Let's get 'em, Boo!
Howdy! Let's take a look at some good old Cartoon Network special episodes.
Or, uh, bad Cartoon Network special episodes.
- Oh hohoho!
Whether they're holiday episodes or just labeled 'special' episodes,
let's see what we can find that's a real memorable level of lousy.
This is what I consider the top six worst Cartoon Network specials.
And of course, if you do like these specials, that's great!
It's just my silly personal opinion.
And if you ever see any special you'd pick instead, let me know in the comments.
Anyway, let's do this countdown!
Number six:
(Blossom) Hold back, girls! This could be dangerous!
(Buttercup) What are we, kindergardeners?
(Bubbles) Yeah, we are!
-(groan) I really wanted to like this one.
While the episode has a very unique animation style,
I can never quite tell if I'm impressed or terrified.
(Professor) Bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo!
Wheeeeee!
- There's plenty of action constantly happening in this special,
but there just isn't that special wit to it that we saw
in the first few seasons of Powerpuff Girls.
There's speed, but these fast jokes are strange oddities
that leave you mulling over what the funny part was meant to be.
(Both) You!
(yelling)
- That lack of wit and timing may have been due to the fact that
Craig McCracken, the original creator of the Powerpuff Girls,
wasn't in the slightest involved.
And for some reason, they still think this is a good idea.
You might be asking, why is it called "Dance Pants?'
Because Bubbles gets a game called "Dance Pants Revolution"
that turns her into an enslaved robotic dancing evil Bubbles
controlled by Mojo Jojo.
And she attacks the people of Townsville by... dancing better than them?
Well, points for originality.
And then Blossom and Buttercup also become evil dance robots-
okay, this is really stupid.
(All) Word.
- And they try to get the Powerpuff Girls back to normal by...
dancing them back to-to normal? What?!
(Mojo Jojo) Haha! Burrrn!
- This one's at the start of the list because even though it's a failed idea,
at least it comes from a creative place.
And I appreciate them trying this experimental animation style.
And admittedly, the ending's actually kind of funny.
(crowd cheering)
(Mojo Jojo) I'll be back!
We got a game next Tuesday!
- And the 5th worst Cartoon Network special is:
Cartoon Network used to have a "scary" tradition.
This tradition was to show yearly this claymation that looks like a disembodied dog's rear end.
You may be surprised to learn that these kids are not the evil ghouls of this special.
(Jimmy) You're not scared, are you?
(Hannah) Maybe a little.
- They are, in fact, our main characters.
Even though they look like Slenderman's little brothers.
I mean, what is with those eyes?
For some reason, everyone but Hannah and the witch weren't given any eyes.
They were just given strange black dots that look like Pac-Man swallowed Dorbies.
The plot's basically that the kids lock their friend Hannah in a haunted house
where she meets "Scary" Godmother.
(Godmother) (laughing) Hannah Marie!
Say hello to your scary godmother!
- Who ironically looks more friendly and non-threatening than all the other characters.
So Hannah parties it up with the monsters traditional Halloween-style.
Then comes back to scare her friends.
(vampires hiss)
(screaming)
Unfortunately, Hannah's the only character who really goes through any character development.
While the other kids are pretty much just robotic cyborgs
that might as well have a big sign saying "jerk" above them.
Most of the dialogue exchanges between the kids is awkward,
pointless, and just silly.
But some of the monsters Hannah meets actually have a little bit of personality
and are kind of interesting.
So this one's, again, earlier on the list.
(Hannah) Does everyone have a skeleton in their closet?
(Skully) Almost everyone, little miss.
- I like that Scary Godmother does try to capture some of the Halloween spirit.
It's just a shame it's executed with the finesse of a 50-ton steam roller.
And for #4:
There actually aren't that many bad Christmas specials.
But this remains my least favorite Dexter episode
and is a prime example of the phrase, "beating a dead horse."
So we start the special off with a cheesy, shabby rap from Dexter
about how he doesn't believe in Santa Claus.
Cute, I guess.
(Dexter) ♫ ...And then he puts his car up on the rooftop!
♫ Everybody say hooooo!
- Then of course when Dexter meets Santa Claus, he thinks it's his dad.
(Dexter) Alright, Dad. The jig is up.
(Santa) Ho?
- Despite his dad looking absolutely nothing like him.
Magically flying up a chimney,
having reindeer on the roof,
I mean, I guess I should find it cute that Dexter's so oblivious?
But I actually feel really bad for Santa when I watch this one.
We proceed to watch Santa valiantly attempting to fend off Dexter
as he continually annoys him,
trying to pull his beard off,
amputate his reindeer, and just make his life an overall misery.
But even when Santa flies away with his reindeer in his sleigh into the sky,
Dexter somehow 𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘭𝘭 thinks it's his dad.
It shifts from irritating to just plain stupid.
Come to think of it, even if it 𝘸𝘢𝘴 his dad and mum, which it clearly isn't,
why would he be okay with tackling, assaulting, amputating, and firing ballistic explosives at his parents?
(Santa) Hohohohohooo!
And then violently shaving them to the skin?
(Dexter) Hold still, father!
- So at the end, we see everyone devastated and wondering just as much as the viewer is
why Dexter spent the episode being such an obnoxious little twerp?
(Mom) Look at our Christmas tree!
- That's not funny. That's just unpleasant.
And we finish, of course, with a lovely message that Christmas isn't about the sharing and loving.
(Dee Dee) You blockhead! That's not what Christmas is about!
(Dexter) It's not? Then what 𝘪𝘴 it about?
(Santa) The presents.
- Yes, yes, thank you Santa.
Personally, "Dexter vs. Santa Claus" is among my least favorite Christmas specials.
And the third worst Cartoon Network special is:
Oh, come on, CN. You're making this too easy.
