- Hello, straight people, so we're gonna have a little chat.
It's necessary, it's needed.
(upbeat music)
- Hi, I'm Hanifah.
I identify as queer.
- Hi, I'm Tom, I'm 25, I identify as gay.
- Hi, I'm Ayesha, I identify as a queer woman.
- Hi, I'm Sam.
I am gay, a gay man and also gender queer, gender fluid.
- So I've noticed a few things.
Obviously, I'm around a lot of straight people.
I talk to a lot of straight people in my day-to-day life
and these are just a few little things
that I've picked up on and noticed.
- Now, I say all of these things out of love.
I say these things because I would like
you to stop doing them.
- And I just, I think it's time we addressed them, really.
- Staring at us when we're holding hands.
It took me a really long time to come to terms
with the fact that, like, holding hands
or showing affection in public is a political statement.
- If I am walking along on the street
and holding hands with a man,
just please don't stare at me.
We see you, we know you're doing it,
we know you're staring at us.
Just let us hold hands and it not be a thing.
- Okay, couples, if your relationship is stale,
I can promise you almost exclusively
that no lesbian wants to join you for a threesome.
Like, yeah, that's maybe what you want,
but I'm pretty sure that's not what the women want,
so, come on, just spice up your relationship
some other way.
- Stop making a joint profile for yourself
and then trolling queer women's dating profiles
asking them if they want a threesome.
I don't know where this came from
or why it seems to be a thing
that you think that we want to do.
Please stop doing it.
- Like, that's not the way to do it.
Nobody wants that, it's annoying, go away.
- Asking really personal sexual questions
as if it's not wildly inappropriate.
Like, I've had a situation where one
of the first things that a person said to me is,
"Are you a top or a bottom?" and I'm like,
uh, I don't know, how'd you like
to get pounded out on the weekend, Glenda?
- If you meet me and or my boyfriend,
there's no need to ask who's the tunnel
and who's the train, just FYI,
'cause it's like super crass. (laughing)
- I will get a whole load of, like,
probing questions about me and it will be like,
"Oh, how did your parents react?"
- "Wow, you?
"Like, you and your family, how did they deal with that?"
Like I frickin' committed a crime or something.
Like, I didn't rob a bank, I'm just living life.
- It's just A, very personal.
Like, imagine if they do have a bad reaction,
then why on earth would I want to tell you,
a stranger I just met?
B, it's really offensive that you assume
that they are just going to have
this terrible reaction to it.
You don't know my life, you've literally just met me.
- As a gay man, I'm not actually attracted to all men.
That's just not the case.
Not all men are attractive to me, a gay man.
- The whole, "I know you're gay,
"so don't try it on with me," and I'm like,
you're safe, buddy, honestly, no,
no concern of that happening.
- Sometimes when I meet straight women is
that they will then assume that I'm almost like
willing to experiment with them
or like want to try something with them
and that I must be interested because I'm queer
so therefore I must fancy them.
- I went to a friend's birthday party
and then this girl found out that I wasn't straight
and then she was just like on it
and it's like, just because I'm not straight
doesn't mean I fancy most, like, 90% of the time,
I do not fancy you.
- Another really weird one is when people will say
something like, "You're the funniest gay guy I know."
And it's like, I know your life.
I'm the funniest person you know, full stop.
Like, it's this really weird way
of, like, watering down a compliment
by reminding you that they see you like in a box.
- A lot of people have an image in their head
of what a queer person is, so I think people need
to get their head around that there's no, like,
one way to not be straight.
Like, there's people that only ever wear pink and dresses
and they're gay as hell, you know?
There's guys that love football.
Gay.
You know, open your mind up a little bit.
People have different interests.
- A lot of women tend to ask me about their outfits
and their fashion and I'm like,
how would I know anything about that?
- There's a weird one where people assume
gay people are well dressed just because they're gay.
If you go to a gay club and have, like, a survey
and look around, you'll immediately realize
that that definitely is not true.
Having said this, there are some stereotypes that are true.
- I feel like a lot of straight people memes
about relationships are really mean.
Like a lot of queer people memes are so wholesome and cute.
It's like, it's just memes which are like really silly
and not very funny, but they're adorable.
It's just like, "I love my girlfriend,"
and stuff like that, which is adorable.
And then, I just often see really weird
straight people memes that are like,
it seems like you hate each other
and I guess that's the joke.
It's like, ugh, this one again.
But it's like, I don't know, maybe,
maybe try some cute memes too.
- To guys, why do you act like spending time
with your girlfriend is a prison sentence?
If you don't wanna date them, don't date them.
"Got to spend time with the missus today."
"The old ball and chain wants to hang out."
Like, you chose that lifestyle.
That is your ball and chain, like, deal with it, enjoy it.
- Gender reveal parties.
I'm just gonna leave that one there.
