my daughter hazel pre-tween has been obsessed with animals especially monkeys for most of
her life so on her birthday each year minus the last for obvious reasons
we visit a local holiday park and petting zoo my mother started this tradition for my nieces
28 and 21 who've outgrown it now but i like to carry it on i explained the
tradition over breakfast to natalie my partner of three years expecting her to be excited too
but she wasn't natalie told me that her daughter gracie may one year older than hazel is a fearful
child and too worrisome around animals such as horses donkeys and goats to enjoy such day out
natalie suggested that we try somewhere new that would be less frightening for her a new tradition
i knew hazel would be heartbroken so i insisted on the holiday park and petting zoo
while hazel my niece 21 natalie's son jack tween and i went to the holiday park natalie stayed at
home with gracie may jack hadn't seen a goat in person before so that was exciting for him
whereas hazel was tall enough to go on rise she couldn't previously which excited her hazel and
jack each picked up a toy from the gift shop on our way out and we stopped at mcdonald's on the
way home for dinner so overall hazel had a good birthday natalie was less thrilled about the day
i thought i'd be nice to include jack but she thought i'd driven a wedge between the siblings
by taking one and not the other i said gracie may could do what she wanted on her birthday but
it was hazel's birthday so it'd be unfair for it to revolve around gracie may natalie thinks
i was heartless for isolating her daughter not even bringing her mcdonald's while she listened
to hazel and jack talk about the fun they'd had this annoyed me as natalie had been the one saying
gracie may would have hated the trip which was why she wasn't invited natalie doesn't think i'm
putting in enough effort to establish that we're supposed to be a family now and do things together
with which i generally agree still surely hazel's birthday is supposed to be about her regardless
gracie may is clearly miserable and feels very left out while hazel and jack had a brilliant time
i didn't want to hurt anyone i just wanted my daughter to have a special day but i do understand
why it would upset her she is clearly an emotional child am i the idiot not the idiot natalie doesn't
care about gracie may's feelings if she did she would have done something enjoyable with
her herself while you guys were out but instead of doing something uplifting for her own child
she sat home with her where they sulk together and became miserable for the sole purpose of using
gracie may's misery to make you feel guilty for giving your own child a happy birthday if you're
smart you'll think long and hard before continuing this relationship natalie's made it clear that she
expects you to prioritize her daughter over yours and that she will go so far as to increase her own
child's suffering to manipulate you with it she is not a good person to have in your daughter's life
yes i wouldn't build a life with someone who uses their child as a pawn to manipulate me emotionally
she's done this to punish you for not doing what she wanted people who punish you for
having boundaries in this case by causing and weaponizing her daughter's unhappiness are
impossible to have a healthy relationship with that's a really good point if gracie may think
she wasn't invited that would be hurtful so make sure she knows she was invited but her mum said no
also i have a tough time believing she wouldn't have wanted to go no matter how timid she is did
natalie ever say how she felt about the park maybe she just didn't want to go gracie's parties can
be all about what she does and doesn't like that doesn't mean that hazel and jack have to cater to
her but i will say that while you're not the idiot here you could have done better and brought a toy
at mcdonald's back for gracie it would be best if you tried to include her though you don't have to
change the whole thing to suit her omg he is not her dad let him spend time and energy on his kid
because natalie certainly will natalie isn't going to help her daughter by shielding her from things
that may frighten her she could easily have come along and kept gracie may feeling calm and safe
and you're right hazel's birthday is about her i 45 female have a 19 year old daughter who's smart
kind and beautiful she has lots of friends is a good student and has always had a great work ethic
i'm very proud however recently she's changed her hobbies and interests and is very much stuck
in this phase of her life she bought herself an xbox at the beginning of 2020 and started gaming
her obsession grew and because of the mandates it was easy for her to become addicted to it she'd be
up all night talking to her boyfriends and when the restrictions were lifted she would bring her
xbox to her guy friends houses she took a gap year and when we started thinking about the colleges
she should apply to i suggested that she should apply to the northern university in our state
and rush for a sorority i was in one but she said she would instead go to a limited greek
life school she said that she thinks that sorority life is fake and she wouldn't form any emotional
connections i took this offensively because i was in one at her age so i don't know why she
wouldn't have this narrative she's only spent a weekend at her friend's sorority
anyway cut to now she's in college she's doing great again she's a beautiful girl and has many
friends but she's only become more interested in this gaming thing she talks about people who do
live videos of them doing pretty much anything playing video games watching interesting videos
events etc she has a setup in her room where she spent her own money on a gaming chair and more she
has anime books and watches anime i sat her down a few days ago and told her she should find more
