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What was the best arc in the Iron Man series?
>> The one in his chest, the arc reactor.
>> No. [laughs]
>> Bam!
♪ 'Cause I'm a Modern Rogue ♪
>> ROBOTIC VOICE: Improvised body armor.
>> All right, so let's say it's the Apocalypse,
all the zombies are uprising.
They're demanding minimum wages,
and meanwhile the vampires are eating the wolverines
that are punching the Professor Xs,
and all this guy wants to do is go steal some Gatorade
from across at the Kwik-E-Mart.
How is a middle-class Joe like me, a gentleman,
a warrior, and a scoundrel, supposed to pull that off?
>> First of all, this sounds like a
really bad Dungeons & Dragons session from junior high.
I'm waiting for Mad Max to show up.
>> Also, Mad Max shows up.
>> Also Mad Max shows up, but he's got a light saber.
>> Oh my god, how amazing would that be?
>> Yes, well, you're going to need some body armor.
>> Yeah dude, how good is body armor,
and why aren't we all wearing it all the time?
>> It's a little cumbersome, it's also Texas,
and it would probably be very uncomfortable.
>> Okay, but in my mind, body armor means one thing.
We all think of Kevlar,
which of course is the super tough material
that law enforcement use.
But that's not the only way the average Joe,
"I can't afford your highfalutin' Kevlar,
"I'm too busy hiding underneath this sink,
"hoping that none of the clickers figure out I'm there."
>> Clickers are there too?
>> Yes, they're all there.
It's a really rad story.
>> The power of books, Brian.
>> You're going to make me read and learn?
>> This comes from "One Hundred Deadly Skills",
a book written by an ex-Navy SEAL.
>> Okay, how reliable?
I assume this is like the Bible of taking care of yourself?
>> We're going to find out.
>> Ooh boy,
all right. >> There's some stuff
in there that's kind of questionable
if you ask me, but that's all the more reason
for us to try it.
>> So what can happen?
You could get stabbed, poked, shot.
And this will save you from how many of those?
>> Yes.
>> Wait, really?
>> That's the idea.
It's not your first choice, but when you're under fire.
>> This is like John McClane, who's also in this universe,
meets up with MacGyver and he says,
"I don't know, man, we got to take these guys out."
And MacGyver's like, "Hold on, I've got books."
And then they team up, but they're also Voltron.
>> I'll be over here. [laughs]
>> And then he [trails off].
No?
>> All you need is what you see right here.
>> You've got books.
You got a cardigan that looks delightful,
and you've got duct tape, am I missing something?
>> Yes, we also have some cheap ceramic tiles.
[Brian laughs] Try to break it.
>> You want me to try to break it?
>> No, with your hands, just try to break it.
>> Well the problem is ceramics, when they break,
they break bad. >> Oh.
That's a good point.
>> I mean the problem is like,
like, I mean, right?
>> The plan, I have much less confidence in it.
>> Oh, all of a sudden you're not sure you're
going to be Iron Man after this.
>> Bah. >> Because before we started
you were all like, "No, it's fine."
>> Put it on me.
Let's do it. >> "I'll just fly,
you can fix the hole in the roof later."
>> You didn't even hit that very hard.
>> No, no, it's brittle, it's brittle.
>> And sharp.
>> I took a weapon and I made more weapons out
of your defense.
>> This was for peace, Brian.
[Brian laughs]
So you could get Gatorade for your family.
All right, first step.
You need at least like four hardcover books.
You could probably use like phone books
or something like that, but [smacks]
those are pretty sturdy, right, reasonably?
>> Yeah, yeah, but we've done this show a year now
and I know everyone's going to roll their eyes
when they say it, but I sincerely mean it this time.
When it comes to stopping bullets,
it doesn't seem like paper would be that strong.
>> Oh, Brian, ye of little faith.
>> Can I get an idea?
>> Yeah do it.
>> Okay, all right. >> Do it, yeah.
Let's find out.
We saw the ceramic shatter.
>> Yeah, right?
So far hatchet is the hatchet winner.
>> I'm suddenly way less gung-ho than I was going in.
After you just kind of smacked the tile and --
>> I mean, again, it's brittle.
Ooh, eye protection.
>> Eye protection.