- If you're straight and you wanna go to Pride,
Gay Pride, Trans Pride, whatever,
go, don't go, not a big deal.
What is troubling is when you get straight people
being like, "Oh, do I belong there?
"Should I go?"
It's just like, I don't care.
It's not about you.
Just, it's not, it's just not about you,
so, at the end of the day, no one cares.
- When straight people are in queer spaces,
including Pride, sometimes you're just like
a little bit too present.
The support is great, but also remember
that you're a guest, you know?
You don't need to be the loudest person in the room.
Just be for support.
Don't be the overwhelming majority.
- You shouldn't be there at the expense of queer people,
gay people and you're a guest, like, that's the tea.
- This is not on the view, sure,
but I have seen people put ally in the acronym.
Ally does not belong in the acronym.
Allies are not an oppressed group.
The A can stand for asexual, but not ally.
Ally is like you support us, but you're not,
like, you're not the people who area oppressed,
you're not the people in the community,
you are supporters of the community,
so just keep that in mind.
- One of my favorite ones is when straight artists
will cover a song by an artist of a different gender
and change the pronouns so that it doesn't sound gay.
- When people find out that you're not straight
and they're like, "Do you know what?
"I've always felt like I was a bit,
"I was a bit not straight.
"I think I might be gay.
"I always had this feeling.
"So what did you do?"
And it's like, I'm not a counselor, man. (laughing)
Like, that's your business, we're not friends like that.
- I don't really wanna figure that out with you.
I can send you some links to some resources.
- But, do you know what, like,
my life isn't a teaching moment.
Do you know?
- Straight boys don't care about their underwear
and that makes me sad for their girlfriends.
- Also, a lot of people are like,
"Wow, the people around you are so accepting,
"they're so good."
And it's like, nah, they're just not bigots.
- Straight people think cocktails are girly.
They're not, they just taste better.
- So, often me and my boyfriend will be
called, like, a cute couple, which is super, super nice.
When you're around queer people, the best thing to do
is to kinda just be normal about everything
because, like, being extra, it feels false.
You don't have to give queer people special treatment
because they've come out of their house
as a couple and that's so brave, like.
- So I don't get this one very often,
for obvious reasons, but when people say something
along the lines of, "Oh my god,
"I never would have known you were gay,"
as if it's some kind of compliment,
like, the subtext being that being straight-acting
is better or that our behavior's like,
based around pleasing or, like, deceiving you.
- A lot of TV writers are obviously straight
because they have the one token gay character
who's like, "Yas!" and they come on,
be gay, and then just leave.
We want developed storylines.
It's like, (poignant music)
"Oh my gosh, I'm a character.
"I'm queer.
"How does the world see me?
"How will I face the day, me, a gay?"
(brakes screeching) (upbeat music)
Like, you know, it's not always that deep.
Like, it's not everyday Stonewall, like,
you can just live a regular life.
Also, they only ever seem to have straight friends,
which just isn't how the world works.
You mix with people who you have things in common with.
- I often get a lot of questions about trans issues,
being trans, the experience of being trans,
but I'm not trans, so just remember
that the LGBTQ community is not just one homogenous thing.
It's lots of different identities
and you can ask a gay person their perspective
on trans issues, but you're not asking a trans person
when you do that, so, you know,
don't expect the most authentic, well-rounded answer
because that's not their experience
just as much as it's not yours.
- Another thing to stop doing is assuming
people's sexuality when you first meet them.
I think just being asked, like,
"Oh, what's your boyfriend do?" or like,
"What's your boyfriend's name?"
It always then has that awkward moment
where you then have to correct them.
I mean, it's not a big deal, obviously.
It could be way worse, but I'm just saying,
like, it doesn't have to be that awkwardness
because then there's the weird, like,
"Oh, I'm so sorry, I didn't know,"
and it's like this awkward moment
and it's like we could have just saved
and avoided all of that by just asking
a bit of a different question in the first place.
- When you meet people, don't assume that they're straight.
Just because that's your default,
that's not the default for the world.
There are so many different sexualities,
so many different genders, and not everybody
is the same as you, so it's not like shock horror
when you find out that they're not straight.
- In the LGBTQ community, you're always coming out,
like all the time, whenever you meet a new person.
So, you know, if you meet someone
and you don't know anything about them,
just don't assume they're straight
because they might not be.
- It's a really simple thing to do
and it makes a world of difference, so, yeah, do that.
- Of course, this is just a bit of fun.
It's Pride month and these are some things
that if you wanna seem less like a clueless straight person,
maybe listen up. (laughing)
Happy Pride!
- If you're queer or LGBT, let us know
down in the comments below what are
some things that annoy you?
What are some things that you wish
that people would stop doing?
Share your experiences with us there.
We're listening and Happy Pride Month, everybody!