Last week, um, my two friends, Danny and Freddy, told me to come here
started to say they had experienced you know, a life-changing experience with him.
and I was, like, oh fine, I guess I'll come.
It's probably all, you know, just a bunch of bull. I was very skeptical.
and he said 'well, does anybody have any neck pain?'
and I said, well, yeah, I do.
and he said, well, go to a memory and that's what I did
and he said 'does the neck pain get any worse?'
and I said, yes, it does.
So, he asked me to
change some things about my memory and recall some things that I had not recalled.
and, I have to say, I have not had any neck pain since.
and, I haven't had any headaches since, and actually other problems that
I didn't even tell him about, have gotten better.
Like, I have IBS, which is completely stress-related
and, I have to say, I haven't had any problems with it lately, at all.
(video spliced here) You do have something today you want to address.
- Uh huh. Okay. Er, what, what is it?
- I have a fear of being okay. (video spliced here)
So, how do you know you have this fear?
- Because,
things, like I said, have started to improve in the last week.
- and it's freaking me out a little bit
I'm sorry to hear that.
- It's, well, it's like I have all this free time because
- I'm not sitting here dwelling on problems.
and, I'm like, 'Oh my God! What am I gonna do with myself?
- Like. I had a fear of working.
- I could not work. For a long time, I had some anxiety around that.
and now, I'm like,
- my boss told me today he might be giving me extra hours
- and I'm like, whoohoo, okay,
(he laughs) - I'm bored anyway. I need something to do.
Isn't it terrible that you can't feel bad and you have all this free time
and don't know what to do with that time?
- Yeah. It is.
Alright. So, this fear of being okay.
- Uh huh. Now, can you remember a time?
Now, guys, if you notice I'm always operating in the same basic way.
Can you remember a time that you felt that fear, of being okay?
- Yeah. Okay.
and, can you feel it?
- Yeah. Feeling it right now. Zero to ten. How strong is it?
- Um. From the moment I said something
to sitting in that chair, it's come up to about a 9 right now.
Really? a nine. Can you make it a 15, if you could?
I mean, just think. It's okay to feel that feeling of fear of being okay.
- Yeah. That's not hard to do.
Well do it. Make it stronger. - Okay.
How strong is it?
You see her lips quivering? (she laughs)
- Yeah. Okay. I didn't know you saw that.
You can feel it, can't you?
- It's really. Yeah. I'm having uncontrolled movements here.
Oh. That's okay. and so, you're very good at this fear.
How did you do it. I just, I wanna do this fear because I
I've never felt that fear of being okay, not being okay.
I mean. Here.. What's, what's the worst thing that's gonna happen?
you're gonna be okay and, then, what bad thing can happen?
- Well. The fear is that I become okay
- I fail at it and I go right back to where I started.
Oh so, really the real deal is the fear of going back, isn't it?
- Yes.
- Cause I, honestly, if I had to sit here and think of a time in my life when I ever
- you know, felt okay for a stretch...
Something bad happened. - ...there isn't one.
- Yeah. Something always bad happens, so, whenever
- something good happens to me now, I'll sit there and I'll associate it with
- oh, crap, something bad's fixing to happen.
Now, you look for it. - and of course I make a self-fulfilling prophesy
- and that's exactly what happens.
So, let's feel that feeling. This fear that
'Oh, man, things are really good, some bad thing's getting ready to happen.'
and I want you to imagine the worst bad thing ever.
You got it? Zero to ten.
- Ten. You feel it?
Alright. Everybody feel your pain. Whatever your fear is.
If you associate to this, feel it.
Got it?
Alright. Everybody in your mind, just imagine in front of you, a tree.
Just see a tree there. Do you see one?
As you pull the roots out, notice what happens.
Naturally, a tree without roots
- it shrivels up and the colour goes away and becomes lifeless.
No longer important.
Alright. Everybody follow me. Tap between your eyes.
I release and let go. - I release and let go.
All sadnesses. - All sadnesses.
Beside your eye. Release and let go. - Release and let go
All fears. - All fears.
I release and let go (under the eye) - I release and let go.
Emotional traumas. - Emotional traumas.
Collar bone. I release and let go. - I release and let go.
All the helpless feelings. - All the helpless feelings.
Trapped feelings. - Trapped feelings.
Helplessness. - Helplessness.
No control. - No control.
I release and let it go. - I release and let it go.
Take a deep breath (inhales & exhales) Say peace. - Peace
Alright. Now, so really,
Let's go back to the, you know, here it is, things are really going nice.
and you almost anticipate, look for, and expect
bad stuff.
and you've had that happen to you many times? - Yes.
Alright. So this is a skill, right? - Yes.
Alright, so.. - One I'm very, very good at.
You should, you should change your name. (she laughs)
Right?
I'm really good at bad stuff happening to me. - There you go.
Feel that feeling. That's true isn't it?
- Yeah. You're not a hula dancer, though.
- No. You should have took lessons.
I release and let it go. - I release and let it go.
Just let it go. - Just let it go.
I'm not good at that. - I'm not good at that.