When we get an Almost Naked Animals special,
we get something on a 𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘤𝘪𝘢𝘭 level of bad.
This episode includes cupcakes made of snot,
grossout jokes, toilet jokes, and scariest of all,
the (gasp) ghost of the toilet!
(Howie) Made of toilet water?!
- 𝘌𝘷𝘪𝘭 toilet water!
So our hero Howie is flushed down this haunted toilet
and finds himself in an alternate version of Banana Cabana
with diet soda and brussel sprouts.
Fear!
So he has to figure out how to... flush himself down his toilet again and get back home.
As we cringe in horror the whole way through.
"Hotel of Horrors" has that standard grossout feel through the episodes
that Almost Naked Animals built its, uh, reputation on.
Even when the jokes aren't grossout, they just have all the enjoyment of hearing a bad yo' mama joke
while being punched in the face at the same time.
And the second worst Cartoon Network special is:
Blahh!
(Scaredy scatting)
- Oh come on, Scaredy Squirrel has a Halloween special?
Well let's press on and discover the giant dumpster trash heap miracle that we're in for.
I'm cheating a little with this one, as it did air on YTV before Cartoon Network.
So I admit, fair call if anyone nitpicks me on that.
What's impressive and such a novelty about Scaredy Squirrel
is you can put him and his ear-grating weaponized torture voice in any setting,
and he will by default create one of the worst holiday specials to ever grace the Cartoon Network channel.
Would you like to watch ten solid minutes of Scaredy Squirrel
screaming and wailing at every person on the street?
Me neither. But hey, it suits this list perfectly.
The animation remains its standard ugly budged CG.
(both screaming)
The jokes tend to involve screaming or grossout jokes or just snot jokes or eating bellybutton lint.
The plot's basically Scaredy Squirrel's trying to scare the other townsfolk
and fails pretty badly at it, and that's about it.
Scaredy Squirrel keeps its tradition in delivering us dreadfully poor entertainment from beginning to end.
And the #1 absolute worst Cartoon Network special is:
(Blossom) It's cool, we got it.
Oh, man.
(theme song) ♪ He's orange, he has a lot of friends
♪ they live together...
(lightsaber sound)
(groan) Really? You had to give Annoying Orange a holiday special?
This was already by 𝘧𝘢𝘳 the worst show to ever air on Cartoon Network.
But the damage of their biblical disaster was not yet great enough.
So they made this... 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨.
Okay, let's try and be fair and objective about this and score it out of ten,
looking at each element of the special.
(Orange) Talk about canned laughter! (audience laughs)
Number one: you're the Annoying Orange. Minus ten points right there.
Number two: Every single part of this title is bad.
We already know it's going to be rotten because it admits to being a generic holiday special.
Plus its title includes the two most annoying words in the English language: "annoying" and "orange."
Minus another ten points.
Number three: there was absolutely no effort putting into making this special creative, unique, or clever.
It seems to serve mostly to humiliate the celebrities who are unfortunate enough to take a place in it.
And given the whole freaking 𝘱𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘵 of CN taking on Annoying Orange
was to add some "young innovation" from the internet,
that means Annoying Orange fails to deliver both as a sellout piece of entertainment 𝘰𝘳 as a piece of art.
Minus another ten points.
Number four: like every episode, the faces leer at you,
and the voices make you want to slice up every piece of produce in sight.
Minus another ten points.
Number five, and this is the most tragic part of all:
What more could Annoying Orange possibly do to insult me on a fundamental level?
Well, what if they took my hero in entertainment
and forced him to do the most begrudging, embarrassing cameo of his life.
(Orange 'meh meh meh-ing' Little Drummer Boy)
(Both 'meh meh meh-ing' Little Drummer Boy)
That's right. We have to watch Weird Al Yankovic repeatedly sing 'bleh bleh bleh' with Annoying Orange.
And various other ways Orange can find to humiliate him throughout the episode.
And every moment poor Al is on screen, he looks reluctant, annoyed,
and it just says, "Jeez, I need to fire my agent."
Truly Annoying Orange is worth the time of one of the greatest,
most dedicated song comedians who ever lived.
The man who has been delivering constant creative, witty song satires for my entire life.
Minus one thousand points.
This is not a guest appearance. We're watching a hostage situation!
It's actually kind of disturbing to watch!
Annoying Orange, just... screw you for this.
This episode, like all of Annoying Orange, is rotten.
Problem Solvers, Twelve-Ounce Mouse,
these are innovative artistic 𝘥𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘮𝘴 compared to this show.
This special manages to make the biggest smear on CN's reputation even worse by its mere existence.
It's stupid, it's vapid, it's thoughtless,
and I just really hope Weird Al fired his agent.
I hope all the celebrities fired their agents after this.
Interestingly, it seems like even the creatives tried to cover this one after they made it.
Because even finding a DVD copy is near impossible, or any record of its airing.
The only one who seems to be enjoying the performance is the Annoying Orange's voice
who seems to have this strange fantasy about Maria Menounos having a crush on him.
And I truly think her eyes say it all.
(Maria) Orange and I are just friends!
I'm sweet on 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 guy!
(dance Christmas music)
What a man, whoo!
- The Annoying Orange couldn't have given me a bigger insult
if the creator had just walked up to my doorstep and taken a dump on my "unwelcome" mat.
Annoying Orange Generic Special is by 𝘧𝘢𝘳
the worst Cartoon Network special of all time. Easily.
(explosion)
(sigh)
As for dishonorable mentions, well actually, there aren't any.
While I knew #1 from the start, Cartoon Network normally delivers
their absolute A-game on their specials.
And they're normally really memorable.
But of course, if you can think of one I forgot,
feel free to let me know in the comments.
And as always, thanks for watching, and I'll see you next time!