- Hello there, in this video we are talking about
how to develop your inner coach or coach yourself
or teach your clients how to coach themselves
out of any situation.
In this video, I'm discussing a topic
that I think is widely important for today's times.
The reason being a lot of our clients very often
do not have the ability to just pick up the phone
and talk to their coach.
It's expensive to talk to your coaches
which is why very often I like to suggest
tools for my clients to be able to manage their states
and coach themselves out of certain situations.
You may have observed that very often you have
an inner voice, an inner chatter, if I may,
as Evercoach calls it.
These are conversations that you're having with yourself.
Sometimes they are out loud
and you can really hear that conversation with yourself,
and very often they are happening just subtly,
just in the background, without you really realizing
on how it is creating an impact in your life.
Very often, this is inner voice or this inner chatter
is what really defines your character.
Once this inner chatter starts to tell you
a particular narrative, you start to believe
and your being starts to get influenced by that chatter,
by those thoughts, by those opinions
that you have of yourself.
While this character gets developed,
this character also starts to take control of your life.
They start making decisions for you.
Good decisions, bad decisions, or any decisions,
but they are taking control of all the decisions
that are happening in your life
which of course intern influences the actions
that you may or may not take,
which in turn influences the results
that you get in your life.
Now, why I've explain this whole structure
of your inner dialogue, creating the character
which is creating decisions, which is creating actions
which are leading to your results,
you may realize that most of the time
you are looking at your life as a series of results
that you have got or you want to get.
Very often we wake up in the morning and say,
"Hey today, I would like to do X,
or yesterday my day was like this,
and so today I would like to have my day like this
or my month like this or my years like this."
Human beings focus towards the results
because it's easier to comprehend
and it's something to look forward to
or something that we can hold onto.
And because of that
our focus is all the way stayed on results.
But as you must have already realized
results are a consequence of the inner dialogue,
inner voice, inner chatter, whatever you want to call it,
which means if we can work on that inner chatter,
we can probably influence our results.
Let me explain that with an example
that you may either come to love or may come to hate.
But before I go there, I wanna invite you
to listen to that inner chatter
and hit that red subscribe button if you have not yet.
Hit that red subscribe button
and become a subscriber with us.
Now, back to how does inner chatter, inner dialogue,
inner voice influence your results
and how you wanna change those
so you can have better results
and results that are in alignment with you.
So let's take an example.
This is a very popular concept
very often spoken in the coaching and training industry.
Are you somebody who is in the coaching profession
or training professional or wants to do it,
and suffer from something which is a psychological concept
called imposter syndrome?
Do you feel like an imposter?
Do you feel like who are you
to create change in somebody's life?
Do these dialogues go on in your head?
Do you ask yourself constantly or frequently
that are you worthy creating change in somebody's life?
Are you worthy being a coach or a trainer or an educator?
If that is you, that is a classic inner chatter example.
And inner chatter is actually very well-informed,
it's really smart.
It took a psychological concept called imposter syndrome
and really magnified it to almost question your existence,
question your purpose, question your activity
towards wanting to create a positive change in the society.
It became so powerful that right now you may be feeling
that you are not good enough to be a coach.
You may have made the decision to not reach out
in the outside world and coach someone.
You may have stopped yourself from any decision whatsoever
and stay in the lane of indecision,
which is a decision in itself.
You may have stopped yourself from taking actions because
you couldn't make a decision
and hence you may be suffering right now
with no clients whatsoever.
You see how an informed chatter can lead
to lack of results in your life.
While the chatter, the conversation, the inner dialogue
that inner voice is trying to protect you
by telling you you're suffering from imposter syndrome.
Let me tell you that if we could work on this conversation,
this inner voice in this inner dialogue on this chatter,
we may be able to actually get you into action.
Let's understand your inner voice first.
You see our inner voice is largely influenced
by our past or our future.
Let's take an example.
If you have felt a anxiety, fear, concern about something
about your capability in the past 24 hours.
I want to remember that instance and find the trigger.
Find the trigger that may have caused you to feel anxiety,
fear, lack of confidence
or any of such negative emotions
that may not create progress in your life.
So go ahead and take a second and think about
what triggered it, the emotion itself
and then what happened right before
you felt that emotion.
Now most likely there's an event
that triggers these emotions.
This event is usually a function of something
that has happened in the past
or something that is probable in the future.
Let me explain with an example.
So say for example, you were on Instagram,
only minding your own business, crawling away,
enjoying and getting the dopamine rush,
and enjoying the dopamine that you're getting.
And suddenly you saw somebody
who was in the same field as you
and looked at their profile, looked at their posts,
and saw how many likes they got.
As you looked at their likes, you suddenly realize
that you don't have the same number of likes
and that maybe they know something that you don't
and that maybe you're not good enough
because it doesn't look like you,
in the future can get those many followers,
and hence those many likes.
This is your future influencing your present
and starting a narrative that is not helpful to you.
Another version of the story could be
you look at the same person Instagram posts,
looked at the number of likes, looked at what they are doing
and thought about how you tried
to post something similar in the past,
and it really didn't get that much traction
and that because it didn't get traction at that time
you probably won't get traction
if you posted something similar
even if you really knew that idea really well
and could really present it very well.
You feel like your presentation doesn't really land
with your audience because it didn't in the past,
and hence you won't get the same amount of visibility
or love or acceptance from a community of individuals
that you truly don't really know
because they're on Instagram behind their phones themselves.
I'm exaggerating a little bit of course,
but point I'm really trying to make is anything
that triggered those emotions for you
that was building your character,
giving you a false belief of imposter syndrome
or whatever that may be,
is actually a function of an experience
that has happened in your past
or a function of something that is a probable future
that you feel scared about or impossible about.