>> I'm not going to hold back.
I am going to genuinely try, and I'm not going to go flat-on
because I know that won't get down very far.
I'm going to try to hit it with
that corner so it just goes ka-chunk.
Like in all sincerity, I want to make it all
the way down into that second book, okay?
>> Okay. >> As deeply as I can.
Give me something to shout.
>> Crom!
[Brian laughs]
>> All right, one,
two,
Crom!
Bull [beep].
[Jason laughing]
Bull [beep].
>> The power of paper.
>> God damn paper, my nemesis!
It made it down to like, you barely see a dent
on chapter four.
>> JASON: What not even half way.
>> Yeah, you want to try?
As hard as you can.
This time the line from Krull.
"Power is fleeting, love is eternal", and then zoom.
>> Can I hit you instead?
>> I'll just, I'll be back here.
>> "Power is fleeting. Love is eternal."
[whack]
[laughter]
>> All right, all right.
I'm buying it.
>> JASON: About the same.
>> Yeah, and it felt like as hard
as you possibly could with that, right?
>> Yeah that was, that was hard.
>> All right. What about stabby things?
Because that's a choppy thing.
[whack]
See that's not bad.
But I mean, like as hard as I can.
Yeah, that's not getting anywhere.
>> So you ready to start building?
>> Yeah. I'm feeling much better.
Can I tell a secret?
>> Yeah. >> You know on my stage show
I take that 30 pound concrete brick
and break it over my head.
>> Yeah. >> This is the same thing.
The reason I can do that is because the sledge hammer,
every time it hits the ceramics,
it creates thousands of micro-fractures,
and so the bulk of the force is absorbed
by that giant brick.
You see the same thing in the physics demos
where they have the sledge hammer laying on them
and they go [grunts].
These are actually meant to break.
>> Ahh, so it distributes the force.
Super effective, not reusable.
>> Correct, so here.
Take this insulation.
Soft and gushy like you. Right?
Just a blunt force object.
>> JASON: Yeah.
>> That's what that looks like.
>> Sure. >> Try it with the tile now.
>> Oh with the tile on top?
>> Right there.
[ceramic shattering]
Same thing, look at that difference.
>> Oh, yeah. >> This one is your brain
no longer works.
This one is you've got a fighting chance.
That's the power of all that fracturing.
>> That is pretty remarkably different.
I'm still disappointed these broke so easily.
>> They'll always break.
They're made to break.
That's why they're there.
>> So the first step in building these,
is we're going to make two separate plates
by taping two books together on top of each other.
>> So you want that definite thickness.
I would imagine that anything less than an inch and a half,
two inches you risk,
because at this I would suspect you might be
as much as bullet proof.
>> From some small caliber fire, yeah.
>> Like a 22 or something.
>> 22 I think it would definitely--
>> Here, you roll these, I'll roll this.
All right so you just need a brick.
I'm going to just hold this and you could just roll it.
There you go.
[duct tape ripping]
>> All right, let's do the other one.
>> So just as long as you got two bricks, you're good.
>> Yup.
[soft music playing]
[both laughing]
>> I could just hear Die Hard MacGyver
over in the corner and the bad guys are like,
"Come out, come out, wherevers you are."
And then they hear [duct tape ripping].
[both laughing]
All right here we go.
Those are bricks.
>> So we've got a couple of bricks.
>> All right, so now what?
>> Now we're going to put them together
and make another larger one.
>> Oh, make this into a whole.
And this is a good point, right?
Because when you are shooting at someone,
there's only two shots.
You've got the head shots, and then you've got
the vitals right here.
This is 100% of your vitals covered to some degree.
Right? >> Exactly.
>> You probably don't want to run around like,
you can't get a head shot!
>> It's a little suspicious.
>> Yeah.
All right, so we'll make these into one brick.
[duct tape tearing]
>> JASON: And yeah, there's no reason
to not be super generous
>> Both: with the duct tape.
>> Plus, also like the duct tape itself
I would imagine has that tensile strength, you know.
It's going to have that kind of rebound effect.
Okay, and then you were saying you need ceramics?
>> Yeah, now maybe we should scale it, like armor.
I don't know, what do you think?
>> Here's what will happen, right?
