technically dear why don't we talk a
little bit about respect I want to be
respected I want everybody to respect me
all the time you know you would imagine
that someone of my level of success
would be respected by everybody and that
everybody should try to be like me
everyone should try to be respected and
everyone should be demanding respect
from everybody around them that is a
sign of success that is how you know you
are becoming more successful and what we
should be trying to do is create
everybody with respect and get to the
point where if we think highly enough of
ourselves if we're not getting respected
we don't work now this became clear to
me in a recent incident where I went
into the office at 7:30 a.m. one day now
the cafe does not open until 8 a.m. so I
was going to burn 30 minutes of my time
waiting for the food to be served and so
I thought well okay I'm not going to
wait for breakfast I'm just going to go
grab a simple pay go put on some cream
cheese and then I'm going to get my day
started you know I really wanted to
start working earlier that day I had a
lot of things I wanted to do and so what
happened was I went in the bagels were
all laid out the cream cheese was out
there ready to go
and I began grabbing it and nobody was
there
and then someone showed up and said hey
we're not open I was like very politely
I said what can I just get this cream
cheese and they said no I was like ok so
then I went on my way and I saw some
bacon bacon was out there all set up
ready to go I wasn't going to mess
anything up so I went to try and pick up
one or two slices and then someone said
again we're not open and I couldn't get
the big rounds like can I just have one
or two slices and they said no now some
people would say that I was
disrespectful one for going in before
hours before a.m. before the cafe
officially opened and and then other
people like me might say that it was
actually the cooking staff that were
disrespectful to me because number one
it spoke to me in a tone that was
uncalled for like I thought they were
extremely rude this is something my
family would never do to me if I came
and I wanted like a bagel under cream
cheese and Zadar ready to go my parents
my family my friends anyone I personally
knew who supported me would encourage me
to eat earlier so I could get my day
started so I can support the company and
build whatever I need to do start
solving bugs earlier start strategizing
earlier start getting things done and
ultimately contribute to the success of
the company now the problem I have here
is when I tell other people this story
they say that I need to show the cook
some more respect and I think that's a
very interesting thing to say because
nobody gets respect from the people that
they serve ok if you think about me as a
software engineer I serve people too I
serve the hundreds of millions of users
who may be using apps and you know I may
be getting interrupted at all times of
the day every engineer is on call and
every engineer is working essentially
24/7 anytime there's a critical bug or a
critical issue they could be caught in
on weekends in the middle of the night
you know when they're really tired and
yeah it's kind of rude to call an
engineer in on the weekend to do a
little bit of work to handle an
emergency situation but they don't just
say hey that's a little bit rude can you
ask me nicely can you like I'm off now
and that is why they're not necessarily
asking for respect even if you look at
the CEOs like say Elon Musk for example
there's a lot of people who respect him
but there's tons of people who
disrespect him and you'll find that
that's his job his job is to manage that
disrespect to go in and to deal with
lots of different people and different
opinions and to build consensus like my
job is sometimes to go in and to deal
with people who may not necessarily
agree with what I have to say maybe
they're even a little bit hostile a
little bit rude in the technical
discussions and you know I just need to
get everybody on board at the same time
on a certain problem and build that
consensus so that we can move forward
that part is managing the disrespect
that could be
happening and even if you look at
doctors maybe there's a patient who's in
pain and screaming at the doctor to give
him help give him medicine the doctor
doesn't just say well you weren't too
respectful to me
so I'm not going to help you ask me
politely the doctors job is to manage a
crisis manage people who are screaming
and shouting all over the place and to
help that person he doesn't just say you
know forget it yeah I'm like you weren't
nice to me and if you were to look at
you know janitors the same right like
you might literally pee poor poop
somewhere and ask somebody to clean that
up for you right and there's no way this
can be respectful and yeah it is the
janitors job he is paid to serve you he
is paid to take care of this for you now
there's no need to necessarily be rude
or mean to anybody I don't think anybody
has been that way necessarily in a
relationship where you have a customer
who is asking something from you and you
need to serve that customer the customer
may sometimes be in a hurry maybe in
some emergency thing may have certain
needs may just simply not be in a good
mood on that certain day your job
generally should be to support that
person let me put it this way everybody
is plain support okay everyone is
supporting somebody my job may be to
support all the users of an app the
cooking job is also playing support
they're supporting a different group of
people instead of supporting the
customers they are supporting the
employees of a business and their job
should be to ensure that the employees
are fed such that they can do their work
and eventually we all contribute to a