sociable hobbies and she became so angry at me she's saying that i'm trying to make her into me
and that i'm obsessed with her popularity i tried to calm her down but she refused to believe that
i just wanted what was best for her a few of my husband's friends and i have girls her age who
are in greek life have fun group outings and inclusive hobbies so i just don't get it she
has many friends and is very pretty i just wanted to have healthier and more productive habits she
hasn't talked to me since she's been busy moving to her new house with her friends and my husband
told me she's justified but says he refuses to put himself as a part of this am i the idiot
you are the idiot how many times do you have to mention that she's pretty would you be fine with
her liking gaming if she wasn't conventionally attractive gaming is social by the way especially
depending on what game she's playing twitch streaming is also social you mentioned that she
has a lot of friends and is happy and healthy so what's your issue that she's not like you that you
didn't get a carbon copy legacy to parade around for your sorority sisters let your daughter be her
own person and support her i picked up on this too it's like opie thinks that because her daughter is
attractive she automatically must act in a certain way and be interested in a certain set of things
i was honestly surprised i didn't read gaming is for boys in op's story i'd love to see a list
of hobbies the op deems fit for a pretty girl to participate in lol you are the idiot she's
finding and following her passions just because you don't understand it doesn't mean it's wrong
you also sound obsessed with how petty and popular she is two things that aren't really important go
in front of a mirror and practice saying the following i don't really understand these new
interests in your life i'm proud that you're finding yourself and becoming your own person
i will work on respecting your boundaries and not passing judgment i love you no matter what once
you've got that down talk to her and say it and mean it i 23 female have a little nephew and niece
my brother called last week and asked me to take them for two days as he and my sister-in-law had a
doctor's appointment out of state i agreed but warned them that i could only watch the kids
on monday and tuesday wednesday i had a bunch of important meetings and i'll be glued to my laptop
for hours unable to check on the kids he said he got it well tuesday around 8 pm they were supposed
to be picked up at 9 30 pm my brother called and asked me to keep them another day because they
got delayed and have not even started driving back i got angry because if you told me earlier
maybe i might have been able to postpone most meetings or even call in sick however no one
was a worker apm and i find it unprofessional to cancel the same day without an excellent reason
i told him to come to get his kids and he became very defensive and rude calling me unsupportive
to be clear they went for a tummy tuck for my sister-in-law so no real medical emergency
he called mom but she'd already gone to bed and he dared to tell me to drive one and a half hours to
her house wake her up and make her take the kids i said no we fought more with my sister-in-law
giving her two cents in the background before they hung up and stopped picking up till the next day
i found a nice babysitter the next day thankfully and because it was last minute
i paid 200 for a few hours still mad i just forwarded the bill to my brother
expecting him to pay my sister-in-law called and screamed ahead off calling me irresponsible
which how dare i leave her kids with a stranger i was in the middle of work still and hung up on her
and just forwarded the bill to her as well my mom showed up at my house an hour later and took the
kiddos now my brother is still refusing to pay and my mom said i was petty things come up and it was
wrong of me not to consult them before hiring a babysitter for so much money am i the idiot
head it i called my brother twice in the morning to inform him of the babysitter he didn't pick up
my mom still works and if i'd taken the kids to her house it would have been her neighbor
marcy watching them not the idiot how would you consult them if they stopped answering their
phones it's on your brother and sister-in-law to find alternate coverage when they were delayed
but they didn't so you had to make sure it didn't affect your job they knew you had to work on
wednesday and their only thought was you have to drive one and a half hours to wake up your mum
nah i can see if she lived maybe 10 or 30 minutes away but not an hour and a half they shouldn't
have stopped communicating and need to pay up this whole situation is on them and don't let anyone
convince you otherwise your only downfall was agreeing to watch their kids so your sister-in-law
could have plastic surgery and i don't think you're gonna see that money but i would consider
it money well spent if they realize what a horrible thing they did omg they can afford a
tummy tuck and several nights away in a hotel then they can afford to pay for babysitting you might
not get the money back but pay the sitter then never take their kids again not even 10 minutes
oh and tummy tucks aren't a real easy recovery definitely let them experience the consequences
of no longer having you as a resource when she has her vanity procedure opi you arranged childcare
when you couldn't look after them their kids their bill also no evidence at all but seeing as you've
said the appointment was a checkup before surgery not the actual surgery itself i suspect there
wasn't really an emergency or delay they just wanted an extra night kid free at your expense
my wife and i 35 female are going on a family vacation with her son parents and siblings to
