The movie starts out overseas and this one guy is minding his own business.
He’s approached by a pretty blonde and she gets him to look at a cell phone picture and
boom, his life is basically over.
In order to get some payback on the blonde bombshell, the characters have to get the
band back together.
By band, I mean special task force that the government sends to handle terrorist issues
when the job is too dirty for the US Government and the missions are almost alway unsanctioned
so if they get caught, they’re on their own (audio).
The team consists of the fearless leader who’s also probably the worst husband since Mister
Albert in the Color Purple.
He abandons his wife and tries to pop back into her life with a hey big head text like
it’s all good.
The team also includes the pretty light skinned lady, the hacker and the comic relief.
An example of how skilled the group is is shown during the German prison scene.
Don’t mind if I do.
One of the good guys is locked up for a crime he didn’t commit.
A prison riot happens and the good guy is knocking out cops and convicts left and right.
The riot’s just a diversion and two characters manage to break out while everyone else is
beating each other to death.
The free man joins the rest of the team for a briefing.
They learn the blonde woman is behind all this chaos.
The woman in the grey and white photo is a terrorist and the team has to take her down
or more lives could be lost than all the combined total of all the people killed in every Rolan
Emmerich movie ever made.
Unfortunately, the woman on the team isn’t thinking straight and wants revenge for what
the blonde lady did to her husband so her emotions could possibly jeopardize the mission.
The members are informed by a superior and his annoying younger side kick that after
the mission on foreign soil, all of the members are on the international most wanted list.
That’s the reason they’re put in handcuffs.
They then have to spend most of the movie searching for the evidence that proves their
innocence.
The annoying side kick joins task force to help locate the blonde terrorist.
The annoying associate is a pain in the a word and is always slowing things down because
he doesn’t allow the task force to to violate any rules during the mission.
After the team finds out the bad guy is after a suitcase full of Russian nuclear bomb information,
the annoying guy finally violates his code of ethics and agrees to break the rules.
In the wrong hands, the suitcase poses a serious threat.
A battle over the box begins and it shows you how desperate the bad guys are to get
their hands on a nuclear missile.
Cars without drivers are moving on their own aiming for the owner of the briefcase and
instead of just handing it over, they hold on tight until the last minute.
Nuclear devices are no joke so in order to stop the villain, the hero gets some help.
There was this one dude in the beginning of the film who owed him a favor and he calls
him to collect his dues.
Then, he makes a deal with this shady character who helps the hero locate and take control
of a private plane.
The good guys move slower than the DMV employees on Zootopia and the bad guy’s plan is set
in motion.
The villain hijacks a submarine and activates a nuclear missile, but right before it’s
about to go off, the good guy deactivates it with just seconds left on the clock.
To celebrate, the team gets together for a couple of drinks at the end.
Which proves that they must be drunk because when the leader apologizes for keeping secrets
from the team, they all forgive him way too easily.
Those are 24 reasons these movies are the same.
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