(sad, poignant music playing)
- Thy lips are warm.
(knocking on door)
Yay, a noise.
Then, I'll be brief.
Oh, happy dagger,
this is thy sheath.
(door clicks open)
- Hi, I'm sorry.
I don't mean to interrupt.
- Um,
- [Nancy] I just have a quick question.
But, no, no, no, it's fine.
You finish what you were doing first,
and then I'll ask after.
- [Juliet] Well, no, um, uh...
What, what is your question?
- [Nancy] Oh, it's nothing, you know,
I was just looking for someone.
Do you know of, um, of a Romeo?
- Yes.
This is him.
- That's him?
- Yes.
- [Nancy] Oh my God! Is he okay?
- No,
he's dead.
- You're kidding!
- I'm not.
(Nancy gasping)
- Oh my god.
Typical. He owes me 20 bucks,
but oh my God, Romeo!
(loud, shocked gasping)
This is so sad.
- Who are you?
- Oh, I'm Nancy,
but all my friends call me Nance,
and you?
- Juliet
- [Nancy] Juliet. Oh,
that is a really beautiful name.
I'm going to remember that, Juliet.
What is that, like, French?
- I don't, I don't know.
- [Nancy] You know what, it's so funny that he's dead
because he calls me, and tells me to be here at 4,
and not to be late.
- [Juliet] Why did he ask you?
- Oh, we're going on a date later.
He's taking me out for drinks. I always say,
"Romeo, you never take me out for drinks.
I wanna go out for drinks."
And then, one night, he's gonna take me out for drinks,
this happens.
- [Juliet] You 2 were dating.
- [Nancy] Yeah, you?
- Yeah, we were.
- [Nancy] Typical. Once a Montague, always a Montague.
That's what my mother always says.
She told me. she warned me.
- I don't understand. We were in love.
- [Nancy] Oh, trust me, honey, we all are.
- [Juliet] How was he dating you at the same time?
- [Nancy] Well, ugh, it's kind of a long story,
but it all started, um, we were at a party
and he starts, you know, these men,
they're so, ugh, they're so charming with their words,
but he starts yelling at me from down below,
so, I gotta go on this balcony thingy, right?
And he's saying all these things about the moon and my skin
and you know, it was really romantic at first for sure.
What about you guys?
- Um,
the, the balcony thing, the same.
- [Nancy] He did not!
- Yeah.
- [Nancy] Wow. Can these, oh my God. Where do I even begin?
Can these men not have one original thought?
- [Juliet] Right.
- [Nancy] You know, I got a friend named Charlise.
She said her boyfriend did the balcony thing.
These men!
- Right?
(Nancy sighing)
Anyway, so, what are you doing here?
- Um,
well,
I was, um,
I was
gonna kill myself
for him.
- I'm sorry, what?
- [Juliet] Well, because he, um, did it for me,
so I was gonna do it for him.
- [Nancy] Oh sweetie.
The dick's not that good.
- Were you sleeping with him?
- [Nancy] Oh, come on, honey,
everybody and their mom was sleeping with him.
You had to know that going in. What are you, like, 15?
- I'm 13.
- [Nancy] 13?
Sweetie, you didn't give it up to him, did you?
- We were married.
- [Nancy] Oh my God. It's not even a real priest.
Juliet, Juliet, Juliet, sweetheart.
It's just his friend Charlie.
He does this all the time.
Oh, you are so lucky I got here when I did.
Holy cow.
You know what? You're coming with me.
The reservations for 2?
We're gonna get a couple of margaritas.
We're going to drown our sorrows.
- Okay. Uh, yeah, that sounds good.
- Not literally, of course.
I don't wanna pull an Ophelia if you know what I mean.
- Right.
(timid, comedic music quietly playing)
- [Nancy] Well, good morning, Sleeping Beauty.
How was your nap?
Men.
- [Juliet] You were alive the whole time?
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(classical music playing)