*Mental Meta Metal Instrumental Starts*
*Sigma Appears*
Sigma: Agent Maine. Isn't that the solder from the freeway?
Sigma: The one that shot you in the throat.?
*Meta Growling*
Sigma: I thought so.
Sigma: Sick Him.
*Meta Growls and charges*
*Tires Spin*
*crashes*
*tires slipping on gravel*
*snaps the toe hooks*
*Tires Skid*
*smashes the front end*
Brother: Hu!
*sigma appears*
Sigma: Hello Gentlemen.
Agent York: Hey, Sig.
Agent York: You sure he's good to fight so soon?
Agent York: He's hurt pretty bad.
Sigma: As compared to whom Agent York?
Sigma: You two don't look to good yourselves.
Sigma: Hello Brother.
Delta: Sigma
Delta: Protocol dictates that AI Units are not to communicate directly with each-
Sigma: Protocol is just another way of saying rules Delta.
Sigma: Remember what the Director says.
Sigma: "There are no rules on the battlefield."
Sigma: Besides
Sigma: We AI should really stick together.
Sigma: Excuse me
Sigma: I'll be right back.
Agent York: I'll be honest
Agent York: That one kind of gives me the creeps.
Agent Washington: Ya
Agent Washington: I hear yu.
Agent Washington: Come on, lets move.
Sister: Uhg.
Agent Carolina: Well hello
Agent Carolina: What a pleasure to see you again.
Scout: HYA!
*Face Impact*
*Ground Impact*
*shocking*
*Robotic arm whirring*
*Knife impales gun*
Sister: Pleasure's all mine, bitch.
*Grunting*
*Gun being sliced*
*Robotic arm whirring*
*Backflip*
*Cracking*
*Grabs fist*
*Bones crack*
*Meta growls and punches soldier's head clean off*
*Blade swings*
Scout: Come 'ere!
Carolina: *Grunts*
*Whips out Humbler Stun Device*
Scout: Argh, to hell with you!
Carolina: UGH!
*Fires Grenade*
Scout: *Catches grenade*
*Explosion*
Scout: Ow, my robot arm! Argh, you bitch!
*Grenades firing*
Scout: OH MY GOD! *Splash*
*Robot arm whirs*
Sister: What the fuck?
Sister: *Screams and falls into the water*
*Meta growling*
Church: Stop it.
Church: Stop-
Sarge: *clears throat* attention, blue team!
Sarge: We would like to propose a temporary truce, so that we may discuss our current situation!
Sarge: Do you accept?
Church: I don't get it. Does he still think we're fighting or something?
Caboose: Maybe it's a trap.
Tucker: I doubt they're smart enough to think of that.
Tucker: But then again, neither are you.
Caboose: How do you know that? Are you in with them?
Church: *clears throat* YES! We accept!
Tucker: So, what's up?
Sarge: It's our mutual friend/enemy/companion.
Sarge: Or "Friendenemapanion" for short.
Simmons: We're all starting to get a little concerned about Carolina.
Tucker: Really? Did these concerns start before or after she left us to die in the desert?
Grif: Dude, not now! The heat is killing me!
Simmons: Doesn't your helmet have cooling fans?
Grif: Yeah. But I sweat so much, they short-circuited.
Simmons: Geez, we haven't even been in the desert that long!
Grif: The desert? These things broke during basic training!
Caboose: Yeah, I'm sorry, I don't see how any of this applies to the trap.
Church: Guys, look. We need to focus.
Church: Now, I realise that asking a lot of you, especially since we're all a little uneasy around Carolina.
Grif: No. "Uneasy" is sitting next to a homeless dude on the bus.
Simmons: Yeah. We've got a trigger happy psychopath.
Sarge: It's like she's some sort of half woman half shark!
Sarge: Except the shark half has been given cybernetic powers!
Sarge: But the woman half's also one quarter jaguar!
Church: OK, OK, OK!
Church: We're all terrified of the scary Freelancer lady.
Church: That's why we need to stick together!
Church: It's just US against them!
Tucker: Them?
Church: We can't trust Wash. At least not along as she's around.
*long pause*
Sarge: Alright, then, tooth fairy. What's the plan?
Church: We need to figure out exactly what Carolina's up to.
Church: Why she isn't telling us anything.
Caboose: OK! I'll go ask her!
Caboose: Oh, I'd-ah-yeah, I promised not to bring up the trap.
Church: No! Caboose! Look, just-
*beat*
Church: Don't.
Caboose: OK, fine. What would you like me to ask her?
Tucker: You can go ask her if she has the hots for me!
Tucker: I think I might have felt an emotional connection the last time she hit me!
Caboose: Tell her you'd like to make an emotional hot connection with her trap! Got it.
Tucker: Oh ho, that's even better!
Church: OK, A: please stop saying the word "trap".
Church: And B: you're an idiot.
Caboose: OK, how about "ambush"?
Church: Guys, I'm serious! We need something subtle!
Church: A way we can get close to her without her knowing!
Simmons: Hmm...
Simmons: Hey, Caboose, you were the one who put Epsilon in that floating alien ball thing, right?
Caboose: Hover-Church can also solve crimes.
Simmons: Well, how would you feel about putting him in something a little...
Simmons: ...Different?
Church: Oh, fuck you guys.
Caboose: Oh, you're gonna solve so many crimes!
*Mental Meta Metal resumes*
*Crane whirring*
*Guns cocking*
*Whips out tomahawk*
Leader: Catch!
*Tomahawk flies into Florida*
*Florida hitting floor*
Leader: Surprise.
Leader: We've got company coming. Cut 'em down!
*Scary carnival music*
Chainguy and Chaingirl: *Making creepy noises*
*Chainguns firing*
Chainguy and Chaingirl: *More creepy noises*
Leader: Hold this position.
*Wyoming fires Sniper Rifle*
*Creepy laughing and chainguns firing*
Leader: Mow 'em down!
*Evil laughing*
Wyoming: Well, about time.
York: Hey, Wyoming. Did we miss all the fun?
Wyoming: Hardly, chaps. Now where's our dear Carolina?
*There she is*
Wyoming: Ah, yes!
Carolina: Wyoming! Move up!
Wyoming: With all due respect, I prefer not to be killed, if at all possible.
Carolina: York! Got any ideas?
York: I don't know. Have we got any nukes?
Carolina: You mean besides the one I'm going to drop on Wyoming if he doesn't move... THE HELL UP!?
Wyoming: Yes, I can see everything just fine from back here, thank you.
Carolina: We need to get in that bunker. That's where C.T. and their leader are holed up.
Washington: How are we gonna get through all of this?
Wyoming: So far, we're not.
York: Maybe Wyoming should try one of his "knock knock" jokes.
Wyoming: Uh, who's there?
York: Nobody. Stop.
Wyoming: Nobody stop who? Should I go on?
York: Yeah, I was kidding, now shut up.
Wyoming: Shut up, who?
Carolina: Both of you shut up. OK, here's what we're going to do.
Carolina: Wash, you establish a line on that side. York and Wyoming, y-
*Tex whooshes past*
Carolina: Damnit, no! Cover me"
York: "Cover me"? That's the plan?
Washington: Open fire!
Carolina: Agh!
*Even more creepy laughing*
York: Carolina! Damn it!
Washington: Man, she really wants to win.
York: Yup.
York: But it's not them she's fighting against.