- Last week, my entire world was turned upside down.
Apparently my mom got my birth city wrong.
So instead of a Capricorn rising, I'm an Aquarius rising.
And this news has shook me to my core.
Who am I?
My entire identity has been built on an adjacent ascendant.
And now that is a lie.
And apparently because Saturn and Jupiter went into
Aquarius for the first time in a long time, last December--
For those with Aquarius rising,
the next four years are all about
internal work and introspection.
If I get any more introspective, I just--
I just might die, you know, my body may cease to exist
and I may become a gaseous mass
on a different plane that just wanders
from therapy room to therapy room.
But until then, my normal level of introspection remains,
and I was recently talking to friends.
So I've been single for three years
and I'm dating in a global pandemic.
So it felt worth asking.
How do you know when you're supposed to sleep with someone?
- Like right now?
In the pandemic?
- Or the before time?
- I mean, in the before time, I would just kind of sleep
with someone in the first couple of dates
if I really liked them to gauge sexual chemistry.
But now...
- Yeah, same.
- Yeah, honestly, same.
Melissa, what are you talking about?
You're with your high school sweetheart.
That doesn't count.
- Yeah Melisa, you went on one date ten years ago,
and you're with the same guy.
- I mean, it's still relevant to the conversation.
- Okay, Melissa, we get it.
You have love, you were chosen.
- Congratulations, you won't die alone like the rest of us.
- Okay.
(gasps)
- Oh my God. - What?
- Listen to this. - What?
- The one question you should ask yourself before you sleep
with someone, is would I trust them to watch my pet?
- Oh my God. - I know!
- That's a great one. - I know!
- Yeah, that's really great.
- Well, it's irrelevant to you, Melissa
because you'll never have to ask yourself that.
- Yeah Melissa, okay.
99% of people don't find the one
but you somehow found the one.
So great.
- Yeah, great job.
Ace in the hole.
Take one.
Virginal bride.
- Wow.
- Jesus--
And I was fascinated by this suggestion from the internet.
And I mentally took stock.
Would I trust them to watch my pet?
- Huh? Me?
- Nope.
Mhm mhm.
- Who, me?
- Definitely not you.
- Surely me?
- Absolutely not.
- Us?
- Uh, maybe?
This barometer, this question really highlighted
how much we trust our bodies with
people we wouldn't trust our pets with.
How much more comfortable I am committing
one of the most intimate physical acts with someone
versus how uncomfortable I would feel
leaving my animal in their care.
And like, I don't think this question is necessarily like,
right as an end all be all
because your relationship to sex, my relationship to sex
it can be a myriad of things besides trust and intimacy.
It can be casual exploration, play, gauging
sexual chemistry, working out, stress reduction.
And obviously this question related more to the before time.
But even now, I feel like physical intimacy
has so much inherent danger.
You know, conversations around safety have become paramount
and asking for some kind of exclusivity,
given the nature of the virus has made navigating
people's boundaries almost like navigating a grocery store.
How can I forget my gloves!
I can't believe I forgot my gloves!
Oh no!
- Where's the beef, where's the beef?
Where's the beef?
- Six feet, six feet!
- It's by that person, can't have beef!
I'm not gonna have beef.
- Sorry, excuse me.
Sorry, sorry...
Okay.
(screams)
- It's ketchup.
It's just ketchup.
- Ugh, I hate using hand sanitizer!
(both scream)
- Oh my god, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die!
- But the question really made me pause
and think about my relationship to sex
and how I choose my partners and who I am choosing.
And I'm so curious when you hear this
like, what it's going to bring up for you.
Not only in the before time, but like now.
My therapist loves to say that humans
are hardwired for connection.
And so the pandemic's loneliness
and isolation is basically all
of us not getting our basic needs met.
And I feel it.
Sometimes like every cell in my body just craves a hug.
But now, on top of all of that, we're asking
do I trust this person to be responsible enough
to not give me a deadly virus
and potentially kill everyone I know and love?
Which includes my pets, what a fuckin' timeline we live in!
And if you're not a pet owner and this whole video
like feels really irrelevant, then you should just go
out and adopt a couple of cats like immediately.
So not only can you now find this relatable
but then you have a lifetime of happiness.
You're welcome.
I'm Anna Akana.
And thank you to the Patreons who supported today's video.
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