What’s up YouTube, I’m Brad Browning and you are watching my latest video about how
to get your ex back…. or more specifically, in this video I’m going to explain how not
to get your ex back.
I’ll tell you what you shouldn’t be doing if you want to win back your ex and live happily
ever after.
Most of you probably know about me already, but if not, like I said my name is Brad Browning..
I’m a relationship coach and breakup expert based in Vancouver, Canada… and I’m also
author of The Ex Factor Guide, a best-selling program that walks readers through the process
of getting their ex back.
Anyway, I already know you want your ex back, because you’re watching this video… but
what you may not realize is that often it’s more important to know what you SHOULDN’T
do rather than what you SHOULD do.
Tons of people in your situation have a good chance of reuniting with their ex, but they
unknowingly do or say things that end up ruining their shot.
There are two reasons people do dumb things that push their ex further away and hurt their
chances of getting their ex back.
The first reason is because they get overwhelmed with emotion and can’t control the urge
to say or do something that they know is probably a bad idea.
For example, if the breakup ended as a result of cheating or a big argument, a person might
send their ex an angry message full of hurtful comments.
You know it’s a dumb thing to do, but you can’t help yourself.
Obviously, you don’t need me to tell you that this kind of impulsive heat-of-the-moment
things are a bad idea, but hopefully you’ve got the self-restraint to avoid doing stuff
like that.
The second reason people do dumb stuff that ruins their chances of getting their ex back
is much more common.
It’s because what you think is the right course of action to get him or her back….
what seems, logically, to be the obvious right way to change your ex’s mind about breaking
up… is actually the complete opposite of what you should be doing.
Let me give you an example.
Most people, in the weeks after a breakup, try to reach out to their ex and talk to them
about their relationship and the breakup.
Maybe they’ll be looking for closure, maybe trying to convince their ex to give them another
chance.
Either way, doing that is actually an absolute, 100% guaranteed way to make things worse.
You don’t want to be talking to your ex at all in the first few weeks after the breakup,
even though it probably seems like an obvious thing to do at first.
Even though it’s counter-intuitive, avoiding any contact with your ex is a must for some
time after the breakup.
Trust me on this…. even if you think you’ve got something to say that will change his
or her mind, don’t talk to your ex.
For the first while after your breakup, you want to “shock” your ex into experiencing
how difficult it is deal with your sudden disappearance.
Your ex was used to having you around all the time, and when you suddenly vanish, the
pain and feelings of missing you will be much stronger if you completely disappear than
if you continue to talk to your ex regularly.
Another common mistake, and a great thing to do if you want to blow your shot at getting
back together, is to talk with your ex about the relationship or the breakup.
Pretty much any kind of “serious” discussion -- where you bring up old drama, go over old
arguments, or discuss the things that led to your breakup -- is a recipe for disaster.
This type of stuff is what caused your ex to lose his or her feelings for you in the
first place… it’s what caused the collapse of your relationship.
How is re-hashing old disputes or re-visiting problems from the past relationship going
to make your ex want to take you back?
All that does is remind your ex why they wanted out.
What you need is for your ex to let go of those bad memories and problems that led to
the breakup.
And in fact studies have shown that negative memories tend to fade over time much more
quickly than positive memories, meaning that your period of “no contact” after the
breakup can help your ex forget about the negatives and latch on to the more nostalgic
and positive stuff.
Every time you talk with your ex about the relationship, or engage into any kind of bickering,
drama, or mind games… you’re only digging yourself a deeper hole and making yourself
look less attractive in the eyes of your ex.
See, the thing many people don’t recognize is that the key to getting your ex back is
to change their perception of you from “loser ex who isn’t right for me” into “great
catch that I’m compatible with”.
Obviously, because you’re broken up, your ex thinks of you in a negative light… or
at least, the level of attraction has faded to the point where they no longer want to
be with you.
So when you change that perception -- when you do and say things that re-build attraction,
and you suddenly start to look more like the guy or girl that they first fell in love with
-- then your ex will begin to have doubts about the breakup, and will start to think
of you in a romantic way again.
Of course, it goes without saying that any type of begging, pleading, or repeatedly apologizing
to your ex after the breakup is a bad idea.
Remember, you’re supposed to have no contact at first, and especially nothing serious or
dramatic.
Begging and pleading make you look desperate and needy, which obviously isn’t going to
make you more attractive in the eyes of your ex.
Another thing you shouldn’t be doing is outwardly showing your emotions.
Don’t log on to Facebook and tell the world how heartbroken you are.
Don’t post sad quotes to Instagram or stop talking to your friends because you’re too
upset to leave the house.
When your ex sees this, it’s just going to reinforce their belief that they’re making
the right decision.
If you get on with life, act positive and upbeat around other people, and begin moving
on with life, your ex is going to second-guess their choice to let you walk out of their
life.
Ideally, you want your ex to think you’re actually thriving since the breakup, because
it will be unexpected and can cause a little bit of jealousy, which can be useful.
Finally, if you want your ex back, you should avoid spending all your time worrying about
what he or she is doing.
It’s tempting to stalk your ex on Facebook, talk to mutual friends, and overanalyze every
word that comes out of their mouth.
What does it mean?
Do they miss me?
Is that someone new they’re dating?
Don’t drive yourself nuts by constantly trying to analyze what your ex is doing and
what it means.
It doesn’t matter, anyway….
you can’t control what your ex does, but you can control your own actions, so that’s
where you should focus your time and effort.
Before I finish this video, let’s review the things you shouldn’t be doing if you
want your ex back:
No begging, pleading, apologizing repeatedly, or promising to change;
No serious talks, no discussing the relationship or breakup, no arguments or bickering;
As much as possible, no talking to your ex at all for a few weeks after the breakup;
No sad Facebook posts, spending nights at home alone crying to yourself, or endlessly
whining to the world about your heartache; And no stalking your ex or over analyzing
every little thing they say or do.
If you can successfully avoid doing those things, you’re already in better shape than
many people in your situation.
If you’ve already made these mistakes, or you want to learn more about how to re-build
your ex’s attraction and eventually win them back, then the next video you watch should
be the one on my website.
The URL is www.BreakupBrad.com…
go there after this video, click on the button to select your gender, and watch the full
free presentation.
You’ll learn some sneaky psychological tactics that’ll help win back your ex, and you’ll
learn what you should say to your ex to make them want you back.
Again, the link for that video is www.BreakupBrad.com.
If you enjoyed this video or learned something, please hit that like button, I really appreciate
it.
I also enjoy reading your comments and answering some of your questions, so feel free to comment
below and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can.
Alright YouTube, thanks so much for watching… that’s it for now, see you next time!