A: Why do you say that? Because a lot of people say that I'm pretty intelegonate.
O: Ough.
♪ Smosh BTS Theme ♪
SHUT UP!
Ian: Hey guys, so today we're shooting a project almanac time travel spoof.
Ian: This restaurant called Plush in Sacramento decided to let us use their place.
Anthony: And it's very beautiful
I: And they let us- A: they actually let us use like the entire place.
I: Yeah.
I: This involves a lot of tricky little time travel things.
I: You know, we basically put as much time into this as as Christopher Nolan put into Inception.
A: Yes...
I: And in this video, we got Olivia playing.. Uh, your date.
A: Hot date.
I: And we got Keith playing a very snooty waiter.
A: So this episode's awesome because every time something is about to go wrong,
A: Ian goes back and changes something in the past to fix the present.
A: But of course it does not always turn out just the way you want it.
I: Because time travel never works.
A: Never works.
A: Alright guys, so let's go shoot this (beep).
I: Yes.
(Whistling music plays)
A: So then he says...
A: Hey that's not mayonnaise- Oh wait, that's not how it was.
A: And then his mom eats the entire sandwich before he could- (beep) sorry.
Olivia: Chuckie Mcbuttons- f*ck
(beep)
A: You uh, want to head out.. uh-luh-la maybe-muh-my place?
O: Yeah!
I: You don't need that.
A: What?
I: You'll thank me later.
A: Hmm, force on ball exerted by hand.
Unknown: Oooh!
(laughter from crew)
A: So, if we were the last two people on earth, would you procreate with me?
O: No.
A: What if we were gonna die?
O: I would... look... for... someone else?
A:What if... I had a lot of money?
O: No.
A: What if, we were stuck on a neutron star and we had-
O: That would not- (laughs)
O: You just dropped your, (laughs) banana.
A: Want some?
O: That's gross.
(Crew Starts Laughing)
I: Oden, a guy that makes all this stuff, is just rad as hell.
I: Check this out.
I: Button... makes that wheel spin.
I: This button, turn- It turns that light on.
I: He just made this (beep) just out of, like, scraps!
Oden: Scraps!
I: Oden... you're the frickin' man.
HE'S THE MAN!
I: This is ridiculous. (Unknown: Camera's ready)
A: Thanks so much for being the best mean man. I- (gibberish)
I: The best "'mean-man.''
A: Dude, thanks so much for being the best wing man- Time-travelling... Time-travelling.
I: Wait! (Drops time machine)
I: My time-machine broke.
A: Getting on my buff outfit.
A: Little secret to my workout routine:
A: Put on shirts
(chatter in background)
A: That'll make it look like you've been working out. Saves a lot of time.
A: Ough!
A: (Hulk voice) Yeah, bitch
A: Ow! My muscles hurt. They're still swole.
O: Oooh!
O: Oh.
(Crew laughing)
I: No, no, no. You'll thank me later.
I: And just do that other thing in the shower, please.
A: That's the worst place to do it.
I: Yeah I was thinking about that too. (Anthony laughs)
(Off-Screen) Why?
A: Because it's (beep) difficult.
I: Well I mean, standing up in general it's hard- it's hard to do it.
I: And, you're just being beaten with- with rain.
A: Little needles of pain.
(Unknown) Are they talking about jerking off?!
(Unknown) Wait, on your back?
I: All right well let's just keep-
I: Let's just keep going.
(BACKGROUND MUSIC)
I: What just happened Olivia?
O: Are you serious!?!
I: What just happened?
O: What is this?!
I: What?
O: Woah, oh, oh, oh..
O: Oh my god, I hate you guys!
O: (laughs) I hate you guys!
I: Somebody must've taken your phone.
I: Definitely not me.
I: And I definitely didn't take five hundred photos on your phone or anything.
O: I'm gonna get you back.
A: Seriously, there's no way that time- bleh.
A: There's no-
A: There's no way- Ah..
A: There is no way. Who keeps saying no way?
A: Yeah I'm just gonna go do that. See ya guys later.
I: What?
I: Meh, I totally would have done the same thing.
I: Yeah, me too.
I: Eurgh!
I: Does the back of my head really look that weird?
I: What are you talking about?
I: Look!
I: Oh, (beep)!
I: Yeah, it looks like a deformed yam!
I: I know, right!
A: This date's going awesome, huh? (Nerdy Anthony laughs)
O: Yeah...
A: Uber cool! (Nerdy Anthony laughs again)
O: Yeah.
A: Science rules!
O: Uh huh...
[laughter]
A: Oh man... Page 420. Oh man!
A: Oh! It's two guys shirtless, looking at each other's backs!
I: Oh!
A: Then there's the sun-rays bouncing off their hair!
I: Oh, there's a hammer on this page.
A: Yeah. So you first.. you get hammered, then you look on each other's naked backs!
I: Yeah!
A: And, you just let the sun drench your hair.
I: Yeah.
A: Stick your feet in the sand and feel the crabs that you're getting.
I: That's my favorite book ever!
A: Yeah, they're in Tijuana, they're getting crabs.
[laughter]
A: Yeah, there's no way someone could actually build a time machine that fast.
A: Yeah there's no- OWWWWW!
A: I'm just kidding.
[laughter]
(Background) Oh, yeah!
[laughter] God damn!
I: It made me feel bad but I also thought maybe I would get retribution for him popping my nose sideways.
*Flashback*
Everyone: Ohhh.
A: Did I actually hit you?
I: Yeah.
A: Now I'm scared that he's gonna actually do it for real.
A: So, that was our 'Project Almanac' Time-Travel Spoof. I got to wear a 'Periods Suck' shirt and uh.. go back to 2009.
I: Yeah, how do you feel about that?
A: I feel great.
I: So by the way, thank you so much for, um, scaring me to thinking that I actually punched your dick off.
I: Because that was..
A: You're welcome.
I: Great..
I: If you guys like the video, let us know down below- A: And, like, click like.
I: And if you want us to make more more videos that involve Oden making cool stuff like this, let us know in the comments below.
I: I don't- I don't know. (Beep). I'm getting out of here. I'm tired.
A: Bye from 2009! See you guys next week. Periods suck, commas rule!
I: Hey guys, thank you so much for watching this video.
I: If you haven't yet seen the new episode of Smosh Smash, go check it out right now!
Person 1: Yoshi, what are you doing? What are you doing?! (Everyone screams)
Everyone: Oooooh!
Person 1: Wow!
Person 2: I'll be taking my 500 now.
I: The guys start an Amiibo Fight Club and they put money on who they think will win
I: It's awesome!
I: Check it out by clicking the video right on this frickin' screen!
*DRAMATIC SOUND EFFECT!*