Ethan: IT'S TIME TO STOP, MTV!
Ethan: I'm not sure, I don't know.
Ethan: Is white face racist or not?
Ethan: It's okay I can say whatever I want, I'm in white face
Ethan: IT'S TIME TO STOP!
MTV: First off, try to recognise that America was never "great" for anyone who wasn't a white guy.
Ethan: The fuck are you talking about?
Ethan: She's making it sound like nobody who's not a white male never had a good life in America
Ethan: Not one fucking person
Ethan: And then on the other side she makes it sound like every white male sitting
on an ivory tower, with like slaves and butlers and like women just sucking their dick
Because they fuckin' own the world,
Ethan: This is what- I'll tell you why pissed so many people off
Ethan: Because 30% of this country, the biggest group are white Americans (white males)
And I'll tell you what,
90% of 'em are just normal ass, fuckin' working class people!
Ethan: 95% struggling to get by just like the people on this video, right?
Ethan: And they're seeing this shit being like, "Yo where's my fuckin' privilege?"
Ethan: "Where is the privilege you guys are accusing me of having?"
Ethan: It's like, "Yeah, fuck you man"
Ethan: You get defensive 'cause it's like why you talking shit I didn't do anything. Fuck you!
Ethan: And why the fuck did MTV become Buzzfeed?!
Ethan: Who at MTV was like, "You what people love and we need to be more like? Buzzfeed. Everybody loves Buzzfeed."
Ethan: What da fuck dawg?
Ethan: Also I am available for children's parties and cameos in whiteface,
I do public speaking, bar mitzvahs,
weddings, guys I'm all over the place I'm
desperate for money, I know that I'm a
white male, but underneath I'm actually
I'm very olive complexion, so please
don't hate on me just based on if I-
if I take off this white face will you still love me?
MTV: Also, blue lives matter isn't a thing!
MTV: Cops weren't born with blue skin, right? I mean,
Yeah!
MTV: They weren't born blue!
Ethan: I think what he's trying to say is that
Blue Lives Matter is not equal to
Black Lives Matter, because you choose to be a
cop and you could- can quit being a cop
anytime you want, unlike being black, you
cannot quit being black, is what he was
trying to say, which is an interesting
point, but because it's such a stupid
poorly made fucking video, all it ends up
looking like is, "Hey, I'm a token fucking
black guy that the white person who made
this video threw in to make it look diverse.
Ethan: I do bar mitzvahs, by the way
Ethan: If anybody's looking for entertainers, for any
public events, please call me.
Ethan: Do you think he decided to wear that shirt or
the stylist, the director of this video
made him put
it on to appeal more to the, youth of America.
MTV: Stop bragging about being woke.
MTV: Stop saying woke!
Ethan: Why are you guys so angry about being woke, like that seems like such a
strange thing to like, latch onto. I don't
see white people walking around saying
they're being "woke".
why are you so upset about people being woke?
Maybe it's because you're not
woke, maybe because you sleep, bitch!
Ethan: How woke am I right now?
Hila:You're pretty slept.
Ethan: WHAT?!
Ethan: This is the face of a woke ass white man!
Ethan: Get on my level, bitch!
Ethan: That's a hip-hop dance
Ethan: I just appropriated your culture, bitch!
Ethan: Get woke!
MTV: Learn what mansplaining is, and then stop doing it.
Ethan: Did you just womansplain me to tell me
to do not mansplain?
Ethan: Did i just get- dude, you need to woke your ass up dawg
MTV: Oh and if you're a judge, don't
prioritize the well-being of an Ivy
League athlete over the woman he assaulted.
Ethan: It's a very specific message to
all white people, but I'll make sure the
memo gets around and everybody knows that.
MTV: We all love Beyoncé, and yeah she's
black, so of course she cares about black issues!
MTV: I'm talking to you, Fox News.
MTV: Feel free to take Kanye West, though you guys can have him.
MTV: You know what you did, Kanye.
Ethan: So let me get this straight, in a video
talking about how racist white people are,
you suggested excommunicating, one of your own kind,
for meeting with,
the president-elect!
