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>>STEVE: Hey guys, welcome to SourceFed, I'm Steve Zaragoza.
George R.R. Martin, the creator, writer, GOD of the Song of Ice and Fire/Game of Thrones
series' is taking FOREVER to finish the last 2 books in the series, "The Winds of Winter"
and "The Dream of Spring". The fans have expressed their frothing intensity and worry for a long
time, even before the television series aired. Will G R.R. Martin even be ABLE to finish
the series? Ok, so he's 65, and he's a bit of a larger gentleman, the concern is, sort
of legitimate. But from ol' Georgie boy's perspective, he's being faced with his mortality
on a constant basis. From strangers. And it sucks. So what does George R.R. Martin say,
when asked the question for the billionth time, in an interview with a Swiss newspaper?
"FUCK YOU"
And then he flipped off the camera.
Don't believe me? Here's a photo. But Steve, photo's can be doctored to feature anyone
doing anything! FINE, here's video proof! (SHOW VIDEO CLIP). Still don't believe it?
Even better! Here to comment, in person on the incident, Mr. George R.R. Martin. George
thank you for joining us!
GEORGE: Yeah whatever. Fuck you.
>>STEVE: It's a pleasure
So what's going on George? Clearly you're upset about the outcry of fan pestering's.
>>GEORGE: Well, Steve. I get a constant barrage
of letters, phone calls, tweets, twingles, and twusters, and frankly I'm sick of it.
>>STEVE: I get it George, but you've created
a series beloved by billions all over the world, that spun off into a television show,
you've birthed characters and places that people have fallen deeply in love with. You
hold the key to their emotions in your hand! Imagine if you will, that you're a beloved
character in say, a book.
>>GEORGE: OK. Interesting concept, I'm sort of on board.
>>STEVE: Everyone LOVES that book. And everyone LOVES you!
GEORGE: What's that like?
>>STEVE: Your character does amazing things. Changes the world even! your dialogue creates
intense heart tears! There's toys and t-shirts of you, and then all of a sudden it turns
out that that bag of chips you've been eating during this entire interview is POISONED!
>>GEORGE: (COUGH HACK!) WHAT?
NOT MY BUGLES!
>>STEVE: It's too late George. That's fast acting
poison.
>>GEORGE: NO! Oh god. I'm dying in this hypothetical really good book you created!
Oh WHY?!
>>STEVE: Now think about all those people that love you so very much, and how they'd react!
>>GEORGE: All the crying! The tears! Like a
million voices crying out at once, then suddenly silenced... Cuz I died!
>>STEVE: And that's all I'm trying to say! The
people who are pestering you, they're just worried about the beloved REAL LIFE character
George R.R. Martin. Just go finish those books George.
GEORGE: It's not that easy Steve. I have to
confess something I've never told anyone but my wife, I'm sorry Parris, I love you so much.
>>STEVE: Wow an exclusive! Go ahead George,
please! The camera is yours.
>>GEORGE: (Which one, is that one mine, ok.) Everyone. Listen.
I... I'll die if I finish
the books...
>>STEVE: Wait what?
>>GEORGE: Steve, please. Let me explain. Years ago, as a boy, I sold my soul to El Diablo,
you'll know him as the Devil. In exchange, I'm immortal and get unlimited Bugles. The
only catch is. I can never finish my books. Or I'll die.
>>STEVE: Oh my god. So you've just been stalling
all of these years! And the fans begging you to finish the books is just a constant reminder
that you actually just CAN'T, or you'll die.
>>GEORGE: FUCK YOU! I mean, sorry, yeah, You got it.
>>STEVE: George, I have the answer. I can save
you. With this magic crystal and pen, I'm going to write a book, where you never sold
your soul to the devil. But you still wrote a series of books that changed the world,
and made billions happy. You'd get your life, and soul back. And you'd get to finish the
books, without fear of the devil.
>>GEORGE: Oh my gosh. Steve. You'd, you'd do that for me?
>>STEVE: Of course George. I, I love you.
>>GEORGE: Oh my gosh. Steve. Thank you. Thank
you so much. My god. You saved me Steve. You saved me from the devil. You saved me from
hell and the Diablo. Can I give you a hug?
>>STEVE: We don't have the budget for that.
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