-Welcome, everybody!
Welcome, welcome, welcome to "The Tonight Show," everyone.
You're here. You made it. Thank you.
Thank you for watching at home. [ Cheers and applause ]
I appreciate it.
Well, guys, some big business news.
Today, JetBlue announced they reached a deal
to buy Spirit Airlines.
-Ooh! -Yes.
JetBlue and Spirit.
It's the perfect marriage between
broken TVs and broken planes.
It's unbelievable. It's -- That's right.
Spirit agreed to a deal with JetBlue
and cancelled their merger with Frontier Airlines.
Today, Frontier was like, "Well, it's Spirit.
How did we not see this cancellation coming?"
Some news from Washington.
President Biden is celebrating a huge win
after Senator Joe Manchin suddenly agreed
to support his climate and economic bill,
meaning it will now most likely pass.
[ Cheers and applause ]
This is a huge victory for Biden.
In fact, right after the announcement,
his approval rating skyrocketed to 11%.
-Oh. -That's right.
-Switching gears, apparently, this year,
Hershey doesn't think that they're going to be able to meet
the demand for Halloween.
On a related story,
Biden's approval rating just fell back under 10%.
Did you guys see this?
In an effort to be more eco-friendly,
Coca-Cola announced that sprite will no longer
be sold in green bottles.
Most Americans heard and were like,
"Damn, that was the only green thing in my diet."
That's right. Everyone had the same reaction.
They're like, "Make the bottle whatever color you want.
It's all getting filled with vodka anyway, alright?
Oh!
-Ooh! -Hey! Hey!
-Make a noise.
Fill it up. -That's right.
Sprite's getting rid of the green bottles
'cause they're not environmentally friendly.
I guess this that explains this new ad I saw.
Watch this.
-Health-Ade Kombucha is proud to announce
our new all-natural, completely waste-free bottle...
Kevin's hands.
Yep, no bottle, no can, just Kevin.
Find him and lap it up out of his hands like a dog.
That's how it works now.
Health-Ade Kombucha -- it's in Kevin's hands now.
-There you go. [ Cheers and applause ]
Yeah.
Well, get this -- a new viral TikTok trend.
People are dropping jalapeños in their wine
and calling it spicy rosé.
-Come on! Please.
That's not a new viral trend.
I've been drinking spicy rosé for years.
-Oh, really? -Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But I like mine extra spicy.
-Oh.
-Here. Let me show you how I do it.
♪♪
First, you take any glass of rosé, any old glass of rosé.
Then you simply add a few squirts of Frank's RedHot.
-Oh, man. -Just a little bit.
-I don't know. I don't know. Okay.
-Little bit. Just a little something.
Then you've got to take a little bit of Tabasco, right?
Little Tabasco sauce,
just a couple squirts.
Little bit, just something light.
Then you need a little Sriracha, right?
You got to really hit it with that Sriracha.
-Oh, my goodness. -Yeah.
-Alright, alright. Yeah. -Little bit of Sriracha, right?
Yeah, a few red-pepper flakes -- right? -- for the rim.
And then you garnish it with a Carolina reaper.
Voilà!
-Wow! And you drink that?
-Hell yeah. Cheers.
[ Cheers and applause ]
-How does it -- how does it taste?
[ Flames whooshing ]
-♪ I will remember you ♪
♪ Will you remember me? ♪
-Oh, my gosh. -That's a shame.
-He loved his spicy rosé. -Yep, he's a spicy personality.
-He's very spicy. -Yeah, moving on...
[ Laughter ]
My favorite -- -He drank it again.
-No, my favorite is that Questlove can't laugh because
he got Novocain on the side of his face.
It's the funniest thing I've ever seen.
-Ugh!
-Hey, this is fun.
Today is National Water Park Day.
-Hey!
-Yeah. [ Cheers and applause ]
There are so many great water parks out there,
and I just saw this interesting promo to celebrate them.
Take a look at this.
-Happy National Water Park Day, a day that honors
all our country's amazing water parks, like...
-Yeah. [ Cheers and applause ]
I'm excited.
Well, everyone's talking about this.
In just a few minutes,
Beyoncé is releasing her new album, "Renaissance."
[ Cheers and applause ]
Which means, tomorrow,
all banks and government buildings will be closed.
Yeah.
Speaking of Beyoncé's new album, it was actually
leaked yesterday, and her fan base, the Beyhive,
is pretty upset about it.
-Yes, we are.
So rude. Really made my blood boil.
-You're in the Beyhive?
-Uh, yeah.
Member since "Sasha Fierce."
What? You don't expect me to love music or
appreciate a queen wearing her crown?
-No, I just didn't know that we were...
both members.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Well, this is cool.
MTV has added a category for Best Metaverse Performance
to the VMAs.
Yeah. Best Metaverse Performance.
There are so many great artists who have performed
in the Metaverse this year,
so there's gonna be some competition.
Yeah, check out this concert
Post Malone did in the Metaverse.
-Oh. -Yeah.
♪♪
-[ Robotic voice ] Hello.
I am going to do singing of my song now.
Activate music.
♪♪
♪ Let's have fun time tonight ♪
♪ Baby, you are my wife ♪
♪ Hello ♪
-[ Squawking ]
-Thank you. I did the music.
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Wow.
-Hey, I heard about a man in Florida
who was arrested for a D.U.I. at Walmart
after he crashed a motorized scooter into the shelves.
Wait a second.
Walmart, drunk, scooter crash, arrested.
Bingo! I got Florida bingo! I got it! Yeah!
[ Cheers and applause ] ♪♪
Awesome.
And, finally, Fancy Feast is opening up a pop-up restaurant in
New York City that will serve cat-food-inspired dishes.
When you sit down, the waiter is like,
"Sparkling, still, or from the toilet?"
We have a great show, everyone.