today I want to talk to you about how to
tell a loved one or a parent that we're
struggling
so like I said today I want to talk to
you about how to tell someone that we're
struggling now this could be anything
from self-harm to eating disorders to
depression anxiety whatever it is we're
struggling with oftentimes because we
can be embarrassed or we can feel
shameful about what we're struggling
with we fear that telling people about
it won't be good and the responses won't
be what we're hoping for and they may
not want to get us help or we don't know
right but the thing that I find to be
the worst is the longer we think about
it without doing anything the worse we
make it in our heads because we just
like spin it and spin it spin it and
think oh my gosh and then they're gonna
kick me out and it's gonna be wow it is
not as bad as you're making it up to be
in your head I promise you now will
every parent and every loved one respond
just like we want them to know but I
promise you that if you follow a few of
the steps that I'm gonna walk you
through today you can have a successful
experience with sharing your struggle
with someone you care about okay so the
first thing I want you to do and I know
you're gonna hate me but I'm gonna want
you to journal about it even if you
don't like to journal this is the one
time that I'm going to ask for you to
either open up that word document or get
into your notes or type something on
your phone in your notes or write it
down an actual journal old-school like I
do and I want you to write out it
doesn't to be fully like I would say but
it can just be bullet points it can be
thoughts it can be phrases you don't
want to forget or things you make sure
you don't want to leave out but I want
you to write out what it is you want to
tell them and then so you've written out
what you want to tell them that I want
you to write what you want them to hear
one of the important points that you
really really need them to hear is it
that you're what you're struggling with
do you want them to know that your
depression is getting really bad and
sometimes you think about killing
yourself is it your self-harm do you
really want them to understand that
fully what is it is your eating disorder
what is it you want them to hear
and also maybe it's I really just need
your help maybe it's not even them
knowing what you're struggling with I
just need your support I need to know
you love me anyways whatever it is what
do you really want them to hear and I
want you to take
time with this because this is the most
important step of all the steps of this
because we need to figure out what's
important for us because that's the
whole reason we're telling them right
usually we want to tell people because
we we want something from them we want
understanding we want support we
whatever whatever it may be okay so once
you've done that then you're gonna feel
silly but number two is I want you to
roleplay it with yourself wait till no
one's at home maybe it's late at night
maybe it's really early in the morning
maybe it's in your car on your way to
work or school or whatever I want you to
roleplay it how would you say it put it
into words what do you think they're
gonna say back what if it isn't the
exact response you want what if they're
like really oh so many people are
depressed I don't know why you're
talking about it or whatever you think
they're responsibly roleplay it out
because the thing that I find my
patience to have this toughest time with
is when they get an adverse response and
they take it really personally in that
moment and they lose their head they
forget what they wanted to say they
forget how they were going to wrap it up
and it ends up being a really bad
experience so role-playing it out gives
us a chance to kind of think about how
we would respond to a bad response from
them what would we do how would we work
out of that how would we stop the
conversation if we don't think it's
going to be beneficial any more I want
you to roleplay this out okay because
that gives us the best it's just the
best preparation for this experience
okay and then the final step number
three I want you to pick a time in a day
when you know it will be good for you
and you can talk to them now that being
said I find it to be best that we do it
when it's not during a stressful time so
I've had a really shitty day maybe you
should put it off until the next week or
the next time that good day rolls around
I would encourage you to not do it to
more than you know two maybe three
people at a time if it's your family you
want to tell your family do you just
your immediate family or something so
that it's not so overwhelming you do
have a bunch of questions all at once
and make sure you feel good make sure
you feel
prepared because going in not knowing
what we want to say or what we want them
to hear what we're hoping to get out of
it or any of the things that we probably
realized through journaling and
role-playing then we can get lost in the
argument and it can not be so good okay
now I know that I'm oversimplifying this
and I know it's really stressful but
trust me being honest and open and
sharing with them how you're feeling
what you're going through and what you
need from them will always get you where
you need to go whether it's that help
that you need whether it's the support
that you're hoping to get from them or a
ride to see a therapist or insurance so
that you can you know get your parents
insurance card and get go to see someone
whatever it may be talking to people
gets us there okay because we can't do
this alone nobody likes to be an island
right we want to be connected to one
another and that's what this whole
things about right all everything I'm
doing if you haven't been on
katimorton.com you should hop on there
because we have a whole community of
people growing and talking to one
another if you haven't subscribed to my
channel make sure you do because there's
new topics all the time in like this
video if you want more topics around
this kind of discussion where we talk
about talking to other people and how
their responses are and how we deal with
it okay
and keep working with me and keep
checking back as we work towards a
healthy mind and a healthy body