♪ I'm in the money I'm in the money ♪
- Howdy y'all! - I hear you.
Welcome to Howdy, where celebrities record personal messages for money.
Alright, just go, just go. I hate this part. Can you go?
Go, come on, let's go. I really need to get this done, let's go.
Hey, Tiffany!
What's zappenin'? I heard you're getting your tonsils outie like a belly button.
I just wanted to say you're as cool as those ice chips
you're gonna be eating for a while, so Tiffany, stay sparky.
Uh, whatcha doin' there, Sparky?
- Nothing. - Huh.
So you skipped out on apple picking for nothing?
- Yep. - You promised me you'd be there.
- I know. - But you weren't there.
I know.
A promise is something that one can never break.
Bones, sure.
Hearts, daily.
Teeth, I think we all know the answer to that one.
But promises? Never.
Well, maybe she can come with us next--
Anybody else could have skipped, I would have been fine with it!
- Wow! - That's offensive.
Mika? She made it an apple picking competition.
Which I won, not that it matters.
It matters.
Miles?
Miles just wandered around waiting for the apples to pick him.
My life's about the journey, not the result.
Yeah, well your journey resulted in zero apples.
False.
And Bose? Actually, sweet Bose and I had some really good talks.
Your grandma loves you, she just doesn't know how to say it.
But God dang it, Chapa! You're my second favorite!
So I'm your favorite?
Oh, no, no. My favorite's me.
Now, if you'll excuse me.
I'm gonna go take a bath,
eat some apples and pen a handwritten letter to my grandmother.
- No! - Who does that?
- What? - That's your first bite of an apple?
Of course. Stem first, butt second.
Oh my God!
This is how everybody eats apples!
Top, bottom, then the core. After that, you want some more.
Who is teaching you kids?
- You are! - No one.
You know what? Normally, I would want to stick around and chat.
But you know, today,
today I don't.
Today I don't.
- So what were you doing-- - Today I don't!
Just take your bath, Ray.
What the actual drip?
Yeah, what's going on?
Why are you so rich right now?
You look like a million dollars threw up on you.
What are you guys talking about?
- These shoes? - Dang!
- These pants? - Dope!
- This jacket? - Sweat.
Seriously, where'd you get the money for this look?
- Yeah, spill it. - Oh, I wanna be rich.
OK, I'll tell you but I don't want you to be weird about it.
We won't be.
- No judgement. - I can't judge.
Never learned how.
I've been making videos for people on Howdy.
- Ew! - I judge you!
What's so bad about Howdy?
People pay me money to brighten someone's day.
We don't charge people to send theme good vibes.
We're superheroes.
And we're a team, so when
you do stuff just for money, it makes us all look bad.
I see what this is about.
You all are jelly.
Jelly of this drip.
The only jelly I am is the apply jelly I'm going home to make right now.
Savage.
Wait, I thought we were making apple cider.
We are, but I'm not cider of her drip, so jelly works better.
I need you to say we've talked about this.
Howdy y'all!
Sorry, peasants.
I'm about to get paid in the shade drinking lemonade to...
cheer up little Scottie 'cause his dog died.
Oh...
- Can I have the room, please? - Can I have the room, please? Yeah.
You're a peasant.
Not cool. You're not even that popular.
Today I don't.
Oh my God! Stop!
[screaming]
What?
Middle bite with the peel, grow as tall as Shaq O'Neil.
Sometimes I think you guys were just raised by wolves!
I'm not-- I'm not doing it. I'm not.
You ever see me doing a Howdy video,
you kick me in the zipper, 'cause that's an imposter.
You ever see me doing a Howdy video, shave my head.
But Miles, your hair is--
30% of my personality and 50% of my body weight, yes.
You know, when we sell this cider, we'll make 5, maybe 10 bucks.
It ain't much, but it's honest work.
It might not be quick money, but it's clean money.
Amen.
Hey, kids.
What's up, Moms, Pops.
Your dad and I would like to have a very important and very
personal discussion with you.
But we're scared.
Yeah, so we paid a local celebrity on Howdy to have
the talk with you instead.
- Wait, what talk? - Just watch the video.
La-la-la-la! La-la-la-la-la!
Hello, Angela and Herman's kids.
It's Brainstorm from Danger Force, here to give you the talk.
You see, when a man and a woman love each other very much...
Ah! Stop! Stop!