Ethan: That's- that is the most
backwards, most fucked up thing ever.
Ethan: All you guys, all you white people you
can keep Kanye, because he met with the
President and now we don't want him
anymore, but fuck white people.
Ethan: Why am I talking about white people like a group,
it's so bizarre!
I've never done this before, I was like,
Oh, us white people. It's fucked up but they
did it, they like put me in this mindframe
where it's like us and them, I've never
thought about just like, oh, I'm a white person. Us white people.
Ethan: Like y- it's fucked up!
Ethan: They're fucking with my brain, it's not
supposed to be like that!
MTV: Nobody who has black friends, says that they have black friends.
Ethan: I have black friends, I have a ton of black friends
MTV: Just because you have black friends doesn't mean you're not racist!
MTV: You can be racist with black friends!
Ethan: Yo what the fuck, what do you want me to
do with my black friends now, that's the
only reason I was hanging out with them!
Ethan: Man I thought I was hanging out with my
black friends the whole time because
actually like them and had a fucking
friendship with them it would have turned
out just trying to prove that I'm not racist!
MTV: We know nobody's perfect.
MTV: But honestly, you could do a little better in 2017.
MTV: Some of you guys do a great job.
...some of you don't.
MTV: Please, because 2016 is bad.
MTV: 2017 can't be worse than this, alright?
Because this is bad.
Ethan: Yeah man, 2016 was a shitty year dude, it was hard.
And I recall the really obnoxious things that have been 2016.
Zarna: Hugh Mungus what?
Is that sexual harassment, is that what you just did
when you said that to me?
Hugh Mungus: What, Hugh Mungus?
Zarna: Why would you say that to me?
SJW: But, so, obviously, like, you as like a white male,
you really like least, like-
Lyft driver: But now you're judging me, you're assuming where I'm from.
Tan: That's my first train trip as a manspreader.
Tan: I just feel like a monster, already.
Tan: How can you do this everyday without being conscious of it?
Zarna: THIS PERSON JUST SEXUALLY HARASSED ME!
Zarna: HOW DARE YOU! HOW DARE YOU!
Zarna: DISGUSTING! DISGUSTING!
Woman Recording: ...you fucking selfish, dumbass idiot. *chuckle*
Woman Recording: You're gonna be on Gawker! *another chuckle*
Tan: What is it between their legs that's so important,
that it requires 2-3 seats?
*Ethan Crying*
*Ethan coughing*
FUUUUUCK
Ethan: I'm done with this.
Ethan: I'm done, dude.
Ethan: It's not funny.
Ethan: Still white.
Ethan: I'm still white.
Ethan: *sigh* I'm still white.
Ethan: And if you think I'm being racist for
defending white people, go back to my
videos from a month ago, when every alt-righter
that was subscribed to us was
shitting on me for being a fucking
libtard for calling out Joey Salads for
his racist black social experiments, k?
Ethan: I'm just calling it like I see it.
Ethan: These guys are fucking racist,
Joey Salads is fucking racist,
and I'm in whiteface, where does that leave me?
Ethan: I don't know!
Ethan: I do kids shows, please fucking hire me!
Ethan: Thank you so much to Dollar Shave Club for sponsoring this video.
Ethan: Shave up dawg!
Ethan: Damn that actually fucking works hella good!
Ethan: Use their blades with their shave butter for a dope-ass, close-ass clean!
Ethan: Get one of the best shaves I've ever had in my life.
Ethan: That's a new look for me!
Ethan: All new members that want to try this
lovely razor, and do so for $1.
Ethan: No risks,
no shipping fees, click the link in the description: dollarshaveclub.com/h3h3,
Ethan: You can be jamming and slamming just like the big boys!
Ethan: That is a clean shave,
commander Riker *wink*
Ethan: Do you like my facial hair?
Hila: No.
Ethan: She hates the haircut but she loves the close shave.
Ethan: They also sell shampoo and bodywash
that'll leave you smelling delicious! *sellout*
[h3h3 ending theme]