And the shattering is important, but the moment
these shatter they become dangerous.
Right? >> Yes.
>> So let's do kind of like a low-tech safety glass where--
>> Do we want to do that? >> Yeah, yeah.
I think that's great.
So it's like they're going to shatter
but all the pieces are going to be in there.
[tile clattering]
I'll put them on the.
Just, it's fine.
So I'm would say we probably want it
to be all the way completely covered, right?
>> Yeah, especially since these are going
to shatter and you're going to have all of these.
The duct tape will ideally,
already cut myself a little bit.
>> Super safe, great armor.
>> Yeah.
The duct tape will ideally hang
onto all of the little shard particles.
>> Dude, these will shatter for sure.
>> JASON: Yeah.
>> That, I assume, will have some effect
at stopping blades and bullets.
How do you attach it, you make a harness?
>> Yeah, we're going to put it like right here.
You're going to wrap it around me,
and then go over my shoulders again.
>> Got it.
This is why MacGyver and John McClane are a team.
>> Are they? >> They work together, yeah!
How else did they defeat Krull?
Come on, man!
>> More of your, yeah.
>> Team Matt and the chick from Stranger Things
shows up and she's all levitating
and she goes, "Let's do this boys."
And they're like, "We've got armor."
Here, spin.
>> I--
>> Keep going.
>> I would read this, if it were a comic book.
Out of morbid curiosity of just how bad it is.
>> How bad ass.
You left out the word ass.
>> I lived through the Clone Saga and 90's image.
>> Oh you talking about the Peter Parker?
>> Yeah, yeah. >> Oh god.
>> And it really can't be worst than like, Youngblood.
>> Oh, the nice thing about these
is they give something for this
to hook on so it becomes a proper harness.
>> Oh, yeah!
>> So you kind of hook this underneath.
There you go.
>> It was way cleaner and neater in the book.
>> I'm intentionally going to not cover up much
of this other stuff because I don't want to get
the visual illusion that this is safe to strike.
We want it really clear.
In fact, hold on.
You my friend are a new breed of superhero.
Target Man! [laughter]
>> Oh boy.
I see what you're doing.
We're going to nix putting this sweater on.
>> I mean if you want to ruin a sweater too,
I'm down for all of the above.
>> Pretty sure this is actually your sweater.
>> It's good, it's a pro job.
>> You feeling it?
>> I like it.
>> I feel like the sweater may give you
some protection if I miss.
>> Oh it's fine. >> All right now how
do you feel right now as far as mobility?
>> Good. >> Yeah?
>> Yeah.
It's like a could dance a little bit in this.
Still got moves.
I could fight.
>> That's good!
>> Grab the nunchucks.
>> Yeah, actually, okay, all right, let's do this.
Show me the Jason Murphy we all fell in love with.
>> Remember what happened last time.
>> I'll be over here.
>> I wonder if, yeah.
I think I got mobility.
>> Oh you've got to be kidding me.
[laughter]
>> I don't have one of those.
Stop it, stop it, stop it.
>> It's a little weird to get around.
Do you want to whack me real good with the nunchucks?
>> Yeah, ready?
>> Do it. [whack]
>> [groans] That stung but it works, it's effective.
>> I'm going to do the super --
>> Oh the big one! >> Did you know that
when it came to self-defense that police had two sticks.
There is the day stick and then the night stick.
The night stick was the longer one.
That's where that word comes from.
[whack]
I felt like I was sucker punching you
and even as it was happening I was thinking like,
"Shouldn't do, shouldn't do, feels good."
>> The only thing that sucked was on
the follow through you got my arm.
>> You okay though?
>> Yeah, I'm fine.
But this is, yeah this is nothing, man.
[whack]
>> [panting] Got me worse then it got you.
Okay, so for bludgeon objects.
>> We're good, because a lot of times
when you see someone pull off the body armor
or something like that, they're still bruised
underneath like really badly.
>> But you didn't feel nothing?
>> It stung a little bit.
>> All right so I suppose if we were wildly irresponsible,
I could stabbing you with a full on knife.
But I've already proven to my satisfaction
that the knife will not make it in there.
But I do want to know if it's likely
to slip to the side or anything.
Or if a glancing blow, so I'm going to use
the butterfly bottle opener.
