I’m closer to 30 than I am to 20 and I think about that quite a bit.
Let’s talk about some of the things I’m glad I’ve done in my life so far, some things
I’ve learned and advice I’d give to someone I really care about.
2.
You don’t need to stay friends with someone just because you’ve been friends for a long
time.
I’ve had friendships fizzle out when I’ve realized that we were only really friends
because we went to the same school or lived in the same area, and we would’ve probably
never been friends otherwise.
I realized one friendship in particular was quite over when whenever we hung out I felt
drained by our indifferences and our drastically different ways of viewing the world.
3.
Just because someone is an “adult” it doesn't make them trustworthy or a good person.
Somehow, perhaps naturally, before entering adulthood, we tend to view anyone older than
us as these aliens who have everything figured out and who know what’s best for everyone.
Nope, most of us are still clueless kids in a bigger format with some more experience.
4.
Memento mori.
Remember you will die.
It’s not something we want to be walking around thinking about.
But sometimes, when I feel super nervous or anxious about something, I’ll remind myself
that no one will care about this situation or me or any of these people in a hundred
years, because guess what?
None of us will be here.
Memento mori.
It’s both terrifying and comforting at the same time.
But I hope it’s the good kind of terror.
The terror that makes you stop taking life for granted, because you’re aware that it
could be taken away from you at any moment.
Sorry for the existential dread, I promise that’s the first and last intentional moment
of that throughout this video.
5.
There was a period of time in my life when I’d think about my life purpose A LOT.
What was it?
Where would I find it?
I think I was asking the wrong questions.
The question should’ve been “what would I like my life purpose be?”.
Purpose isn’t found; it’s something you choose and then build on.
At least that’s how I see it now.
And it’s many different things.
One of my purposes is being a dog mom.
And spoiling him.
Which I really did recently.
I mean BIG TIME.
Take a look: (integration)
6.
Please, please, please do not get comfortable in isolation.
Other people are the most valuable thing we have in our lives.
I truly believe that.
Yes, get comfortable being on your own.
Yes, create a life where you don’t need someone else to survive.
But please don’t underestimate the importance of strong, healthy relationships.
You need to have someone you can call.
Someone you can drag with you to a boring event that you need to attend.
Someone who’ll come pick you up in a heartbeat if you’re in trouble.
Just one person.
And also, we don’t remember the hours we’ve spent on the couch alone; we remember the
times we’ve spent with people who made us feel at home.
7.
If EVERYONE around you is telling you that this person, whoever it is in your life,
isn’t good for you, it’s not because they don’t know that person like you do.
It’s because you’re blinded by rose tinted glasses.
They’re right, you’re wrong.
Most likely.
8.
You’ll get over your first heartbreak.
I promise.
9.
Moving on to something completely different: I’m glad I got an iPad about a year ago.
Reading on an iPad and taking notes with an apple pencil, totally changed my reading experience.
Although a Kindle is very convenient to just throw in your bag, I don’t use it nearly
as much now that I read on my iPad.
10.
A question I think is good to ask yourself, whether it refers to your work or a friendship
or relationship to kind of figure out whether or not the situation is right for you, is,
“if I could start over, would I pick this again?”.
So let’s take the relationship as an example.
Ask yourself: If I wasn’t with this person right now, would I still pick them, or would
I look for someone else?”.
If it’s the latter, you’re probably just in that relationship or whatever the situation
is out of comfort or convenience.
11.
'Once a task is just begun, never leave it till it's done.
Be the labour great or small, do it well or not at all.'
Quincy Jones.
Basically, don’t half-ass things.
Don’t do half the dishes or make your bed like you don’t give a damn.
I have so much respect for people who fully commit to even the smallest of tasks and don’t
leave them half done and I strive to always be that person myself.
12.
Assumptions are the devil.
Ask instead.
13.
You know that plan you have for your life?
College at 19, engaged by 22, married by 27 and buying a house by 30?
May not turn out that way.
Not saying it’ll turn out better or worse, may just be different.
Be open to that.
Don’t obsess over living after a manual you’ve created in your own head.
Be aspirational and put in the work, but trust your timeline, you little control freak.
Note to self.
14.
The only person who has to believe in you is yourself.
If you’re waiting for everyone else to get onboard with your plan or goal, you’ll be
waiting for a long time, perhaps forever.
The approval needs to come from YOU and you alone.
Sure it’s nice to have others to support you and hopefully you have someone in your
life that does, but it shouldn’t be a requirement.
15.
I put everything in my calendar.
As an adult with responsibilities, I don’t have the ability to be spontaneous to the
extent I was when I was 21, and there’s simply no way for me to remember the date,
time and location for every single thing I have planned.
Dinner arrangement?
Put it in the calendar.
Need to get groceries?
Put it in the calendar.
I love it.
Why use my brain as storage
for things I could just write down?
16.
You wanna know what happens when you wait around for opportunities to come knock on
your door?
Nothing.
Not a single thing.
Put yourself out there.
Go out into the world.
It’s your playground if you want it to be.
17.
I accidentally ripped my pants today.
My reaction was exactly this “That was not great, but it happened.”
I brushed it off so quickly I even surprised myself.
Do I always react like this when I do something clumsy (which happens quite frequently)?
No.
But I make an effort to.
I don’t want to be the type of person who is reactive.
I want peace, and peace comes with not getting worked up over the small inconveniences in
life.
Also note to self.
18.
Regret hurts more than rejection.
19.
So, I’m someone who likes to film myself quite frequently.
I like documenting the things I’m going through.
Am I saying I have clips of myself ugly crying because I feel like my world's falling apart?
Yes, that’s exactly what I’m saying.
I look back on some of those clips today and laugh.
Not because I’m invalidating the feelings of my past self.
I’d never do that.
I laugh because I think “damn, I made it through.”
I’m much stronger than I think.
And so are you.