Hi I'm Lucy. Hi I'm Ranj. And today we're asking, do boys worry about how they look?
Worries about our body image can affect us all but it's increasingly affecting boys.
Do you think that there are too many pressures on boys about how they look?
Generally speaking I think there's more pressure now on young people as a whole to think about how they look and
possibly even to try and look a certain way than there ever has been. The difference now
is that traditionally everyone thought it was just girls that were worried about it
and what we recognise is that boys are just as worried. The only problem is they don't talk
and that's what we need to get them to do.
Why do you think that is, that boys are less likely to talk about how they're feeling about their body?
There's not one reason for that really. I think, generally speaking people
think that it's a sign of weakness and boys
have to put up this 'macho' front and aren't allowed to talk about their feelings, it's
not 'boyish' to do that, and we all know that's not true. Actually it takes more courage to
talk sometimes than it does to hold things in. There's a lot of pressure from people
around you to be a certain way, it might be your friends, your peers, your family.
People look up to people in the media and on social media and online and think that they have
to behave and look a certain way. All of those things together are contributing to people
not being able to be themselves and that's what we need to promote. It's important to
be conscious of yourself and to think about how you can be more healthy but that doesn't
necessarily mean looking like some of the things we are seeing
out there in magazines and in the media.
Sometimes people do talk about their bodies and things but a lot of
the time it can be like 'banter' or jokes, but that can actually then develop into something
that you're not that comfortable with. How can we look out for that and deal with that?
Jokes between friends are a good laugh but sometimes they can go too far. Just be careful of what
you say to each other and remember that what might be a really small thing to you, to somebody
else may be a really big issue. The things that worry boys aren't necessarily surprising.
It's about body shape, it's about size, it's about height, it's about how muscly or skinny
you might be, it's about how good your skin is, it's about what your hair looks like,
it can even be a lot more specific, so worrying about things like the size and shape of your
penis and things like that. These are worries that go through every boy's mind as they're
growing up and luckily the vast majority of young people are gonna be ok, they'll overcome
those challenges as they're growing but a small proportion will develop really significant
issues and they're the ones that need to talk.
How do you think that you could start a conversation around these kind of things?
I think it's important to recognise that we all think about
how we look. All of us. So it's not just something that affects one or two people. Everybody
has thought about how they look. I do it every single day so come at it as somebody who gets
that and has experienced it as well and it's not about confronting someone and saying "oh
my god you're doing this, that and the other" it's about saying "are you alright? Is there
something worrying you? I've noticed that you're doing this or that, is everything ok?"
It's just about starting that conversation gently, acknowledging that we all experience
those same things, it's just that some people, it affects them much more than others and
sometimes it has a really negative impact on people
and that's when we need to get people to talk about it.
So you've been really involved with the Boys' Biggest Conversation campaign
which is absolutely amazing. Do you want to tell us a bit about that?
So Boys' Biggest Conversation with the hashtag #ThisBoyTalks
is a campaign to try and encourage people to talk about those issues
if they feel like it's really affecting their lives, if it's
having such a major impact on your life that you are changing the way you behave and it's
affecting your schooling, it's affecting your home life, it's affecting your friendships,
then you really need to speak to someone about it.
How can we identify in ourselves and in others when it's getting to a point
where it might be a bit problematic and what can we do if that starts happening?
It's very normal to worry about the way you look. That's
a normal part of growing up and it's very normal to be conscious of your appearance
and actually we all compare ourselves to each other all the time. When it gets out of hand
is when we need to do something about it so if you are spending most of your day thinking
about your appearance, if you aren't doing normal activities because of your worries,
if you are constantly thinking about what you're eating, if you're constantly thinking
about how much you're exercising, if you're constantly comparing yourself to pictures
online. These are all worrying signs that you might be thinking too much about your
appearance. Luckily if you're in that situation or your friend's in that situation there's
loads of places you can go for help. Talking to a grown up about your worries might help
a lot of people, talking to a confidential helpline service like Childline might be a
really good idea. There's healthcare professionals out there too, so people like your GP or other
services out there, you can have a chat with them. By all means make an appointment with
your GP or if you've got a school nurse have a chat with them and they should be able to help you.
Thanks so much for coming in today. We'll see you next time, bye.