And that is where your chatter really starts,
because suddenly now you're making up stories.
You're making them stories about how it didn't work
in the past or how it won't work in the future,
and hence it doesn't work right now.
And that is how your imposter syndrome
or any other belief that you've picked up from the world
maybe showing up through this inner voice,
through this inner chatter and creating a life for you
that is out of your true essence and your true character.
And because of it out of your true essence
and your true character, you start to build up a character
that is more designed to save you then to explore you
and to expand you.
And as you design your character to save you
from the outside influences, you start to make decisions
that are also safe decisions,
puts you into a state of inaction or a smaller action
than you could possibly take,
which of course creates a result
that then starts feeding your chatter again.
It starts to feel your inner voice again
because now you go see of course I didn't get results,
of course, and because I didn't get results
I would never get results and that is how it is.
And see, I have imposter syndrome,
and see that is why I wasn't putting out my content
or I wasn't sharing the insight information that I had.
And it becomes a self-fulfilling cycle,
and you wanna get out of the cycle.
So the way you wanna get yourself
out of this inner dialogue, inner voice, inner chatter
is to start to create a new character for yourself.
So this technique works in this way.
Like our inner voice influences our character, our being,
our being influences our inner voice.
So the way to change your inner voice
to start influencing you in a voice
is to change the way you are, who you are as a person.
And the way to make it happen is to do it pragmatically.
There are techniques that would allow you
to completely switch around your inner chatter
and your inner narrative and you're inner voice
and we've talked about that in previous videos
and we'll link it up below this video
for you to go check it out,
but if those techniques are not working for you,
here's another way to approach it.
You see how our inner voice influence our character,
which influence our decision making,
which influence our actions, which influence our results,
it also works the other way around.
If we change our actions,
it changes and influences the way we make decisions,
which changes the way we are as people
which influences our inner dialogue, and inner conversations
and inner chatter.
So what we want to do is we wanna start asking ourselves
the question of what are the small actions
that moves me towards understanding
my current inner dialogue.
So say for example, you believe you have imposter syndrome.
Let's just assume then that's a thing
and that happens for you.
And you've told that story to yourself enough times
for you to believe that's true.
What you would do is you would ask yourself
what are the actions I can take to get past
anything that makes me believe or doubt my capabilities.
So for example, if you believe you have imposter syndrome
and hence you cannot coach,
ask yourself how can I coach just one person,
just one person some way I don't have to get paid.
A small action that is towards the direction
of more confidence in your abilities
would move you away from the belief
that you are an imposter.
Imposter syndrome is simply you feeling
that you are an imposter,
but if you are taking action towards something
and it's a small action,
not something that needs a tremendous amount
of belief in yourself, but a small action
like coaching somebody at a cafe
or coaching somebody without even telling them
you're coaching them, but to see what really happens
without charging them anything or anything like that.
Just having conversation with question speed
and see if that really creates an insight
for the person sitting across the table from you.
That small action would give you more confidence
and more understanding
that you do not have imposter syndrome
that you have told yourself a story
because you have a greater ability
than what your previously imagined.
So take small action, because when you take a small action
it influences your ability to make better decisions.
For example, if you go out and take action
and coach somebody at a cafe
without expecting anything in return,
it will show you that you can make better decisions.
You can make a decision that is towards the outcome
that you want not away from the outcomes that you want.
You want to become a better coach.
You want to have that as a career.
You want to influence and impact people's lives.
Well, now you can make a better decision
because you already saw that you can take an action
towards coaching someone.
So you can make a better decision next time
and now you can say, "Okay, I took that small action
that helped somebody.
Maybe I can take small actions like these
that will help some people."
Now you're somebody who is taking decision
that is towards the outcome that they want,
which is to coach individual.
And once that happens,
now your character starts to get influenced,
your belief starts to influence.
You start to now go, I can coach,
or there is a possibility that I can create outcomes.
I can sit in the conversation and be present.
I can sit in the conversation
and ask meaningful powerful questions.
I have the ability to surprise myself.
And soon enough, you will find that your inner voice,
your inner chatter, your inner dialogue starts to change.
It is not doubting your abilities anymore,
it's asking more and more questions towards
what is it that I have not considered yet about myself?
What is it that I can be more curious about?
What is it that I can do or be
so I can move towards my goals?
Like your inner chatter, your inner dialogue
influences your actions and your results,
your results and your actions can also inversely impact
your inner narrative, your inner voice, your inner chatter.
So if you could get yourself to just take small steps
towards the direction that you truly want to go to,
you will find slowly but surely
that your inner dialogue, your inner voice
starts to quieten down or becomes more affirmative,
more positive.
So don't listen to your inner voice
especially if it is making suggestions
against your good judgment.
Use your actions to influence your inner voice
so you can change the reality
that you currently operate in
so that you can become a better more empowered coach,
a better more empowered human being.
Now, this is just one of the many strategies
that one can use to be able to influence their inner voice,
inner dialogue.
We have many such videos that will show you
how you can coach yourself or work in your inner voice.
I'm gonna link them up below,
I would love for you to take a journey through all of them
and get more advanced in understanding
how you can work on yourself on your inner coach
and also help your clients get better
with their on the coach.
So in those coaching sessions,
they can get even better outcomes.
Now I know you must have loved this video
because this is such a powerful strategy.
So go ahead like this video,
leave me a comment sharing what you found interesting
about this video.
Share it with somebody that you think can use this technique
in their life
and if for some reason you still haven't subscribed
go hit that red subscribe button
so you can get our notification week after week.
Thank you so much for watching this video.
This is Ajit Nawalkha
and you are watching this on Evercoach.