I think I finally found my purpose in life.
My name is Anthony,
and I'm still addicted to elotes.
I'm so grateful
to have elotes in my life, and I wouldn't have it any other way.
And that's why I always start my day off,
the only way I know...
A great poet once said breakfast
is the most important meal of the day, serving it up Gary's way.
And I agree with him, but I also think it's equally as important to eat elotes.
And so this is what a typical breakfast for me looks like.
I have Froot Loops elotes, Lucky Charms elotes. Cheerios elotes,
and probably my favorite one,
a chorizo elote!
Oh, that smells good.
Now this is what you call a balanced breakfast.
When I first started my addiction, a lot of people thought I was weird
and that I wouldn't be able to find a wife or start a family.
And yeah, they were right...
I am weird, but joke's on them.
I was able to start a family, a giant one at that.
I never thought I would have a family, this young.
But honestly, I'm glad I did, because they're the best thing
that ever happened to me.
Over here, I have the teenagers, Michael and Jessica.
And right here I have my beautiful wife, Patricia.
She's quite easy on the eyes.
And lastly, we have little baby Junior.
I know what you're thinking.
Why does he look different than the rest of the family?
And well, that's because one time we went to a pumpkin patch
and Patricia spent a little too much time in the corn maze.
But we're past that, and the most important thing is that
I take care of him like my own, even though sometimes I don't want to...
What? I'm just being honest.
Why are you getting mad with me?
You're the one that spent too much time in the corn maze.
Throughout the years.
I've developed a relationship with my local elotero,
and like any other relationship, it has its ups and downs,
but I've always made sure to treat him right.
So, Carlos, I know you said not to spoil you, but I got you a little gift.
Oh, Anthony, is this the Air Horn 3000?
It's not even in stores yet!
It's just a little token of my appreciation.
But is there anything I could get you for right now, like food, drinks or anything, really?
Oh, well, I do
like grapes, seedless grapes.
OK. Yeah, I'll get you some grapes.
OK, thank you.
Now this is the life I've always deserved.
I've been living with Anthony for about a year now.
He told me to move in with him so he could have more access to elotes.
And I said, Why not?
Let's try it out, and it's been the greatest decision of my life.
Hey, Carlos.
It's lunchtime now.
Do you think you can make me an elote?
Oh mijo, I got something better for you.
Four elotes!
You know me so well.
Extra butter like you like.
He treats me good.
He gives me massages, he feeds me.
And most importantly, he treats me like a man.
That's something my wife would never do.
So if I had to choose between my wife and Anthony
1,000%, I'm choosing Anthony.
Gloria, if you're watching this...
Keep the stuff.
I'm happy.
Two dollars.
Enjoy!
Carlos.
What are you doing?
It's not what it looks like.
Are you selling an elote to somebody else?
It's just business.
Nothing else.
You promised me you wouldn't sell to anybody else.
You promised me I would be your last customer.
Anthony, times are tough.
I need the money.
Save it, save it for somebody that cares.
-We're done. -No
We're done.
Anthony, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
Anthony, NO!
WHY?!
When I first laid my eyes on elotes,
I thought they were the most beautiful things I've ever laid my eyes on.
And it's funny because
years later,
I still think they're the most beautiful things I've ever laid my eyes on.
You know how some people collect Pokémon cards, others baseball cards?
Well, I actually collect used elotes,
but not just from anybody, from celebrities.
This is my collection so far.
This one is actually from The Rock himself.
I got it off a dude on OfferUp.
Oh, well, he gave me a certificate.
I would have bought it otherwise.
Yeah, I've been collecting elotes for about a year now,
and so far I have one from Queen Elizabeth,
this one is Ellen DeGeneres,
And this last one, this last one is one of my favorites
It's from Drake.
Rumor has it that he actually ate this one during the making of Hotline Bling.
But that's just a rumor.
It still smells like him, though
Still tastes like him, too.
One time
this weird guy came up to me and said, Would you trade your mom for 10 elotes?
And I told him, God, no, I would never...m
Maybe eleven elotes...
And well...
that day I had eleven elotes.
Baby, I'm so sorry,
I didn't mean to yell at you. It was an accident.
I just got caught up in the moment.
Don't forget our song.
Remember our song.
You are so beautiful
to me...
Baby, I'm so sorry.
I love you.
I really do. I promise that won't happen again.
To me elotes represent
everything right in this world.
I mean, they're just beautiful.
Delicious.
And I honestly believe this is the answer to world peace
Without elotes...
This world is nothing.
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