Ah good morning Agent... whatever your name is.
In today's double-0 training, you'll be learning some advanced pronunciation techniques
which could make anyone's accent... like... completely British or whatever
These are very advanced pronunciation techniques, and as so
could make spies hide in plain sight with perfect British accents.
for this reason,
this pronunciation training is
For British eyes only!
Please, take a seat
Today you'll be learning these skills: intrusion elision assimilation and catenation
They do sound sexy but believe me
in the wrong hands they are quite dangerous
Intrusion
Secret sounds will intrude into British sentences between words
these sounds or phonemes are:
For example:
To the not-British ear, this might sound fine
But to the trained British ear
You might notice this isn't 100% natural
Listen again
Did you hear the gap between the words "you" and "enough"?
"Intrusion" will add a /w/ sound between 'you' and 'enough'
This is because at the end of the word 'you',
the mouth shape is
like
"ooh"
and we link the two words together
with a consonant sound which closely matches the mouth shape
In this case "ooh" is similar to /w/
so it sounds like this
Another example of intrusion would be
Between the words "go" and "out"
again a /w/ sound would intrude
There are of course other examples
See I intruded an /r/ sound in that sentence without you even knowing it
That's how dangerous it is
Traditionally as you know,
British English doesn't pronounce the /R/ at the end of words
We would say:
Not:
However, when the next word begins with a vowel sound
We do in this case pronounce the /R/ to link the two words together
Now I'd like to hear you repeat after me
and finally I also mentioned that a /j/ sound can also intrude
between those two words
a /j/ sound will intrude
Why? because 'I' ends in an /ɪː/ sound
the closest consonant sound to this is a
So
doesn't sound right, but with intrusion
Sounds dangerously British!
Again the next word begins with a vowel sound
and you'll start to notice a pattern
we only intrude sounds when the next word begins with a vowel sound
Good now complete the training and practice with me
Intrusion with /w/
/j/ Intrusion
/r/ intrusion
The next pronunciation technique is called "Catenation"
and if the Russians ever learn this
it will be the end of the world
"Catenation" is when the final consonant sound of one word
sounds like it begins the next word
so for example
The final consonant sound /s/ from "This" joins the next word
To sound like
and together it sounds like
The first syllable is reduced to a weak form
and sounds like: /ðə/
The same with:
Let's look at a few more examples:
As you can see this is all super secret stuff
Next is "Assimilation"
this is when sounds change in order to connect words
Common examples are... these:
Here we see what happens when one word finishes in a T
and the next word starts with a Y
It's connected with a /tʃ/ sound
Other common examples are
This becomes
An important question you might have to ask:
The T will connect with that Y again with a /tʃ/ sound
When a D is followed by a Y
it doesn't sound like /tʃ/
It sounds like /dʒ/
Common examples of this are:
It changes to:
Or commonly
and so on, you get the idea
and also the word "Handbag" sounds like:
Which begs the question: Is it secretly "Hand burger"?
These techniques, this information, must not leave this room
Which brings me to the final point:
"Elision"
A common example of Elision is when a word finishes in a T or D
typically in a consonant cluster
and the next word begins in a
consonant sound that T or D will get removed or "Elided"
What? What's a consonant cluster?
Well I'm glad you asked
There are no stupid questions only stupid people
A consonant cluster is a group of consonants together
Think of for example when a word finishes in "xt" or "st"
words like "Next" "Last"
We have covered that "last year" can sound like:
Well we can also elide that last T so it sounds like:
Same with "Next year" could sound like:
But we could also elide that T to sound like:
It is quite easy to learn
You simply drop that final T or D sound
But not always
If the word is alone or the next word begins with a vowel sound
You will pronounce that final T or D
For example: The word "Last"
alone you will pronounce the T
If it's "Last week"
The next word begins with a consonant sound not a vowel sound
That's okay
But if it begins with a vowel sound
For example: "Last Apple"
You should pronounce the T
Not:
Other common examples are:
In this case the Ss blends together very dangerously
and finally
Other common examples of "Elision" are
becomes
in this case the th sound is dropped completely
Resulting in a weak schwa sound
In fact, this is the same with all "How's the...?" questions
Well it seems like you're ready for your final test
You may want to check if someone is a spy or naturally British
In which case, ask them to repeat these code phrases
If they are naturally British they should be able to pronounce them
with perfect pronunciation using these techniques
If not, they are definitely a spy
and finally
Agent I'd like to thank you for attending today's training session
and as I'm very confident you are completely British
I'm glad this training session has been for
For your eyes only