissist
I'm going to do that abusive cycle. I'm gonna love bomb you after I apologize and I'm going to you know
bring you back to that first time when we started dating or whatever that period where you fell in love with me and I'm gonna
do all the right things and this is where the empath or codependent empath is gonna start having cognitive dissonance where I'm seeing
behaviors
I saw this person in the beginning then I see bits and pieces of someone different the mask is coming off and now I'm seeing
that person in the beginning all over again and it's a
Psychological you know, it's it's such a mental manipulation. It's
Confusing mentally and psychologically to people that they get trapped in these
Relationships for a very long period of time because they don't believe what they see. They don't know what they're seeing
They're kind of so confused that an you know, I'm an empath I'm loyal and I'm not gonna just leave right away
So they get hooked time and time again. So now if I'm an empath and I'm also codependent
That's just really a cocktail for severe abuse because I can be empathetic
but I also can be not codependent and very self loving so I can be empathetic and want to believe the good in everyone and
I'm going to be a natural giver, but I'm gonna learn how to keep that
Empathy in check and not give to someone who doesn't deserve it deserve it who hasn't earned it who I haven't
We haven't built a foundation of trust yet. So a healthy empath will still be empathetic
Absolutely, but they would have learned how to put healthy walls around themselves and not just giving you a give and not naively
Go through life thinking
everyone feels and things like they do because that's not the case now if I'm a codependent impact then that means that
Like all codependence. I need love I crave love I have a fear of being alone
I have all these emotional wounds going on inside of myself, and I haven't healed any of them yet
So I'm looking
For someone to save me so to speak to love me to give me all the things that I don't know how to give myself
and if you're dealing with a narcissist that person is going to
Give you everything you need and it's gonna be in that love-bombing phase
So I'm gonna give you everything that you need because again this narcissist knows you very well
They know they may not know that you're a codependent
But they know that you need certain things in order for them to get what they want out of you
in order for them to abuse you so
They know
what they need to do in order to hook you in to then be able to do whatever they want and abuse you and like
I said the cycle continues and continues. So how do empaths stop attracting?
narcissus into their lives
I think number one
You're watching this chances. Are you you possibly have some codependency issues. So you absolutely need to
tackle that demon right there, but I think the first thing is
Everyone should know what abuse looks like everyone should know what emotional abuse looks like. Everyone should know
Narcissistic abuse and know what that cycle looks like in a relationship and I think you know physical abuse that's pretty obvious
sexual abuse I would hope that physical and sexual abuse is obvious for people but I think learning on what abuse actually looks like in
A relationship for me that's step one. You absolutely need to know that because you need to know in certain situations
Oh my god, this person's giving me they're gaslighting me or you know
they're being passive-aggressive or they're giving me the silent treatment or
Whatever that looks like right whatever tactic someone's using on you
If you don't know that someone's giving you that tactic then how do you know that you're being abused?
So the second thing is you have to learn how to love yourself
So what I was talking about tackling that codependent demon that means that you need to dive into
Self development you have to dive into okay
Where are all my emotional wounds but I think for most of us, we all typically have the same wounds
It's just that I'm not enough wound and when I always say and I say it everywhere. It's on my website
It's my tagline everything in life starts with you
And the reason why I say that is because when you are good to go you will just attract
healthy things into your life if I fully love myself and I love my life and I'm in a good space and I
Enjoy my life
I'm not gonna let anyone come into my life and
Ruin what I have built because I I have a great life and I'm happy where I am
And you don't want anyone in your life that's going to hurt that happiness that you've built so hard
To have into your life, right?
So if I love myself and I know what I think I know what I feel. I trust my intuition
And I don't allow anyone to Gaslight me and I know what a healthy relationship should look like, even if I've never had one
I know how I want to feel when I'm with the right person if you those things and you've really worked on yourself
And that means that you have confidence in yourself
That means that you know how to set boundaries, you know how to enforce boundaries
You know how to verbally communicate with other people
You know how to respond and not react and get emotionally involved and with art in arguments with people and things of that sort
so all of those things
Means you're not a good source of narcissistic supply for anyone who is an abuser
So it's not always about all right
Let me learn everything on narcissism so I can make sure that I can spot it next time. I see it
That's not gonna help you because if you haven't healed any of that stuff inside and you haven't worked on yourself
It doesn't matter if you're able to spot a narcissus or not
you're still gonna fall for all of the traps and you're gonna overlook all of the red flags because you haven't
Tackle the demons that are going on inside of you. And again, I think another great point is when you're out there dating
Understanding what healthy dating looks like you know
Not just giving yourself to everyone that you meet and learning how to have healthy walls up
I think we should all have walls up with people not walls where we block
love from people right that we've known someone for a long period of time and and
When you have an unhealthy wall up
That means that you don't feel comfortable to be vulnerable with someone because you don't trust you
Don't trust that even if that person leaves that you'll be okay
So you haven't learned how to really love yourself and take care of yourself
and what I what I've been hearing often from people is they've gone through these
Experiences and now they say well it's hard for me to trust other people and it's not about trusting other people
It's about learning how to love yourself and trusting yourself
So learning how to date in a healthy way is not coming from lack number one
It's not going out on a date and being like oh my god, is this gonna be the person? Oh my god
I'm so nervous
what if this is the person and trying to be something that you're not and
impressed that person it's you just going on some interviews and seeing if you have a connection with someone and
Even if in the couple of dates you do have a little bit of a connection and a spark is there
you still have to build on that there's a foundation that needs to built and
Using more logic than emotion in the beginning of your relationship or in the beginning of that dating phase
in order for you to pick the right person and
Not get so emotionally involved and that's why sometimes I say especially for women if you know that
you're very emotional and that if you are intimate with a man that you know that you're gonna
Immediately start either falling in love with him or really having strong feelings for him
Then you shouldn't be sleeping with anyone until you know
for sure that this is the guy for you that you trust him that you've built a
Little bit of that foundation in that trust with him
I hope that this video has helped you understand why and past sometimes
attract a narcissistic people and I hope I gave you some great tips on how to make sure that you don't attract a
Narcissist ever again. And like I said it all has to do with working on yourself
So I hope you've enjoyed this video if you guys are interested in getting a free coaching session with me all you have to do
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You're trying to set a goal whether you have questions about a relationship that you're going you're in right now
Doesn't matter so you guys know what to do and thank you again, and I'll see you in my next video