the greek islands it's a place my wife and i talked about visiting on our very first date and
have saved up lots of money to go my ex-wife and i are still very close we have three kids together
but sadly all three passed away however i still consider her my family and i've known her almost
all my life so there were no hard feelings after our divorce she's also like an aunt to my stepson
and very good friends with my current wife and me my stepson asked me to bring my ex-wife on
our family vacation with us since she's family i thought about it for a while and decided why
not ask her she and her boyfriend have recently broken up and she's been pretty beaten down the
last few weeks so i thought a little vacation for her would help her out a lot and get some
things off her mind and relax for a bit i asked my wife and she said happy to have her come along
i asked my ex-wife if she'd like to join us and she was hesitant at first because she didn't want
to intrude but she eventually agreed and was more than excited to come along she offered to buy her
own plane ticket and hotel room but my wife and i insisted that we would take care of it for her she
was incredibly grateful and she started packing my wife's mother had come over to our house and
saw i had one extra plane ticket on the counter than we were supposed to have and i told her that
my ex-wife was coming she blew up in my face and told me i was making everyone very uncomfortable
by inviting her and that nobody even knew her she also accused me of planning to cheat on my wife
by inviting her on this trip she called me an idiot for bringing my ex-wife on a family trip
she also said that she's no longer my family since we were divorced and have no kids together
i yelled a whole bunch of crap in her face that i don't even remember she stormed out
of my house and now everyone is calling to say they don't want to go on the trip anymore
and now my wife is very upset i was just trying to do something nice for someone who was struggling
at the moment i didn't think inviting one person would cause everyone to pull out
they're going on a free vacation and the plane is refundable i'm starting to feel like an idiot now
because my wife is very upset that her family isn't going and we've spent all this money on
this trip and to make things worse my ex-wife texts me saying she's all packed for tomorrow
and how excited and grateful she is that we invited her so am i the idiot not the idiot
if the wife had no issue the stepson didn't why was mother-in-law so angry honestly if i were
you i'd be very cautious of her in the future because i've seen mothers ruin their children's
marriages due to their paranoid thoughts it's none of your mother-in-law's business really everyone's
the idiot here if you're going to invite someone on a vacation you planned with a bunch of people
it's probably best to check with everyone beforehand that includes your in-laws
mother-in-law is being unreasonable and insulting still she should have been consulted beforehand
maybe the whole thing wouldn't have blown up like that then mother-in-law was out of line to throw
a hissy fit but your response was too extreme you should have let mother-in-law have her childlike
temper tantrum and let your wife handle her not the idiot her you have no children with her
comment is grounds to go absolute nuclear on her in my book that was so uncalled for and frankly
messed up just because they aren't co-parenting anymore doesn't mean they won't always be the
mother of each other's children once a mom always a mom my 22 male girlfriend 19 crochets quite a
lot and i've encouraged her to start like an etsy shop or something but she hasn't the issue is that
she spends all this money on yarn even though she always buys the really cheap big rolls of michaels
it adds up so instead of making something that someone would want as a gift like a dish cloth
blanket sweater etc she chooses to make these dumb little stuffed animals the other day she
finished crocheting a 13 foot long dachshund so she has these baskets and shelves of these
stuffed animals that she refuses to give away or sell but also hardly uses after they're done
the other day she was hanging around her apartment and it was a mess she claims her roommate made the
mess but i guess she was hanging out in it so instead of cleaning it she's crocheting
when i brought up the mess she said her roommate would clean it up and proceeded to pull this
binder full of polaroids of her finished project in each of their names and was talking about them
i couldn't stand it and i snapped and told her she needed to focus on cleaning up and that i didn't
care about her toys she said her roommate would and i told her that she was acting like a child
by the time i left she was crying it's been almost a week now and she isn't answering my messages
am i the idiot here for wanting her to live in a clean apartment i hope your girlfriend dumps you
and finds a nice boyfriend who supports her cool hobbies and that you never have a girlfriend again
until you change your fundamental attitude towards women because you're an idiot so what are you
complaining about she took out the trash just like you wanted he doesn't have a girlfriend he only
has the audacity pretty sure she's already dumped him given the fact that she's not returning any of
his calls fingers crossed that's the case op it's not your house so you don't get to tell her how to
live in it you have a right not to go there if it bothers you you sound controlling and overbearing
yeah always funny when you see one of these already dumped but doesn't know it cases on here
i get the feeling she's insecure about that etsy shop because his suggestion is that she makes
things that someone would want like a dishcloth blanket sweater etc to sell instead of dumb little
stuffed animals and he's eroding her sense of value in the absolute awesome stuff she's making