- I'd been really good friends
with this girl for a long time,.
We labored together, you know,
gone to the house of God together, like labored together.
And then there was this, just this falling away.
And it was heartbreaking for me.
- Yeah.
- And I just, I just thought at the point
I had this choice to make.
I could let that relationship go there
and no longer talk to them.
Or I could do something about it.
And so I let a little bit of time go by,
and then I called and said, "Can we have coffee?"
And that was a risk cause I just thought,
she might cuss at me.
- Yeah. - Right, reject you.
- She might reject me, she may not want to.
And so I thought okay because in the
bible when it talks about,
in Matthew 18 when it talks about
resolving conflict it's like going to the face.
- That's right. - Right.
- Right it's not sending a text, it's their face.
- But they didn't have text back then,
so I think it could be modified with texts now.
- Well it would start it.
- I do like face to face if it's possible.
- If it's possible, and this was possible.
- I'm just playing.
- I know you're messing with me, punk.
- Speaking of conflict.
- We'll talk later. - We'll talk later.
- So I had sat down with her,
and at first I just didn't even know what to say.
Right because the awkward, the tension.
I just went okay, um, can I just say I'm really sorry?
I don't know how we got here, but I'm really sorry.
- Yeah.
- And all of the sudden something broke,
and then she goes, "I'm really sorry too!"
And then we could actually talk about the issue.
- Yeah.
- But I just thought even
by starting by saying, "I'm sorry."
and I don't know how wrong I had done,
I'm sure there'd been done something
cause I'm a flawed person.
But it became a real conversation.
- Yeah.
- So that was one time,
and so then that has been fully reconciled.
And restored, and it's awesome.
And then there was another conversation I had,
and kinda did the same thing.
And this person wasn't willing to own
any of their responsibility.
It was more I'm sorry you feel that way.
- Oh.
- Right and so then I went, okay.
When someone just isn't willing to own any of it,
so with that one I am kind and I see them.
But it's not the close to your heart anymore.
And there's a sadness in that,
and it took, I had to grieve that a little bit.
Because I can't have a real conversation with you.
- Right.
- Then how are we, we're not gonna get there, right?
- I think what you started with is so profound.
That the risk of being rejected or misunderstood,
is always worth the potential miracle of reconciliation.
Because the first friend who is able to be mature
and go you're worth more than
this little awkwardness we're going through.
Or even pain we're walking through.
You're worth that.
That will always, to me, give us the reason to hope
for the possibility of reconciliation.
Because you did what you could do.
And if you come in, I do think it helps,
when we own specifics.
- Right, yes.
- Cause there has been times where somebody says,
"If I've hurt you."
And I wanna just go, that's not real.
- Right. - That's not a real apology.
And you know how you hurt me, so I've tried,
it's taken a lot of counseling.
But I try now in those conversations to go,
I know at least two or three things where I've wounded you.
Or disrespected you, here's what I've done,
please forgive me.
And then you just let it,
cause basically you are presenting them with a gift.
They can choose to open it or not.
And then that's where you go,
we can go deeper or I know you're a lifer,
or I'm not gonna cry over the fact
that all of our relationship was a lie.
Because it may have been you had a great relationship,
friendship with her for a season.
And now for possibly her lack of maturity,
or just life, she's not running the race with you now.
But that doesn't mean all that was for not.
- Hi everybody, I hope you've enjoyed this video.
There's a whole lot more,
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