I'm not even that. - I'm not even that.
It's just a process. - It's just a process.
Based on the memories of the past. - Based on the memories of the past.
It's safe to let go of the past. - It's safe to let go of the past.
It's safe to be okay. - It's safe to be okay.
Wherever I'm at. - Wherever I'm at.
Especially right now. - Especially right now.
Take a deep breath (inhales & exhales) Peace. - Peace
Alright. Let's think about it again.
The worst thing ever. Now, by the way
in order to have the fear of being okay, it's not the fear of being okay.
It's okay to feel okay.
But, it's not okay to be anticipating the bad. - Right.
So, anticipate the bad.
- Nothing is coming to mind. I'm sorry to hear that.
What are you going to do with all this extra time now?
- I have no earthly idea. I guess I'm gonna have to read or something.
Or tap. - Tap.
- Something.
Alright. So let's just do it again.
The fear of being okay. You said you had this horrible fear of being okay.
- Uh huh. Can you feel it?
- Not so much.
Some? - Some.
How do you know?
- Feel it in my mouth and my teeth and..
Interesting. - I want to bite down.
I release and let it go. - I release and let it go.
That feeling in my mouth. - That feeling in my mouth.
Whatever it represents. - Whatever it represents.
It's safe to move on. - It's safe to move on.
and to forget about that fear. - and to forget about that fear.
It's no longer useful. - It's no longer useful.
and I'm safe. - and I'm safe.
Deep breath (inhales & exhales) Peace. - Peace
Alright. Now let's think about this fear of being okay.
Remember, last week. You, I mean here you had all this extra time.
you're okay and you just really irritate... it's bothering you.
I mean, it's almost like you're missing the drama.
The anxiety, the stress. You remember you had that?
See if you can make that come back. I miss the stress & drama & trauma.
- No thank you. Are you sure? - I'm sure.
Alright, go back in the past where you used to have that feeling. - Okay.
By the way, we're cleaning the structure out.
Is it still there?
- Yes. A little bit. Alright.
Are you thinking of something specifically. Right?
- No. I am not.
Just a general feeling. - Just a general feeling.
Notice where you feel it.
Now, guys, just feel yours. Whatever it is.
- I release and let it go.
Just let it go. - Just let it go.
I'm safe now. - I'm safe now.
It's all inside me - It's all inside me.
and I forgive myself. - and I forgive myself.
For holding onto these feelings. - For holding onto these feelings.
They served a purpose in the past. - They served a purpose in the past.
But it's over. - But it's over.
I'm here now. - I'm here now.
Deep breath (inhales & exhales) Peace. - Peace
Alright. Check it again.
The drama trauma.
- No. Now I just feel really, really, I'm not quite sure what the word is but..
- Relaxed. Peaceful.
- Yeah. Would languid be the word? What?
- Languid. Just very relaxed and almost feel like I could melt into the chair.
Alright.
Say: It's okay to enjoy this. - It's okay to enjoy this.
and to create more of it. - and to create more of it.
I'm now in control of it. - I'm now in control of it.
Cause I have memory of it. - Cause I have memory of it.
and I can always come back. - and I can always come back.
To right here. - To right here.
Deep breath (inhales & exhales) Peace. - Peace (video spliced here)
Now guys, when you have emotions or feelings inside of you
and you just feel it. All you do is feel it.
Notice what it feels like.
and all you have to do is res.., notice it
Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go.
Take a deep breath (inhales & exhales)
Check and see if it's gone. If it isn't, do it again.
Until it is gone.
Being okay. Is it okay to have okay?
- Yeah. I just. I had a.. just a fear of being what I guess I'd equate as normal
Well. Honestly, let me be honest with you. It's not normal to be at peace.
- Okay. Well then I just had a fear of being at peace.
- Oh, I assumed everybody else was at peace and I was the only one that....
No. Most. Matter of fact only,... most people are not at peace.
But you can be abnormal and be at peace throughout the rest of your life.
You want that? - Yeah I'd rather be abnormal.
You don't wanna be boring, normal stressed-out, worried and frustrated.
Ain't that right? - I won't live as long if I'm stressed out like this.
So, I just let it go. - I just let it go.
I, I choose. - I choose.
to be abnormal - to be abnormal
Peaceful. - Peaceful.
That's what I want. - That's what I want.
I choose to be in control. - I choose to be in control.
In an uncontrollable world. - In an uncontrollable world.
But I have full control. - But I have full control.
Of how I respond. - Of how I respond.
and I'm okay with that. - and I'm okay with that.
Deep breath (inhales & exhales) (video spliced here)
- You know. I just have to say this for all the 18 years
&, yes, I've been sitting there, adding it up in my head.
for the 18 years worth of therapy I've been through
- In two seminars here, it just..
- I don't even know what to say about that.
- It, it, it almost seems pointless
Which part?
- The 18 years of therapy. You wasted time?
- Yeah.
(unintelligible comments from the audience)
I won't.. I just..
- ..don't understand why they don't know that.
Well...there's a long story behind that.
- I know there is. subtitles: Antoinette Iacobucci