At the beginning of any relationship, emotions are high.
Your hormones are running rampant, the passion is totally there, and you’re willing to
do almost anything to make sure that the relationship lasts.
But after a while, and especially after marriage, those feelings begin to wear off.
You fall into a daily routine and the excitement slowly and surely wears off.
You might even say that the marriage and relationship is becoming a little boring.
But fear not, because there are some ways to reignite that spark that you and your spouse
once shared.
And in this YouTube video, I’ll tell you exactly how.
Hey, I’m Brad Browning and I’m a marriage coach from Vancouver, Canada.
Complacency and boredom in marriage is one of the most common problems that I hear about.
And it usually happens once the couple gets married and the honeymoon phase ends.
And while that feeling of loving comfort is awesome in a marriage, it can become a bigger
problem when you feel a little bit too comfortable in your marriage.
Everyone needs some level of excitement, discovery, challenge, and motivation in a marriage…
and that’s why it’s important to keep some of those components alive in your marriage.
So in this video, I’m going to talk about 9 ways to battle complacency in your marriage.
Let’s jump right into it.
Number 1: Good Conversation
How long has it been since you and your partner talked?
And I mean really talked.
Sure you may still ask how their day was, or what they have planned for the weekend,
but to avoid making your marriage feel like the same old song and dance, it’s important
to keep the conversation original.
One way to do this is by acting as though you’re still getting to know your partner,
and talk like you did when you first got together.
By doing this you will continue to learn new things about your partner, and it’ll help
keep the flame alive.
Remember to be patient with your spouse, they may not be as keen to converse as you are,
but a pleasant tone and positive outlook will eventually get them chatting.
Number 2: You Get What You Give
If you want excitement in your relationship, you need to be exciting.
The best way to do this is by telling your spouse how you feel, and making a pact to
address the problem together.
If you’ve already tried this and nothing has changed, then you may need to make some
changes on your own.
Start by breaking some of your habits.
For example, if you’re used to coming home, throwing on your favorite sweatpants, and
eating dinner in front of the TV, then make a conscious effort to stop doing it.
Instead, look your best and have dinner together at the table.
Removing the TV from your meal will make space for conversation and the chance to spend some
quality time together.
Try to treat every night like date night in some way.
You don’t have to go all out, but understand that putting an effort into wooing your spouse
can make things feel like they did when you were still courting one another.
Number 3: Romance
To battle complacency and boredom in a marriage, it’s crucial to keep your romance and physical
relationship in tip top shape.
Just because you’re married doesn’t mean you should settle for less intimacy or convince
yourself that it’s normal for couples to become more distant over time.
Stirring up romance can be as easy as surprising your spouse with a candlelight dinner or breakfast
in bed.
It’s about taking the time to express your love and appreciation, and at the same time
have some fun together.
It only takes a small gesture to show your spouse that you still love them.
Simply offering to rub their shoulders after a long day at work, or holding their hand
while you’re walking may seem like a small action, but it speaks volumes.
If the romance has been put aside because of personal insecurities, complimenting your
spouse regularly will boost their confidence, and could help them become more romantic and
open.
If you have any romantic tips or ideas that you would like to share, please do so in the
comments below.
I’d love to hear your suggestions and I might even give you a shout out in my next
video!
Number 4: Recreation
One of the best ways to fight boredom is by being active together.
To do this, find things that you and your spouse enjoy doing, and do them together.
It could be a physical activity like biking or bowling, an evening stroll around the neighbourhood,
or even cooking classes together.
Engaging in activities as a couple will not only get you moving and shake off boredom,
but again, it’ll give you something to talk about and look forward to together.
If you’re interested in learning more ways to discover shared interests with your spouse
you can check out my YouTube video on the topic that I released just a week ago!
Number 5: Intellectual Stimulation
This is a factor that is often overlooked, but interacting with your partner on an intellectual
level will keep you interested in one another.
Read a book together and talk about the story or what you’ve learned.
If reading isn’t your thing, try visiting a museum or watching a documentary.
If you’re more the hands on type, challenge your spouse to a game of chess, or take a
language course together.
Keeping yourselves mentally stimulated is a great way to prevent boredom, and again,
these types of exercises can break up your mundane routines.
Number 6: Getting Some Help
Even if your marriage is seemingly doing well, getting a counsellor to help fuse the marriage
closer together can be a great idea.
After all, even good marriages can be great, and great marriages can be excellent.
Always striving to improve your marriage is one of the best ways to make sure that the
foundation of your marriage is strong.
Of course, you don’t HAVE to hire a counsellor to do this for you.
I do offer one on one personal email coaching.
So if you’re interested in taking your marriage to the next level and you think that I can
do that for you, then hit up MarriageGuy.com/coaching.
I only have a very limited number of slots for this service, so if you see that I have
room, then please consider registering!
Number 6: Laughter
Laughter is a powerful medicine, especially when it comes to boredom.
Look for common ground with your partner when it comes to comedic tastes.
Whether it’s parody, slapstick, or dry humour, pick movies and shows that you’ll both enjoy.
If you want to skip the movie but keep the laughs, consider visiting a local comedy bar
or stand-up event.
To add in some personal flare, reminisce about some of the funny moments you have shared
together over the years.
Laughter is contagious, and of the best ways to bring passion back into the relationship.
Number 7: Travel Plans
If you’re feeling bored or complacent, consider taking a vacation together.
Not only are vacations fun, but changing your location can also help change your outlook.
In fact, many couples feel closest when travelling together, especially when it’s to somewhere
neither have ever been.
Without everyday distractions, it’ll give you time to focus entirely on each other and
the experience you are sharing.
If you think you’ll need at least a year to save for a vacation, think again.
Vacations don’t have to be lavish, even a camping trip or day adventure in a nearby
city can help get couples out of a relationship rut.
If you are saving for a grand getaway, be sure to keep your marriage exciting along
the way.
Try a “staycation” and explore new restaurants or activities in your own city.
These new experiences will give you and your spouse something fresh to do and talk about,
and why wait a year to spice things up when you can start today.
Number 8: Encouraging Personal Development
A big part of being a couple is encouraging each other to grow as individuals.
By supporting your spouse to chase their dreams and set goals will not only show them that
you care about their well-being and personal endeavours, but in turn they will appreciate
your support.
Doing so could mean making sacrifices and being understanding.
For example, if your spouse needs to put in more hours at the office, or wants to enroll
in an educational course it could mean less time together.
However, your spouse will appreciate you supporting their ventures and will want to share their
experiences with you.
This new project will excite them, make for new conversations, and could even reignite
the spark in your marriage.
Before I wrap this video up I’d like to say that no matter how long you and your spouse
have been together, or how tough life can get, it’s important that you don’t lose
the intimacy in your marriage or simply brush off feeling of complacency.
One of the biggest mistakes you can make is to assume things will fix themselves - you
need to put in the extra work and nurturing to keep your marriage enjoyable for both of
you.
Thanks so much for watching, I hope you enjoyed the video and are able to take some of my
tips and put them to good use.
If you have any feedback for me, please feel free to post in the comments below and subscribe
to my YouTube channel.
Again, you can visit my website to watch the full video presentation at MarriageGuy.com.
Well that’s all for now, so until next time, good luck and take care!