company's success right like if you have
a soldier the soldier does the fighting
which wins the battle and wins the war
but the soldier also needs a bunch of
support the soldier needs to be fed the
soldier needs medics the soldier needs
communications operations after the cook
then the cooks primary job is to make
sure that every soldier is fed and ready
to go battle and so in this situation I
imagine myself as like a soldier and I'm
here to do my best work to try to
support the company
and then we have a cook the cooks
mission should be to support me to make
sure that I'm fed ready to go ready to
go out and do my best work what's the
point in saying well the food's there is
all ready to go we're just not going to
let people start eating it simply
because we're going to make a rule that
you know we just don't open until 30
minutes later so yeah we can feed an
extra person we can help this person get
started earlier we can help be more
productive we can get the company to be
a little bit more successful but just
that much but we're just not gonna do it
because you know that's the rule I don't
know everyone has their own problems
everyone has their own things to deal
with but in general if somebody is only
here to do the work to get paid and to
go home that is less respectable than
somebody who is there for a higher goal
a higher mission right those people who
are here and actually believe in
something they make it their goal their
mission to feed as many people as they
can and to make sure that everybody is
well fed all of their diet restrictions
allergies vegetarian restrictions
whatever it is everything should be
taken care of and make sure they're fed
and fed as often as they need to be fed
and everyone is energized healthy ready
to go if you simply come in and you put
in the bare minimum amount of work and
you're not really thinking about helping
someone more than yourself helping the
entire company succeed and then you go
around asking that people respect you
yeah you know fine you know
yeah sure maybe you'll get your respect
right you you can get it people will
just say fine we'll respect your time
but just know that perhaps this was the
person who was only respecting
themselves they only thought about
themselves you know if they ever wanted
to attain a higher level of respect than
what they currently have then they will
up their game and bring themselves up if
you know your mission and you know your
goal then you will be able to better
understand what you're trying to do why
you want respect from certain people and
who from who you may not be as in
respect for the doctor does not ask
respect from the patients necessarily
especially those who are in high
right it does under stand the bow I'm
just here to help do a little bit more
work for all of us right I'm here
earlier than I need to be and I'm not
here asking for respect for myself for
my time I've already given that up I'm
here to do work to support the company
and yet there's other people their
vision is simply to benefit themselves
and for them that you might just say
well they're just here to support
themselves they want respect for
themselves tough luck for you you just
way that out you go burn your time and
you know let's just like let's just
watch you just burn your time and like
pointless if you ask me what this has
really devolved into is a fight for
respect people are just demanding for
respect everywhere from everybody and
they don't really understand why and
especially I would say it's easy to side
with the lower-level people right
they're the underdogs right here's like
some tech lead software engineer thing
guy and he's disrespecting somebody I
haven't disrespected anybody by the way
I've always been very polite and nice in
everything that I do and yeah it's easy
to say well let's just respect people
let's just give everybody respect and if
people want to work less let's respect
that I think respect is overused word
you know I could easily say well yeah
you know I don't really want to work
today so let's just respect my decision
to not work today yeah I want an extra
20% bonus so let's just respect that
like they don't want to allow an
engineer to get their food earlier today
so let's just respect that and like
respect my opinion respect what I want
respect everything and people are
thinking that the more respect they get
the more successful they will become
other successful people seem to be
respected a lot you know it's not really
that you know I think that loves
successful people they get respect they
also get a ton of disrespect and their
job is to deal with all of that and I
think that if you really want respect
then you would be able to respect
yourself and you would do something that
you believe is respectful and if all
you're doing is working for hours for
pay and you have no higher mission then
that's really the highest amount of
respect that you can expect to get and
so that's why
and I can respect that to whatever
degree I can and I understand that if
people just want to waste 30 minutes of
my time in the morning and not feed me
and have me sit around because I'm too
hungry to start working then fine yeah
we can do that you know that's that's
you know that's perfect
personally I would like to just see
people have a higher sense of mission a
higher sense of goals like whether if
you weren't paid that day what makes you
go in what brings you joy what gives you
fulfilment what is your purpose what are
you really trying to do here and I think
that can help you do better work and in
the end instead of asking everybody to
respect you for a little bit of work
that you're doing you will earn that
respect if you liked the video give it a
like and subscribe and I will see you
next time bye