You walk up to the window of your 30th floor skyrise apartment. As you gaze into the sunset
on the horizon, you’re filled with gratitude. Gratitude to be able to be able to pay off
all your debt. To give more to charity than you ever thought possible. To be recognized
and rewarded as a high achiever in your field.
That was the life I found myself in. Sounds great, right Except for one problem. I hated
the man in the mirror.
My overweight body made me cower in shame. My eyes told the story of utter loneliness.
My life severely lacked meaningful purpose.
On the outside, I was an Ivy League graduate, going to work on Wall Street in New York.
And a high performing one at that. I had it all together.
But on the inside, nobody knew just how my self-critical mind savaged my confidence,
my presence, my joy.
After years of failed diets and extreme exercise programs, a sinking feeling crept over me.
Was this all there is for me What if my time has run out I hit rock bottom.
But… rock bottom is a beautiful place to be. Rock bottom is the point at which we are
willing to try anything. To do whatever it takes. To see what we’re made of.
My rock bottom aligned beautifully with a visit with my sister. Since I last saw her,
she had lost 30 pounds, cleared up her skin, and reinvigorated her life. I had to have
what she had! She told me about this raw food plant based diet of hers, eating ONLY fresh
fruits and vegetables, nuts and seeds. I thought it was crazy, but I did it. I committed to
it. After all, what did I have to lose
100 pounds later, I had inspired countless people to take life into their own hands and
see what THEY were made of. I discovered that my next few years resided not on Wall Street
but in medical school, studying to become a naturopathic physician.
When I flew out to Arizona for the next chapter of my life, I realized that nobody knew me.
THIS was the chance to define who Dr. K of the future would be. How did he think How
did he eat How did he move How did he treat others What were his habits, routines, mindsets,
beliefs. I defined this man, and I lived into that vision every single day. I pushed myself
outside my comfort zone over and over and over. I released who I thought I SHOULD be
and embraced who I truly WAS. I stopped living in circumstance, and I started living in the
wonder of the man I could be.
And in the process, the man who was too ashamed of himself to leave his apartment over the
weekends even for a minute, became the man with the confidence and growth mentality to
become magnetic to the perfect woman for him. Those countless years of loneliness and self-criticism
were worth it. They were necessary for me to change, to become the man that Samantha
would fall in love with.
We spend too much time focusing on things we can’t control, trying to become who we
think we’re supposed to be. We pretend everything is ok by out-working, out-achieving everyone
else, just to hide from ourselves. I’m here to say, that’s no way to live.
Look, I stopped chasing joy. I MADE joy. I stopped resigning to circumstance. I lived
in WONDER. I stopped making myself always feel like a failure. I started living with
purpose.
The shy guy who put on a face to be the high achiever for the world… he should have never
become the Dr. K you see today.
So my question to you if you mastered YOUR emotional health, what could YOU do WHO could
you BE
A lot of us walk around telling ourselves we’re fine. “How are you doing today”
“Fine.” Are you To yourself, when nobody’s watching, are you really fine I know you have
goals and aspirations, things you want to do in this world. Maybe you’ve convinced
yourself that you’ve got to work on yourself first. Maybe you’ve convinced yourself that
the time will come. Maybe you’ve convinced yourself that you’re happy enough right
now. Or maybe in the middle of your chronic netflix binges, drinking after work most nights,
withdrawing yourself from meaningful human conversation… maybe to yourself, quietly,
you start to wonder is this all there is Am I just … broken
You are worth more than that. You weren’t born into this world and gone through all
you’ve gone through to sit here and hope things will get better. Seize it! Your time
is now! That joy want You can have it! That body you want Go create it! That dream you’ve
had all your life, the one you put on the backburner to do the right thing Go live it!
That spouse of yours you want to reconnect with Open your mouth and make it happen.
The bad news is, only you have the power to get out of your own way. Nobody can do it
for you. The good news is, you don’t have to wait for any time or anyone - decide, right
now, in this moment that enough is enough, and take one small step toward the person
you were born to be. Don’t wait for life to happen to you. Make your life happen FOR
you.
Imagine, you’re a block of ice at 0 degrees fahrenheit frozen in place, stuck, and wanting
nothing more than to reach 32 degrees and beyond so you can become water… powerful,
flowing, free.
So you dive into the world of personal development. You read the books, listen to the podcasts,
go to the seminars. Maybe you get the courage to go to therapy or see a doctor. You get
warmer and warmer. 10 degrees. 15 degrees. 20 degrees. But somewhere around 25 degrees,
you feel stuck. Exhausted. Burned out. You do your affirmations, exercise, eat right.
Yet you feel blind to your progress despite the years of effort you’ve put in. It feels
like you’re still at 0 degrees.
But is it that one degree from 31 to 32 that makes the state change from ice to water NO!
It’s the latent potential energy that accumulates as you add heat to the ice cube that eventually
breaks through at 32 degrees! That work you’ve put in HAS greatly benefited you. But the
work that it took you to go from 0 to 25 is NOT the same work that it takes to go from
25 to 32. It takes a new method. It takes a new mentality. It takes a mentor.
I’m Dr. K, your emotional health mentor. Stop chasing joy. Begin living in wonder.
I believe in your greatness!