By the end of this video, you're going to have
10 signs you're actually being used by someone that's close to you.
Hey there, I'm Rebecca Zung,
I'm an attorney, I'm a narcissist negotiation expert and
on this channel, and in these videos,
I give you tips, tricks, and resources
on how to spot a narcissist, negotiate with narcissists, communicate with narcissists,
in a way that makes you feel like you are the most powerful one,
or a change so that you can set yourself up
to be the most honored, powerful, valued person,
the one that no one can ever touch again and
if that sounds good to you,
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Let's talk about the signs you're actually being used by someone.
Someone who may or may not be a narcissist,
maybe they just have narcissistic tendencies, maybe traits, who knows?
I mean, I've been there, not by husband,
or whatever but definitely in a business situation and
definitely by a particular family member who shall remain unnamed and
had to actually draw very specific boundaries too unfortunately.
It's very sad actually, very sad, very sad,
when you've had situations like that.
I mean, it's not what you want
but it is something that you have to deal with sometimes and
it is painful, It's very painful,
so, what happens is you're a good person and
you're trying to be a caring person and
you think that you're a generous person and
then people take advantage of that,
that's what happens with me and
you think that the people are going to appreciate
your kindness, your generosity, and your goodness and
they don't necessarily end up appreciating that.
So, I just want to say, like, you want to make sure that
if you are the type of person who are kind and generous and good,
just make sure that you only allow people in your world who deserve that,
I have a good friend who says no icky people under the tent,
defend your light with your life.
Only allow people who are going to be
throwing logs on your fire, not dousing it with water.
So, what are signs that you're being used by someone?
They talk about themselves, they don’t want to talk about you,
they tell you all about their stuff all the time and
then you go to talk about you and they're not interested.
They're super nice when they do, but they're not so great otherwise,
they’re like really nice,
they're not asking for something from you,
they're not so great otherwise, so that's number two.
Listen to your gut.
I had this when I was dealing with
the narcissistic person in a business situation.
I knew right from the beginning that something wasn't good.
I didn't listen to it.
I have a friend who says that
sometimes you take those red flags and you turn them pink
like, you just see them but you don't listen to them and
you start defending,
“Well, they have a bad situation”,
“Something's going on with their personal life”,
“They apologized”.
Your spidey sense is telling you something's off,
but you don't listen.
You tell them, “Don't sit on that”,
you tell them “Don't touch that”,
You tell them don't show up at this time.
Don't call me at this time. Don't talk to those people.
They're not respecting your boundaries.
Don't ask me about that. They're not respecting that.
like you have to defend yourself all the time
and by the way, don't defend yourself.
I have a whole video on that.
When you defend yourself
you make yourself look like a victim and that's not good.
You don't, you don't want to do that.
Just check out that video.
They will always want you to rescue them.
They don't say thank you for it
and if you agree so far,
give me an amen in the comments,
Say, Amen.
Like totally right.
you start feeling resentful.
I mean, I know for me.
When I was dealing with a covert narcissistic person in business.
I started feeling resentful
because I was doing basically everything
and then this other person was taking credit for it to the world.
It looked like maybe it was like a 50/50 type of a thing,
but I was basically doing everything.
I really started feeling resentful about that.
So if you're starting to feel resentful is probably not a good situation,
you know, you don’t want where you're just like in putting
and putting in putting in you're not feeling either appreciated
or valued but they're kind of guilting you into doing things all
the time where you feel like you can't say no
They're saying that they're going to do things and then they don't do them.
They don't do them on time.
They don't show up on time.
That's an Integrity issue.
I mean if they lack Integrity, it’s not good without Integrity,
nothing works.
It's at least for me.
I like have to have integrity with myself all the time.
Like if I tell myself I'm going to do something by a certain time.
I just I really try to make sure I have it done.
Maybe if I say I'm going to do something on a certain day.
I try to make sure I have it done like for my own self.
So if I promised somebody,
I'm going to have omething done by a certain time.
I really try to say I'm going to have it done by that day
and then, even if I can't have it done by that day,
I least send them an email saying.
Oh, I know I said I was going to have this done today but this is what happens
so I'll have a 2 to my tomorrow.
So when people are constantly breaking promises,
you know, they just don't have it done
or they say they are going to meet you or they start going to show up
but then something better comes along or they just blow you off or whatever,
not a good situation so that means that they're probably using you
and again you have to have a certain amount of self-respect and confidence in yourself.
It's all about you defending your light for yourself.
You know you’re value and especially in negotiations.
So powerful. So important.
So start by grabbing my free
Crush my negotiation prep worksheet
at winmynegotiation.com
So much value in there.
It's a free ebook.
Grab that now.
All right, winmynegotiation.com and come join
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Okay.
I'm Rebecca Zung.
Remember today's a great day to start negotiating your best life
and I will definitely see you in the next video.
I am so glad you are here.
Today's the day it all changes.
I'll see you in the next video.