Hi!
Well--
What's the matter?
Just, you know, in my everyday clothes.
Yes.
Uh.
You look fantastic.
Thanks.
Yeah.
You look great.
Thanks.
I'm happy to see you.
Not all my own hair.
So.
Really?
Yeah.
You can even feel it.
Is the top knot real?
Because that's the part that should be real.
Some of the top is--
it's trying to be real.
You know?
Yeah.
Oh!
Yeah.
Yep.
I see where it starts.
Yep.
Yeah.
I get it.
Uh-huh.
Wow.
But it looks, like, kind of sexy, right?
Yeah.
How long is your hair without the additions?
Uh.
Oh.
You know, down to here.
No.
It's not.
No.
That's not true.
[WHISPERS] Come on!
You're giving away all my secrets.
But it looks-- no, you just--
you opened it up!
I know!
I know.
You just said it wasn't your hair.
I just need you to like, you know, jump on the bandwagon.
Well.
[LAUGHTER] All right.
Well, you look good, anyway.
Thanks.
What else is not real on you?
[LAUGHTER]
Uh.
Well.
Oh god.
So many things.
I'm kidding.
I don't want to know if there was a a part of you that
aren't--
It would be a whole different segment.
Congratulations on "Mom" getting picked up again.
[APPLAUSE]
Thanks.
[APPLAUSE]
You and Allison are so great together.
I love Allison.
You know that.
But on a scale of 1 to 10.
Since she's won that Oscar, how difficult is she on the set?
Well.
I, um.
I do feel a little bit envious when you say that you love her.
Because it makes me feel like you love her more than
you love me.
No.
But--
No.
Not true.
No.
She's been really difficult, though.
Yeah.
I mean, she's lovely.
Yeah.
Of course.
And she deserves it.
Yeah.
More than anybody.
Not really.
Like she--
Not more than anybody.
No.
More than anybody.
She deserves it.
OK.
She deserves another award.
You seem angry when you say it.
You seem really angry.
No, she does deserve it.
She's fantastic.
I love her so much.
I love her so much, too.
And I love you so much, as well.
Thank you.
And I mean it.
I think you look great.
And I know it's been a very difficult year for you,
I can imagine.
I don't know.
But I'm happy to see that you're happy, and everything's good.
Thank you.
And how's Jack?
He's amazing.
And--
He's a cute little kid.
He is.
He's so happy and sweet, and he's surrounded by love.
And we're really happy.
I know.
It's gross, isn't it?
How cute he is.
Yeah.
I mean those glasses.
Yeah.
Like some day, he probably won't need to wear them any more.
But I will still be like, put those glasses on!
But he's been wearing those glasses since I knew him.
Since he was like two years old.
Yeah.
They're adorable.
They are adorable.
Like.
Ugh.
And what is he doing there in that little--
I built him in nest.
So he sleeps-- that's where he sleeps.
Uh-huh.
Good.
All right.
Now, is he in school?
He's almost in school.
And we went through the process of applying, like, for schools.
Which is very new to me.
I grew up in, you know, Washington state,
with public schools.
So the whole LA school process has been terrifying.
And I went to this private school
where they had all the parents sit around in a circle.
And I don't know anybody.
And there's a bunch of toys in the middle of the circle.
And we were supposed to pick a toy out, and talk
about the weather.
That was the only instruction.
So, I thought, well, this must be like,
you know, this is like a group therapy session.
I guess.
So I said, you know, I have to go first.
I picked up a Teddy bear, and I was like, I have to go first.
Because if I don't, then I'm going
to be not thinking about or listening
to what anybody saying.
And just, whatever.
And I started to go on this monologue about how nervous I
was about this whole process.
And I'm nervous about like, what if we get rejected.
And like what if my kid doesn't wear the right thing?
And what if I have to do my kid's homework?
Like, what's your homework policy?
Because I don't want to do homework!
I don't know how to do homework, as you can tell.
[LAUGHTER]
And.
So eventually, after my like--
and I'm realizing, as I'm saying this, like, I
am putting my foot in my mouth.
So I passed the bear on to the next person.
And she was like, well, it's pretty sunny outside for me.
[LAUGHTER]
And she passed it to the next person, who said something
like, well, might rain soon.
And I was like, oh my god.
In general, I have no idea what I'm doing.
That has been confirmed in this moment, right now.
And I wanted to run out of there so fast.
Anyway.
We got rejected.
[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]
Thanks.
Thanks for making me feel better about it!
I could've told you that about two minutes ago.
Oh!
What?
So let's talk about Overboard.
So it's a remake of the Goldie Hawn.
You looked so much like Goldie, too.
I can imag-- I can see why they went right to you,
to ask you to do that.
All it takes is a little bleach.
Were you a fan of the original?
Oh my god.
Yes.
Yeah, I've watched that movie, I want to say like 4,000 times.
But it might be around 80 to 90.
But I was really nervous about remaking it.
Yeah.
Because I felt like such big shoes to fill.
But I'm really honored to be a part of it.
I love-- Eugenio Derbez is just incredible.
So.
Yeah.
It was really-- I did have to go into that water.
Yeah.
I'm not going to lie about that part.
Yeah.
I did it myself.
But that was not really you when he pushed you.
No.
It was me.
No.
I feel like you exaggerate.
That's all I'm going to say.
Oh.
Yeah.
What is this?
You-- I'm a guest on your show, and you accuse me
of exaggerating?
No!
What kind of a host are you?
I'm a horrible host.
I also never gave you that sippy cup back that I have of yours.
I still have Jack's sippy cup at the house.
I think I've thrown it away by now.
I'm so sorry.
Oh.
Yeah.
It was important memorabilia
I know.
You didn't save it.
You didn't come back for it.
Oh, what a jerk you are, Ellen.
I love you.
"Overboard" is in theaters everywhere on May 4.
Anna Ferris, everybody.