>> Fair, okay.
>> I just want to experience the sensation
of dropping a shiv and letting you have it.
May I? >> I think so.
>> Hey, you that Modern Rogue?
Trevor sends his regards!
[thumping]
Wow.
>> You did that with vigor!
>> Well, I've been practicing.
[both laughing]
Like in my head since I've known you.
>> When you're scripting out action sequences
for your fan fiction.
>> Okay, all right, calling that.
You remember this bad boy right?
>> Yeah, how could I forget?
>> So obviously it was the pellets
that made this thing terrifying before.
The tear gas.
>> They were really hard too.
>> Yeah, well not as hard as rubber bullets,
which is what I got for you this time.
>> Oh good.
>> You want to test them out?
>> Like you're suppressing my protest or something?
>> Yes, exactly.
Here let me get some eye protection.
So obviously these bullets aren't going to kill you.
But lets say you were just this guy, then.
[gunshots]
[wild laughter]
Look at that.
So do you believe I can hit that many for that many?
>> Do it, I'm ready.
>> Really? >> I'm ready.
>> Really? >> Yes.
>> All right, round two.
Hey, Buddy!
I don't know who you think you are,
but you can't go running around like that.
Not in no crazy armor in this town.
[gunshots]
What!
[gunshots]
[screaming]
[gunshot]
[screaming]
[gunshot]
Okay, now I'm more scared than you!
[wild laughter]
That was amazing!
>> I wanted to grab you by the throat and raise you up,
but do you remember the push up thing?
>> Yes! >> It didn't work out so well.
>> [laughter] Oh my god!
And this is nothing on there, huh?
>> JASON: One final test.
>> Oh geez.
Full on hatchet, huh?
[exhaling loudly] Oh boy.
>> Just don't slip and like hit me in the face or something.
>> I mean that's where we're irresponsible right?
I mean we got to test whether or not
I could chop through it.
>> Absolutely.
>> I already, both of us, tried to get
through one book as hard as we possibly could.
Could we just call it and say it's choppy proof?
>> No.
Still got to do it.
Don't miss.
>> I'm going to practice with the blunty side first.
I'm going to give it to you as hard as I can.
>> Also, don't miss with that one.
>> One.
Two, blunty side test!
[thump]
[ringing]
>> Oh.
It was a formidable blow.
>> Yeah? >> Yeah.
>> Well I heard it ring out and I assume
that it shattered the --
>> JASON: Oh my gosh.
>> What?
There's still bullets in you!
[laughter]
You are a T-1000.
This is amazing.
Okay I'm going to give you choppy side.
>> JASON: All right do it.
>> Do you trust? >> I do.
>> This is so bad, so bad.
[whack]
[Jason groans]
>> I chopped you.
>> Yeah.
It stung.
>> It felt morally bad to me.
[laughter]
There was a part in my brain I'm like,
"I'm chopping my friend."
>> I'm good, man.
>> You're done?
>> Yeah, I think the biggest pain was --
>> It basically punched you.
It was the like the one inch punch.
>> I think what it was the space between
the book and my stomach, and so when it hit
it was basically just the book slapping against me.
It stung, but that was about it.
Plus I was tensed up.
>> Yeah, sure, sure.
>> And my abs could already pretty much
deflect hatchets and bullets anyway.
>> All right, all right.
We're going to dissect you and see kind of
how much of this survived.
So outside of the gut punching-ness,
it felt not bad?
>> It wasn't even so much a gut punch,
it was just this flat surface slapping against my stomach.
>> Holy cow.
I don't even think the tile busted.
Actually, hold on.
>> JASON: Yeah, it did.
>> Okay, yeah, so again that's that micro-fractures,
the absorption of that energy went into fracturing
this thing rather than fracturing your ribs.
Look at that.
>> We didn't even put in multiple layers of the tiles,
which is something we totally could have done.
>> Oh, yeah!
But I mean, just you're made of,
you're more machine now than man.
If I had to choose between having that
and not having that on my kid,
I'd be having that on my kid.
That's amazing.
>> What are you going to do now, Mad Max and zombies?
>> I'm going to run fast, right now.
Get out of here!
>> Okay, that stuff is still really sharp.
By the way. >> Sorry, sorry.